[Warning: Mature stuff ahead and all that. Sensitive kiddies, beware XD]
Also if you would like to contact me for any reason, email at or Skype: Shioriness
D A R C Y --------------------------------------------------------------------------
. . . U P D A T E S . . . June 1st
Mental |||||||||||||||||||| Physical
"The poisons aren't helping anymore.
I keep up my consumption though, afraid...- afraid of what will happen if I give up. Ha. No. I know very well what will happen. I'll be overcome by madness- like my mother; my brother. For so long now, spiteing them has been my motivation to keep going. I thought I could prove them wrong. I thought I could show them that I was capable of love, and that others were capable of loving me, too.
Always the fool...
It's all a joke now - waking up every day, going through the motions. Do I look thinner? Sometimes I forget to eat...Well, aside from the plants that feed by growing nausea. I feel so sick, but somehow it's still better than the alternative...
I did venture down to the pond today. I stood ankle-deep in the water for the longest time, staring out across it's surface, looking for those devilish eyes amongst the lilypads. 'Neath...would he take me if I lay down and offer myself? Could it be that easy? He never showed, of course, and I remember laughing so hard I had to vomit in the reeds.
Heh, 'reed's. A fitting place for vomit.
The taste of my own blood still lingers on my tongue. Perhaps I wont have to go looking for the Reaper. Perhaps he'll find me first. I shouldn't care, but...the thought doesn't sit well with me. I can't die from this. I can't simply lay down and let myself wither away. But why? It was not as though my existance deserved an anymore nobler end... Yet my body aches - not just from sickness, but restlessness. That old familiar masochism that yearns for a more violent death. Go down fighting? There was an idea...
Alas, just an idea. I've always been full of silly ideas. In the end, would it really matter? Dead was dead. Nobody would waste their magic on me, drag me back from hell or revive my soul. There would be no regrets. There'd be nothing at all. I have no immediate plans to act on any such ideas, of course. I've been accused of overthinking things, and now is no different. Sitting here, alone, the sun on my bare face, it's easy to roll thoughts of my own mortality through my head
I would miss the sun."
D wanted this to be in his own words this time...
Also, relations updates.
General
Name: Darcy. Prefers just 'D' Gender: Stag Age: Late Thirties (Birthday: June 9th) Size: #13 Voice: Similar to Ethan Hawke Scent: Old Spice 8| The man your man could smell like~ Set: Monarch Pelt, Real Deer Mask, Fan Antlers
Personality
Laid back and easy-going, Darcy isn't the hardest stag to get along with. He's generally accepting of strangers big and small and takes anything 'out of the ordinary' in stride. While he has his charming and polite moments, the stag's humor is generally pretty dry. Sarcasm is a second language and making a joke out of everything is second nature. There's also a definitive air of self-confidence about him that makes up for his lack of size and general bulk. He faces challenges head on and all too often with a smirk on his face. Darcy has very strong principals and rules that make up his sense of 'right and wrong' and follows them closely...even if they sometimes seem a bit contradictory to others. He often expects the same courteousness in return and may pass judgement quickly on anyone who doesn't heed those expectations. Rudeness is something he doesn't take lightly.
Once a loyal and fiercely protective friend and lover, Darcy is now weary of close connections. He thrives on casual encounters, intimate or otherwise, and will reject any company he feels may be getting too close, or who is already close and straying - a 'hurt them before they hurt me' mentality. When he does acquire a friend or a lover, Darcy can lay the charm on thick. He's calm, sensitive, respectful and attentive, giving a deer exactly what they need when the occasion calls that he give anything at all - unless, of course, what they need goes against his own principals. He rarely ever opens up to anyone, unless you somehow manage to slip past his censors and grow closer to him then he often permits. His smile often times hides lies and the something that brews beneath his calm exterior can sometime be seen through his eyes and subtle expressions.
When he acquires an enemy, however, Darcy can hold grudges. He may even go out of his way to spite another if he feels the 'hurt' must be repaid. He holds no biased between males or females, treating them equally, and sometimes even fawns, though he adjusts his tactics according to weakness. He's not afraid of a fight, though he may refrain from one of loss is a certainty. Most of the time his confidence in his abilities trumps any doubt and he'll rush headlong into competition in ways that may appear reckless to most. When he fights, Darcy fights dirty. Quick on his feet and skilled with his maneuvers, he'll take down his opponent however he can if it's a serious battle. If not, he may enjoy teasing and taunting his enemy more then harming them, keeping just out of harm's way and dancing at the edge of danger.
