September 30, 2008 - 5:07pm — jadine
EDIT: Thanks to all. my mom has cooled off alot. and i feal no need to abuse my self at the moment. *nuzzlespams to all!*
I don't know where to turn too. I was going to go on DA and write about this there but I don't want to hurt my "IRL" friends or want them to know everything. But I feel I might go crazy if I don't speak this somewhere.
This is real life drama.
Lately my mom has been acting totally insane. Getting mad at the tiniest of problems, and she’s been super stressed about her problems, and her favorite thing to relieve her stress is me, for 3 days she’s been yelling at me, and insulting me, and trying to make it so I won’t spend any time with my only friend( who is my only connection to the outside world).
I just sit in my room and cry until my only comfort of sleep comes, Its ridiculous but when I’m this beet down, the best way i knew how to fix it was I get as close to the wall as possible, wanting it to swallow me up.
But these past 3 days ... I’ve found a new way to work out my sadness and emotional pain I...I, will I just struck out at the closest thing to me. Me. I punched my jaw so hard I can't chew but when I struck I didn’t stop, I couldn't stop now I have a bruise on my chest. Scratch marks on my face neck stomach and arms.
I don't know what’s happening! I don't know how the Emo thing works, I don't think I'll slice myself, but then again I didn't think that I would have self inflicted bruises either. it just happened!
What do I do? Help me!
Everything is fine now, but
Nala, the kind and oh so playful little butterfly doe.
I'm not sure what kind of
I think the whole idea behind 'emos' is that they feel that they can forget their emotional problems if they're thinking about the giant gash they just cut into their arm. Replacing pain with pain never made any sense to me...And trust me...I've been around but even when the rock bottom cracked and I found myself falling into a deeper, darker abyss, I never tried to hurt myself to forget it.
I typically turned to my boyfriend and any other close friend. I spill my heart out to them, getting everything off my chest, and turning to them for strength. Sadly, life doesn't have a magical button that makes things all better nor can we fast forward it to skip the bad parts, we just have to keep hanging on and try to get through it. Listening to music always helps me calm my nerves until I can talk to someone. Sometimes I'll even write out everything that I'm feeling just to get it out of my system. You don't have to necessarily show anyone what you wrote- you can just tear it up when you're done so no one reads it - but sometimes that helps to just let you cut lose and get some anger out in a way that's safe for you.
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Avy by Hermeleentjen.
* Twilight's Child
* "Perfect" Prince
Go talk to someone. School
School councelors would be a good place to start. I know it sounds embarassing and overdone, but if you're inflicting injury on YOURSELF, do it. It'll end for the better. As for now, I'd suggest telling your mom about what you've been doing. Might shock her back to normal, make you stop hurting yourself, and annul above advice.
Love for you, dear. Hope it works out. <3
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Bios
Forest FAQ
aww. <3 I hope you'll be ok,
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perp + jadine = <3 ... :/
My TEF Forum. Join pleawse? =3
Wow...I cut a special name
Maybe you should talk to your mom about how you feel? She might stop whatever you call it that she's doing...
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