[name] Sabastion
♠
[gender] male, buck
[age] ageless, late adolescence
[species] resembles a
Sambar deer; was once human
[orientation] homosexual
[diagnosed with] insomnia, undifferentiated schizophrenia, social phobia
[height & build] #29
[speaks in] #7DA9C7
[voice] David Gilmour (singing)
[set] nightfall pelt, skull mask, candles
[reference]
•
Sabastion suffers from insomnia and rarely finds rest. When he does, he has surreal dreams that are devoid of hope.
•
He tends to wander, as he gets restless easily, even if he's in the company of friends.
•
He is often deep in thought and stuck in a perpetual waking dream-like state.
•
Large antlers are frightening to him; he is uncomfortable around very masculine deer.
•
He is homosexual, but he is very much in denial of this. He fears any form of intimate contact, and nuzzles from males.
•
His fear of large antlers is attributed to his fear of giving in to his underlying sexuality towards males.
•
He is prone to having bouts of anxiety and sometimes panic attacks, usually over nothing.
•
Because of his social phobia he tends to avoid groups of deer; he prefers minimal company.
•
He may flee from a growing crowd, or invasive deer. He is easily spooked by deer that rush into his personal space.
•
Suffers from mild audio and visual hallucinations at times due to having a form of schizophrenia.
•
His audio hallucinations are similar to this wavering sound effect (1:20-1:22).
•
On the rare occasion he also hears disembodied whispering and screams, as well as unearthly noises.
•
Visual hallucinations vary in their intensity, but usually not crippling. Mostly consist of facial and shadow distortions.
•
It is sometimes difficult for him to remember faces or scents due to these distortions. His memory is also not very good.
•
Patience and understanding are key to knowing and getting to know Sabastion.
He is gentle, nervous, shy, flighty, awkward, introverted, observant,
submissive, cautious, uncertain, distrusting, self-loathing, lonely,
wary, fearful, insecure
He loves small company, comfort, sunshine,
sitting in flower patches, fog, the sound of rain, watching from afar,
being hidden from view (security)
He fears himself, intimacy, confrontation, fighting,
darkness, aggression, large antlers, masculine displays,
hallucinations, deep water, his desires
haha thank you! i hope he
You're welcome! At the most
Yay! I'll just slap a post
Ly moved slowly about, drifting toward The Playground with fear in every step. The night terrified him like this. Taunting and silent and laughing at him. He felt whispered to in the cold, misty depths of night. He sought warmth and perhaps some comfort in this new sanctuary. He stopped short when he saw the figure sitting there on the largest rock. He didn't want to be afraid, but it was inevitable. He timidly approached, "H-hello?"
It smelled like a stag, he decided this as he moved closer. His steps got quiter and quiter with his growing fear. His bells sang a little as he mistepped. He hissed at them in his mind, wishing them to quiet. "H.. Hello?" He asked again.
oh! well that's good
dmitri can be violent/rough, though, but that's mainly out of possessiveness and the like, and with hunting.
Sabastion was lost in thought
An ear suddenly flicked to the sound of a timid voice behind him, and the trance was immediately broken. So untrustworthy was he of his surroundings that he was on his feet in an instant, his eyes wide and fully alert from behind the skull that he wore upon his head. It was not as he had feared, however: his visitor was in fact not threatening at all. There was a charming look about the smaller stag, his blonde curls giving him a touch of innocence and youth. A gentle smile tugged at Sabastion's lips, and he offered a half-bow from where he stood. "Hello," he began softly, his own voice bearing a timid tone. "It's alright...I won't hurt you. Are you okay? You look terribly frightened," Sabastion continued, his smile slowly melting into a subtle frown.
~
parler - Ooh...that's understandable, certainly! Inevitably witnessing such a thing would frighten Sabastion, but right now he's pretty much at ease just sitting with Dmitri.
well that's good! c:
Ah, gotcha! I do admit that I
lol! but aww, okay! i'm
LOL yeah, I'm a little out of
alright! my msn is
Awesome, thank you!
you're welcome. (: anyway, i
No worries, and likewise!
Can I suggest an RP between
Of course! That can
I'd definitely love to rp
Despite that I'm brain-dead most of the time. >_>LOL! No worries, I'm brain
Sorry, I had to go have
Here, or on MSN maybe?