There is a darkness in Darcy, of that you can be sure...but also a lot of light. He no longer is the stag he once was, but glimpses can still be seen beneath a colder, more distant mask. There is always a certain sadness and secretiveness about him, clear in his slow, thought-out expressions and careful words. He does his best to control the worst side of him through a variety of methods, and ignores the judgement passed on him. In anger and distress though, he sometimes loses all control and lets the darkness out in irrational bursts. During these times, he is a mere shadow of himself, empty yet full of rage and despair.
Gus still isn't keen on D eh? He has a weakness for fawns it's true ._. And she's a sweetheart. He's injured and not feeling well and he's still doing his best to entertain her ha. Though, he's trying not to get too attached at the same time, as well as not step on her parent's toes.
Haha Gustiro has a strange mind. XD But really Gustiro just has not formed a sense of trust much yet. He normally sees strong-ish or large antlered deer as dangerous. Then you have the whole dominance thing. Without it he feels he has less control of situations. But I wont go into more detail. I should go to bed. XD
But yes, Idelle was very amused. Darcy made her first day in the forest even more exciting and grand. I was rather surprised on how well it went.
Anyway, I better get some sleep. Goodnight.
"Thank you." Eraline whispers as she is leaning out of their nuzzle, her eyes tired and faraway. He had kept her steady tonight - the darkest pit of her at bay. She turns then to make her way home without another word.
She was very much excited to see Darcy.
As he trotted her way she stood, stretching sore limbs she was still unsteady on.
"Hello Darcy" It was quiet, but full of recognition and warmth.
She was thrilled to see him healthier than how she had left him. Using all four legs again even. His unbridled energy confused and tired her. Poor Darcy, the one time he's healthy and bouncy she's tired and cranky.
"I was afraid no one would remember me. You look much better, by the way. Come sit?"
Fikos:
He stared upon the little doe with wide eyes, full of happiness and yet, uncertainty. There was no mistaking her voice, but could he really be looking at Fikos? "Of course I remember, you silly thing! And you look...different again," he ventured cautiously, brows flexing in a concerned question he did not ask, "I hardly recognized you."
(Forgive my lack of detail, I'msotired lol. WELCOME BACK?)
A small sigh of relief escaped, though she tried to hide it. She picked up on his concerned tone before the look. Should she have expected otherwise? Did Darcy even know there were places outside the forest? Sne nuzzled him cautiously, but not withholding. Something was very different about him as well, and it made her skittish.
When the other deer approached, it boiled over. The stranger and Darcy sat down, and though there was no impending sense of danger, she ran. Not so far as to get lost, but far enough. Why? There was no reason. Simply having another around was hard enough, but two? And one she did not know? It was too much.
Of course, she tried her hardest when another stranger appeared, this one much smaller. Settling down with them, she tried to stop the immense shaking that racked her body now, it was embarrassing.
Twice she dozed off, the exaughstion setting in finally. She was yet still embarrassed that she looked different. She did not try to change herself. It just happened like that. Soon she wouldn't be remembered by many at all, memories lately riding on superficiality.
Another sigh, this one more content, calmed down a bit.
(No problem, back for a while at least- IMISSEDYOU)
Well thanks :3 Silence is awesome too...but I've already told you that D8 Shymisseshim. Always thought him and D would get along though, just...never got the chance to be around him much. Was an awkward shot XD Mushrooms prevail!
Do you know who that cute fawn is that has been hanging around Idelle and Darcy? I keep thinking Idelle has played with them before. Either way I do not know who they are and am curious. XD
Sometimes when he isn't feeling quite 'himself' he'll wear the brown pelt...just because he finds the monarch one to be too flashy. Just makes him feel more comfortable in his own skin when he blends in a bit more :3
I was under the impression it was a mutual fight...they kept going after eachother, which makes it pretty hard to defend someone XD' Sorry if that was a mistake though...-sigh-
The merle fawn rears at her stag friend and in a loud, playful, childish voice cries, "Play!" She seems quite pleased with herself at announcing this.
