Just going through the archives of my old artwork...

Sigh, how much skill I've lost over the years... I used to work myself until I was totally fatigued; a complete perfectionist, I was never happy with anything I drew or painted, because I could always --I STILL always-- see the images so much clearer in my mind than what I could ever put to canvas.



But, as I look back at some of the pieces I never finished, even though I had spent so many hours working on them, it finally dawns on me how much better I was at it than I had ever realised at the time.



I still see the fatal flaws. I still know they could have looked far, far better. If only it came easier to me... if only it didn't wear me down, hour after hour, struggling, battling with every image I tried to create...



After a while, it really began to depress me. I stopped drawing so much... at first... and then completely.

I turned my attentions to what comes easier for me: animation. Flash stuff. Easier, because the quality of art is secondary to the motions they go through. Flash requires simplified assets; it is the key to keeping the animation smooth and lag-free.

But because of this, my actual drawing skills have withered and rotted away. I realise this today, because I wanted to draw myself a ref image for Moogie, and couldn't do it. I just couldn't draw anything well at all. And now, looking back, I see comparative masterpieces that I've never appreciated before. I don't know if I'll ever be that good of an artist again. What bitter irony; I've always thought I sucked at it, and now I really do.

It all slipped away, while I wasn't even looking.