And haha, that's okay. Bryn is just sort of slowly testing to see how close he can get without freaking Sabastion out.
No problem at all! Hm...I
I'm up for it any time. c:
I can't seem to log in again
Maybe we should do posting here so that we can each go when we have time?
And i'd rather not start if that's okay. Bryn can stalk into the rp that way /pfft
^ I agree, I think we should
I suck at starting rp's also.. >_>
That's perfectly fine with
~
That stag was back, the one with the pale face. As Sabastion gazed at him from the security of the moss-ridden log, he couldn't help but feel a little confused. Why this stag insisted on following him, he did not know. However, he was no longer afraid. Oh, he was still wary and a little uncomfortable, but he was also curious. Approaching this mystery stag had been proven unsuccessful on Sabastion's part when an interjecting deer with large antlers spooked him, prompting him to flee. Seeking refuge in the blue bowl and remaining hidden from sight, he was surprised if not a little devastated when the pale-faced stag managed to find him. He had been devastated in the sense that one of his most frequented shelters had proven to be entirely unreliable now that he had been found out. Dejected, Sabastion retreated from the blue bowl shortly thereafter, slipping from under the pale-faced stag's notice.
As he wandered aimlessly, a familiar scent graced his olfactories and prompted him to search his memories. His head was foggy as always, but somehow he was able to place which deer the scent belonged to. Sure enough, as he crested a nearby hill, his eyes locked with Martin's. A sense of great relief overcame the blue buck, and he soon closed the distance between the two and sniffed at the familiar deer. A fond smile formed on his lips, largely obscured by the skull. "Martin...I am very happy to see you. How are you this evening?" Sabastion asked softly, even shyly, and being as awkward as he was he found it very difficult to keep his eyes on Martin's own. The smile remained, however, his ears perked delicately atop his head.
Brain dead you say, huh?
Also, sorry for a late reply..
Pff, you can barely see Martin's speech.. |D
~
Wandering around, searching for familiar faces, the buck suddenly stopped as he inhaled the fresh evening air that carried a familiar scent. His gaze suddenly caught a blue buck passing by. Martin stood still and watched him. Suddenly, to his great surprise, the blue buck turned towards Martin. He carefully approached, searching through his memory for who the other one might be. Martin's inside suddenly filled with joy as he approached the blue buck. It was Sabastion. A buck Martin met the other day. Such a great surprise it was to meet him again.
His pale yellow eyes gazed over on Sabastion. A wide smile appeared on his pale face. His ears pricked as he heard Sabastion's voice.''It's.. good to see you too, Sabastion.'' The buck spoke with a soft voice. ''I'm alright, I suppose. And how about you?'' He asked, shy and curious.
/fail
LOL, no worries about
~
His smile did not wane as Martin responded almost as shyly as he had himself. It was a relief to be able to be on friendly terms with another deer, and a buck no less, that connected with him on a personal level. There was nothing overtly masculine about Martin, which really did put Sabastion at ease. Martin's body was a little smaller and noticeably lither than Sabastion's own, mimicking a doe's frame. How interesting. An ear twitched to a brief whistling of wind, though Martin would not have heard it for it wasn't a natural occurrence. Sometimes the noises were pleasant, but other times...well, he didn't want to think about that.
"I'm doing well, thank you," the blue buck replied softly, his eyes finally shifting up to meet Martin's again. If they were indeed becoming friends, then he needed to learn to at least look him in the eye. It was the polite thing to do. "Although, I guess I'm a little unnerved. That odd stag from the other night...do you remember him? He was watching me tonight, following me. I know he means no harm, but...I don't know what he wants. I just feel so uneasy when I look up and see that he is watching me," Sabastion continued with a small shudder. It wasn't the best small talk, and he felt a little bad for bringing it up, but the fact of the matter was that he didn't have much else to talk about. Sabastion was not a social deer after all; he saw more than he spoke.
♥
LOL. I didn't wanna post my
Selruil - ♥ ~!
Silver - Absolutely, that sounds great! I look forward to them meeting at last. <3
(( I think I went a bit
It was nearing the time when Brynhried knew that Velocity would arrive, and zombie deer would be running through the forest. He had no inclincations to join them; those huge, red antlers were not something he liked. They frightened him far more than the skulls did; he remembered his father in them. A heavy swing of antlers to crash down on him, as a fawn...it was an uncomfortable memory in his mind, and more than once that eve, he found himself cowering at the sight of one wearing them, later embarrased by his actions.