( Sorry Idelle keeps stopping suddenly. My puppy keeps geting into trouble. XD So I have to go save him from his crazy baby ways. Good inspiration for Idelle though if I want her to get into mischief. XD
And will be afk a second. I think the monster needs to potty.)
Poor Darcy. Dinah has no idea what the hell is going on and neither do I. I can start a rp to figure it out, but am super lazy and honestly a little too tipsy to rp. We know Darcy and Era severed their relationship, but what lead up to that? What happened? Is that why Herla hates him?
It's alright...I'm glad you asked ^^ I know it's hard to understand with my lack of updates recently. I just haven't gotten him to a stable place where I feel confident filling them out yet, if you understand...
Herla finds plenty of reasons to hate him lol. They just don't like being in eachothers presence anymore. Darcy has chosen to no longer acknowledge her, but will avoid her if it causes a problem with his friends. He really didn't mean to stress poor Dinah or Ciel out about it XD' Was trying to make the best decision for the group. Alas, he is bad at decisions -chuckle-
As for his involvement with Eraline...that's a loaded explanation =/ But I don't think it's the main reason for Herla's hatred, no. I could still let you know though if you'd like...
Please do! I'm so in the dark about what happened with Darcy and Era. And at first I thought Darcy and Herla were romantically nvolved, when Dinah and Darcy first began positively interacting, actually, which was quite a while a go. Is her pregnancy why the two are no longer on good terms? Am I totally wrong? Probably so.
Well it's a bit muddled, D and Era's relationship. A lot of IC/OOC confusion. Basic strictly IC scenario though, D loved Era like a daughter, which ended up causing him to butt heads with Xetkal and stir up a lot of drama. He also didn't approve of Bishop or Rook so that caused rifts. In the end he argued with Era about it and Xetkal told him to get lost and he decided to get out of her life in order to spare her the drama he always caused. In the end I guess it did more harm than good...
Herla didn't approve of some of the things D did with Eraline so she is a bit angry about that, but I think it's mostly because she doesn't approve of him, period. They used to be good friends, yes...I don't want to get too into the personal details of it but they got close and it didn't work out and Herla's opinion of him has gone downhill ever since for various offenses she feels he's committed against her. He hasn't really been involved much with her since she's been 'official' with Gehirn, and like I said, he just avoids her altogether now. It's nice that Dinah wants to patch up the relationship but I don't see it ever happening XD Darcy just very much disapproves of Herla now, and I don't think she possessed any patience for him either.
What? You don't like the name "Ted"? I thought of calling him George at first but I figured it was over used. Could have always went with Bob too. XD I think Ted is a cute name though.
Ah...was he/she the one by the logs? If so, sorry about that ^^' D's a bit grumpy when he wakes up lol, and didn't like that there were deer in 'his spot' -snort- Don't take it personal DX You didn't do anything wrong.
"You're being strange", she'd point out boldly, "But oh, I knew you couldn't stay away forever", shifted just a bit, idled in brief thought thereafter. "Lucky I've given you the time of day with that ugly mug of yours", the doe spat sharply, "But here we are", she coo'd next, nice and calm, sweet even. "Do tell, where have all of your friends gone?", her eyes halfheartedly moved over their area. Wouldn't be giving him much time to respond before finishing off with a, "Chased them off with that ugly mug of yours, didn't you?".
Stretched out beside her, resting from their...excursions, Darcy merely flicked an elongated ear her way as she spoke. Taunted. He was growing used to it by now and almost found it dull, but the corner of his mouth still twitched, a low chuckle rumbling from deep within his chest. "And you don't change at all," he responded with a half-hearted, almost sing-song sigh. He paused, then finally shifted his head against the ground, gazing up at her with that grin and those narrowed golden eyes. "If I am so detestable, leave. I dare say you'll miss out, though. What I lack in looks I make up for in... style?"
|||||||||| Physical
^^ Hey there. Gus still
Gus still isn't keen on D eh? He has a weakness for fawns it's true ._. And she's a sweetheart. He's injured and not feeling well and he's still doing his best to entertain her ha. Though, he's trying not to get too attached at the same time, as well as not step on her parent's toes.
