Now, before I begin, I want to put forth a disclaimer: this only really applies to in-game stuff and its influence on out-of-game feelings and community drama. Community drama on its own is a different field entirely. Second: This is just how I do things. If you handle things differently, and it works for you, that's absolutely fabulous. In fact, feel free to put forth your own tips and strategies into your replies. This is just what I think may be worth trying if you find that you're being made unhappy by in-game events and do not like it. It may not work for you, but if you're really unhappy, you need to try changing something, and you are always the thing you have the most control over. I'm not attacking anyone in particular, I'm not out to cause more drama, I'm not thinking you're silly or wrong if you don't do these things. I just want to help people not feel the need to make the fusses we sometimes make over what amounts to a series of interlapping stories and a pile of pixels.

Also, I'm posting this in a time of relative calm as a preventitive measure. To my knowledge, there's nothing going on right now.

These are in no particular order.

#1: Recognize the patterns. Stuff happens all the time. Most of it is the same stuff, over and over again, because people are creatures of habit. What this means is, you can look back on familiar patterns and see what works and what doesn't, and how most things play out. Most dramas like this last between 1 to 5 days, max.

#2: Capitalize on IC drama ICly. Drama makes for fun stories. There's no need to run away from that fact just because you weren't planning on it. Try to find a way to make this unpleasant thing fun for you: for example, when Seed's unhappy, I make him roll out these big, flowery monologues (which I just freaking adore). Play your deer as the big-eyed victim when they're assaulted, or let them become jaded during the drama and then have their friends bring them around for a big, teary nonsense. Or whatever. Don't bring you as a person into this to begin with -- then no one wins. Of course, use your better judgement as necessary -- when you know your deer's reaction will only make more drama, make sure everyone knows the game you're playing. Laugh it off, if you have to -- or just take your deer out of it when you can't think of what to do.

#3: Assume The Best, Confirm or Deny Politely. Basically everyone here is here to have fun. No one really wants to hurt anyone. Remember that. Just because someone doesn't understand you or your meaning of fun doesn't mean they're deliberately hating on you. Try and imagine all the miriad of reasons why whatever you're involved in could be happening. Then, if you're not satisfied with letting it die down on its own, post a calm, polite message along the lines of: "I don't know why you're doing this, but it hurts my feelings. I know you probably do not mean it to do so, so please stop where I'm involved. Thank you very much for listening." If you can make it a private message, do so -- but if not, try to make it clear you're willing to be understanding and calm about this, and of course that it's not personal -- nothing should be when it comes to stuff about deer. Don't make a fuss where there doesn't have to be one (that may be the omnitip, right there.)

#4: Ask yourself sincerely "is this really worth my emotional energy? Does this matter?" I'm willing to bet the answer is no most of the time. Because it is a game, where nothing can really affect you physically, you can always log out, you can't lose anything but friendship and dignity (which can be lost the same way, that is, over-reacting), and it has the emotional attention span of a couple of days at its most tense. And that attention span can get shorter, if you just decide it's not worth the bad feelings to have bad feelings and let things slide. This may be a hard thing, since we do invest a lot in these characters and this landscape. But I think everyone's happier when they choose their emotional battles more carefully. I spent a lot of my childhood getting upset over teasing for no purpose and to no effect, but when I let go of deciding that what those kids did mattered, I found I was a lot less unhappy with my social life.

This is a correlary of #3, but... #5: This doesn't have to be about you unless you make it about you. Things aren't always personal attacks, or personal reactions. If that's your default assumption, or even an easy one for you, then that's going to of course make you unhappy. In fact, any time you start to think it's about you (as a person) without knowing for sure, stop yourself and ask if you know it's true, and then think "It's probably not about me. And even if it was... These people only know what I reveal about myself -- there's tons more to me than that, so it's only about aspects." Or something like that.


OK, those are my tips. What do you think? Anything I need to explain better? Any unhappiness-avoiding tips of your own?
...And please, guys...Save the drama for your llama here. I'm only trying to spread...LOVE AND PEACE! (/Vash the Stampede mode)