It had been some months since he'd bothered to remember any faces; what some might call friends. He was becoming more confident; atleast, up until this night. He'd beaten his father; he could do it again. Whiteface threw his shoulders forward proudly and kicked at a tree at the thought. There was a lot of chaos in those thoughts; he could defend himself from the one who had brought terror into his whole life, but he was also making him proud and happy at the same time. And inaction was not a choice.
Deciding that maybe this wasn't going to help his mood, Brynhried thought instead of the stag he'd tried to approuch a number of times. First was with his friend; both of them had seemed skittish, and so he'd left them at a distance when they showed discomfort. He didn't want to scare anyone, but he wasn't sure what else to do. So he persisted. When he saw that his friend was gone, he supposed the job would be easier, and for a while it had been; but a stranger had come and ruined that. He'd tried dancing, throwing flowers around, clearly inviting him over. And when he'd made progress, some fool just had to ruin it.
Now, awake and leaving the blue bowl, the large buck sighed impatiently. He wanted some connections in this forest; he'd done very little so far in that way. But when he tried...it had all gone wrong. Hmph. How stupid this whole thing was.
Flicking his now lengthy hair back from his face, Brynhried soon picked up on the trail of the blue-pelted stag, after waiting around and listening. He was with that other one too; double the challenge, especially considering that he didn't know what it was about himself that frightened them. He was coming in close to them, and was probably well into view when he started that cautious slow walk; they were talking, but he didn't hear them from that distance. And just when he was distracted, one of the many zombie deer of the night arrived out of nowhere, sprinting past but coming very close. Whiteface turned on his heels lithely, only to cower and shrink away, burnt orange eyes widening in fear as he saw the rippiling patterns of red.
He kicked out, feeling defenseless, but the stag was well on his way and didn't even notice Brynhried there. And then he was gone.
The buck's smile remained as
Edit: Also this. I really feel like a poo for not coloring it, but I'm really lazy and I would just mess everything up. ;_____; I'll draw another one when I get some motivation.
It was admittedly a little
When he looked up again, he was surprised to see that Martin was frantically looking him up and down. To his own surprise, he was not entirely uncomfortable with this; after all, Martin seemed more concerned than anything. "I...n-no, he didn't do anything," Sabastion replied quietly, feeling a little flabbergasted. No one had ever asked if he was alright, at least not so sincerely. Even when the distortions got really bad and he stumbled around with a glazed-over expression, the other deer were more prone to fleeing than asking of his welfare. He supposed he couldn't blame them; it must have been an unnerving sight to witness, him crying out to some being who wasn't there and begging for it to leave him alone.
Despite Martin's calm expression, Sabastion could read his disposition very well. His body was stiff, tense, ready to take flight. His chest was heaving and his ears were flicking about; it was easy to see that Martin was very nervous. Taking a step forward, Sabastion tilted his head slightly, his brow knit. "Martin, are you alri-" His voice trailed off and his eyes went wide as a large deer with zombie antlers suddenly burst into his line of vision, a little too close for his taste. The blue buck automatically jumped back with a small cry, and he then gasped when he finally noticed the pale-faced stag. He had followed him as usual, and curiously he too seemed to be in distress due to the zombie deer's sudden appearance. The pale-faced one was not close to them, but he also wasn't far either, and he had begun to buck and kick out his legs in frustration which did nothing for Sabastion's nerves. "H-He's here...he followed me again," the blue buck managed to speak in a strangled voice, his legs locked in place and his anxiety building. He wished he could be strong and brave for his friend, to set an example, but he just couldn't. He was and always would be a coward.
~
OMG! 1, I absolutely love this: he looks so sweet, and you draw him so well! You are quite talented; why would you ever say that you don't have art skills? ;; Don't worry about it not being colored, but I'm sure that you wouldn't mess it up at all. After all, you drew him perfectly! <3 Thank you so much dear, and please, don't feel any pressure. He looks wonderful, even without color! T_T
Whiteface was badly shaken;
But he remembered the two stags. Brynhried didn't turn to them immediately; he got his breath and courage back slowly, watching in the direction where the zombie had disappeared. He stood to his full height, and anxiously did one of his turns. There were no others in sight, and finally his nerves settled. The buck turned and faced them, ears slowly lying flat as he wondered what to do.
They'd been in this situation many times, and he'd succeeded partially once; when the friend had been absent, he'd managed to sit for quite a while, with only a metre or two between him and the stranger...well, not exacly a stranger anymore. It was too far to try and talk again, so Whiteface began that slow, calm walk.
Blissful ignorance was a part
A soft gasp fell from the blue buck's lips as Whiteface's gaze locked with his own, and he quickly looked away, his nerves climbing steadily. He was walking towards them now, slowly but deliberately. Sabastion's heart raced, his ears turning in every direction as a low humming buzzed in his skull. He could barely think through the noise, and he shook his head violently to clear it as he took another step back. "Martin...what should we do?" he whispered anxiously as he desperately searched the other buck's face for any kind of closure. Oh, hwo strong that instinct of taking flight was...yet something held him back, kept his hooves grounded in the earth.
[OMG I AM SO SORRY. ;-;
Lykai shifted slightly. The stag before him seemed nice enough. He hurriedly bowed down, shaking a little on his way up.
He heard his voice ring out softly as well, comforting him slightly more. "A-uhm. I- I'm f-fine." His cheeks flushed and he looked down and away, shifting his feet around nervously. No one had really ever asked him how he felt. Other stags worried him; made him feel anxious, cautious, over-aware. He was a-okay with does, though, lately, the only other deer he'd encountered have been male. It was slightly frustrating, but understandable considering everything that had been happening with Halloween and The Rut and so on.
He felt completely grounded and hyper-awar right then, thinking about his over-eccentric emotions and what they decided to do to him.
A breeze rushed by and jingled his bells. The melody was sweet, but slightly off. Ly craned his neck to the right, forcing the bells tied there to sing, completeing the sound. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you... I was just... Wandering.." He kept his eyes on the ground now, nervousness quaking in his voice as it grew lighter and lighter, eventually fading to something below a whisper as he fiished the careful sentence.
No problem at all dear, I
~
An ear twitched as the bells that were threaded along the smaller buck's body rang softly against the gentle breeze. It was a pleasant sound, one that continued to ring softly in the blue buck's ears. A small smile touched his lips as warmth began to spread through him. He had almost forgotten how wonderful some sounds were; for too long he had been exposed to those that were harsh and grating, tormenting and undying.
Sabastion stood still as he observed the fidgeting buck, tilting his head slightly. It was curious, being approached but one as timid as he, and out of nowhere no less. In fact, this little buck seemed even more nervous and flighty than Sabastion himself usually was, and the blue buck inexplicably began to feel this need to protect growing within him. It confused him, because he had never felt such an emotion before. Why would he feel the need to protect when he himself was a coward? At the first sign of aggression, he would tuck his tail and run.
Ly's voice brought the blue buck back to reality, and he blinked. "Disturb me? No, no...I have a feeling that you couldn't disturb anyone," he replied reassuringly with a soft chuckle. He then nodded slowly in understanding. "I'm a wanderer myself. Not just through this forest, but through life. My feet carry me, but I have no destination," he continued, noticing the growing anxiety in the smaller buck's tone. Sabastion remained silent for a moment, and then pawed gently at the mossy rock as he tilted his head once again. "Come...you can sit by me if you'd like. I wouldn't mind the company, but I won't be offended if you'd rather be alone." Deep down, he did hope that Ly wouldn't deny his offer. After all, he felt that he could relate to the bell-ridden buck, and to seek some comfort in that familiarity would give him some closure at least.
Ah, I'm glad :3 For both of
~
Ly's eyes glazed over and he looked up at the buck. He was smiling, which made him feel nice. Slowly, his fear started to lift. His mind seemed to contort around, flipping tricks on him. Lykai felt glad to be somewhat in this buck's company. He didn't really know anyone in this forest; no friends, no family. It would be nice to know someone. I mean, he'd healed one or two people, sat with deer that were just trying to be nice, but it wasn't the same as having a genuine friend or deer to call 'family'.
He felt so insignificant, being alone in this vast place with all these deer that were related in one way or another. It was strange and bewildering to most why he was so worried and jumpy and the way he felt the need to serve or add titles to names. It drove him crazy, yes. He felt so judged and whispered about. Like anxiety and paranoia struck through him just for fun; like they couldn't find any other victum. He gazed at Sabastion who looked just as lost in thought as he did.
"Oh... I'm glad." Another blush stained his cheeks, his voice maintaining the small, gentle tone. Sab's chuckle made him feel calm now, like the stag was honest in what he was saying. Sort of like he could relate to him. "Interesting.. That's an interesting point of view. I've had so much time to be alone in my thoughts that my head's not really a place I'd rather stay in." He let a small chuckle escape from his throat, the sound almost identical to the bells. There was a new-found confidence in his tone when he spoke that last sentence, he somehow felt comfortable with telling Sabastion that. It took him a second to realize he might think he was weird for saying something like that. But his next words reassured him, but also made him timid and blush once more. "O-oh. Thank you... I think I will. Company... Would be nice." He smiled smally to himself and moved cautiously over to the rock.
"My name is Lykai, by the way."
i hope you don't mind me
---
"Hello," he said, his voice echoing behind the spider-like mask he wore. Dmitri bowed down and dipped his head, the motion smooth, before rising back on to all four of his legs in his usual manner. "I believe I failed to introduce myself properly yesterday. I'm Dmitri." His tail flicked to swish away a fly. "What is your name?" Dmitri asked, nodding his fangs forward.
[Kasmir] Sabastion's smile
Sabastion's smile did not wane, although it did appear to gain a hint of sadness as Lykai spoke. "I never thought I'd meet another deer that bears the same dilemma. My head is not a place I like to be, but I'm trapped there. I have no power over it, or what it lets me see. And so it trails me behind, leading me blindly through this never-ending abyss. I've grown more comfortable knowing that I bear no purpose, but I still wish to be freed." The blue buck's voice trailed off, his eyes which had glazed over showing some clarity once again. Shaking his head, Sabastion sighed. "I'm sorry, I ramble. I guess I'm not used to conversing very much," he continued, feeling a little embarrassed.
Surprised, his ears perked when Lykai did not deny the offer of company, and Sabastion felt his heart swell slightly within his ribcage. Bowing his head slightly, his smile retaining its warmth, the blue buck gave a half-bow. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Lykai. My name is Sabastion," he replied gently, his eyes now bearing a rare shine. He then settled down upon the rock and looked up at his new companion. "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how did you acquire those bells? I assume they're significant to you. They make the loveliest sound I've heard in a while," Sabastion added, feeling the need to further the conversation which was also a rare opportunity for him.
~
[parler]
As usual, the blue buck was lost in though. A pleasant humming resounded within his skull, making him feel drowsy. Yet he didn't wish to sleep, for his dreams filled him with despair. It wasn't like he could fall asleep easily anyway, or even at all. Yet, when a familiar voice reached his conscience his ears perked up, and awareness returned to his eyes. Turning his head he saw Dmitri standing off to the side, and as he bowed and spoke Sabastion rose and returned the bow with a small smile. Admittedly, the sight of Dmitri's mask was a little unnerving, but it hadn't deterred Sabastion from his company the day before. After all, he himself work the skull of a deer upon his head, so who was he to judge?
"Greetings, Dmitri. My name is Sabastion," he replied softly, perhaps a little more timidly than he intended. It was a little overwhelming, being approached by a handful of friendly strangers on separate occasions, and although it made him a little nervous he wouldn't ever complain. Awkwardly, he remained standing where he was, looking shyly away from the spider-buck for a while. He then gently cleared his throat again, his smile returning and his curiosity peaked. "I've never seen an inhabitant of this forest quite like you. I must admit I was a little apprehensive at first, but you're very kind. I cannot thank you enough for your company, and for caring enough to tell me your name," Sabastion said, blushing slightly out of embarrassment. He hoped that he wasn't making Dmitri uncomfortable with his own awkwardness.
"It's nice to meet you,
The other buck's nervousness was apparent, especially compared to Dmitri's virtually stoic presentation. His body was larger, his legs longer, and his posture confident. "I'm also glad you told me your name," he responded. The spider-like deer noted the blushing, but didn't comment on it for he didn't want to embarrass Sabastion more than he might have already been. "Would you like to join me for a walk?" The question was asked in hope of easing the tension.
Sabastion was not a deer who
"I haven't a reason to be afraid of you, as you've shown me nothing but kindness," Sabastion replied earnestly, his own smile growing with confidence. Indeed Dmitri was bigger than him, but he wasn't exactly a figure of pure masculinity. The absence of large antlers really helped, even with the unsettling mask. The blue buck almost immediately perked up at the gentle request, his ears tipping forward. It wasn't a request that he'd ever remember getting, at least not in the forest. A walk...yes, that sounded nice. To walk with some company rather than with his own suffocating thoughts sounded wonderful. "I would like that very much, thank you," he replied, his voice still a little shy but his smile and eyes brightening. "We can go wherever you'd like. I really don't mind where...but maybe we could avoid crowds?" he added a little uncertainly, his eyes shifting away as his embarrassment returned. Why Dmitri wished to get to know someone as skittish and distrusting as himself, he didn't know. But at the same time, he didn't wish to question it.
A little smile tugged at the
~
I'm so glad you like it. ;u;
He was getting closer, but he
He was getting closer, but he quickly noticed their reactions; the blue one in particular seemed frightened, and he shook his head once; Brynhried took it to mean a 'no' in his direction, and immediately halted, sighing impatiently once again. Then the other one turned, and simply stared. Burnt orange eyes would stare right back, but he'd raise an eyebrow. Was this all really necessary? He wondered how anyone made friends around here.
"I just-" He stopped himself, voice hoarse and sore from little use. He hadn't spoken since that fight. He coughed loudly, shaking his hair out of his face. "I..., uhm....," What would you say in a situation like this? Brynhried tried not to make a fool of himself, but came out rather miserably. "Why do-," Nope. "Eugh.....why are you afraid of me now? What- what am I doing wrong? I never harmed you. I just sat with you. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? I mean-," He stopped, getting ahead of himself before he got worked up and angry.
That wouldn't help him at all.
Another one of those sighs before he hung his head a little bit to calm himself.
The buck's eyes watched the
This is such an interesting
Hooran - Thank you so much!
~
Subconsciously, and also instinctively, Sabastion had begun to take refuge behind Martin, his eyes wide and his chest heaving. He would never use his new friend as a shield, no...but he didn't want to run, either. There was no way he would leave Martin behind, but then there was also this small sliver of sanity within him that demanded that he stayed where he was. And so he did, but that doesn't mean that he couldn't continue to shiver and crouch like the coward he was.
He couldn't bring himself to look into those piercing, orange eyes, and so his gaze remained fixated on Martin's back, taking some comfort in his friend's presence. "Wh-why do you follow me? I j-just want to be left alone, and I look up and you're looming not too far away, watching me. You w-wouldn't leave me alone...how can I not be nervous or afraid? It just...it makes me very uncomfortable, and I don't know what your intentions are," Sabastion explained slowly, his voice quiet but hopefully loud enough for Bryn to hear.
The blue buck hadn't been followed like this in a while, and the last encounter had unnerved him greatly. He'd almost forgotten how much being followed frightened him, and really, it was more of a human reaction than anything. Who would get up and greet someone who had been following them for a couple of days? "You have to understand that this isn't a way to make friends...stalking them, making them uncomfortable," he continued in a mumble, although he felt as if he'd been talking for hours. He never thought he'd say so much to a stranger at one time, but hopefully Whiteface would understand.
Mm, lovely character! Nice
Love the username, may I add
Awh, thank you so much dear!
Tacking. Lovely Character~
Thank you dear, I very much
The dark-maned one spoke
"I- followed you, because i'm just...i'm trying-.....," Another stop as the blue continued.
Wait, what. "It's not?" He said outright, this time with no hesitation. He was doing something wrong? "It's not.....?" Does. not. compute.
"But- no-," he continuted to splutter in a rushed manner. "Why....hff.....I didn't know. I'm stupid. It doesn't make sense to me. How do you do it then? I tried all I know, and as soon as I got anywhere, you ran away."
Whiteface stopped himself again, in his odd halting manner of speach. He was trying not to work himself up, or upset either of the two. "I'm.....," It was as close to an apology as he could manage, for he wasn't sure what to say, and he wasn't sorry, just confused.