Haha Gustiro has a strange
But yes, Idelle was very amused. Darcy made her first day in the forest even more exciting and grand. I was rather surprised on how well it went.
Anyway, I better get some sleep. Goodnight.
"Thank you." Eraline whispers
She was very much excited to
As he trotted her way she stood, stretching sore limbs she was still unsteady on.
"Hello Darcy" It was quiet, but full of recognition and warmth.
She was thrilled to see him healthier than how she had left him. Using all four legs again even. His unbridled energy confused and tired her. Poor Darcy, the one time he's healthy and bouncy she's tired and cranky.
"I was afraid no one would remember me. You look much better, by the way. Come sit?"
Nigahiganess? /instant
I was going... erm... track this anyway, you know...
^^;
Hooran: Nigahigawut? XD UM
Fikos:
He stared upon the little doe with wide eyes, full of happiness and yet, uncertainty. There was no mistaking her voice, but could he really be looking at Fikos?
"Of course I remember, you silly thing! And you look...different again," he ventured cautiously, brows flexing in a concerned question he did not ask, "I hardly recognized you."
(Forgive my lack of detail, I'msotired lol. WELCOME BACK?)
A small sigh of relief
When the other deer approached, it boiled over. The stranger and Darcy sat down, and though there was no impending sense of danger, she ran. Not so far as to get lost, but far enough. Why? There was no reason. Simply having another around was hard enough, but two? And one she did not know? It was too much.
Of course, she tried her hardest when another stranger appeared, this one much smaller. Settling down with them, she tried to stop the immense shaking that racked her body now, it was embarrassing.
Twice she dozed off, the exaughstion setting in finally. She was yet still embarrassed that she looked different. She did not try to change herself. It just happened like that. Soon she wouldn't be remembered by many at all, memories lately riding on superficiality.
Another sigh, this one more content, calmed down a bit.
(No problem, back for a while at least- IMISSEDYOU)
Edit: GOTTA GO WRITE 5 PAGE PAPER KTHNKXBYE
Darcy is awesome. So is his
kldsajfsl I'm not going to lie, I laughed out loud at his hobbies.
Well thanks :3 Silence is
Do you know who that cute
No, unfortunately I don't ._.
Quick question... Why isn't
.
Good question! ^^ Sometimes
Sometimes when he isn't feeling quite 'himself' he'll wear the brown pelt...just because he finds the monarch one to be too flashy. Just makes him feel more comfortable in his own skin when he blends in a bit more :3
Seems like a lot more deer
.
Yes I did notice that lol.
I'm waiting for the Orange
Sorry Isa's being so derpy D:
.
oh.mygod. I miss you.
I miss you.
"Thanks Darcy. Thanks for
o.o what was that for?
Dinah's mad he wasn't there
I was under the impression it
Oh it was a very mutual fight
He's a professional screw up
I'm utterly shocked I'm not
The merle fawn rears at her
( Sorry Idelle keeps stopping suddenly. My puppy keeps geting into trouble. XD So I have to go save him from his crazy baby ways. Good inspiration for Idelle though if I want her to get into mischief. XD
And will be afk a second. I think the monster needs to potty.)
Poor Darcy. Dinah has no
Tipsy ftw! XD It's
It's alright...I'm glad you asked ^^ I know it's hard to understand with my lack of updates recently. I just haven't gotten him to a stable place where I feel confident filling them out yet, if you understand...
Herla finds plenty of reasons to hate him lol. They just don't like being in eachothers presence anymore. Darcy has chosen to no longer acknowledge her, but will avoid her if it causes a problem with his friends. He really didn't mean to stress poor Dinah or Ciel out about it XD' Was trying to make the best decision for the group. Alas, he is bad at decisions -chuckle-
As for his involvement with Eraline...that's a loaded explanation =/ But I don't think it's the main reason for Herla's hatred, no. I could still let you know though if you'd like...
Please do! I'm so in the
Well it's a bit muddled, D
Herla didn't approve of some of the things D did with Eraline so she is a bit angry about that, but I think it's mostly because she doesn't approve of him, period. They used to be good friends, yes...I don't want to get too into the personal details of it but they got close and it didn't work out and Herla's opinion of him has gone downhill ever since for various offenses she feels he's committed against her. He hasn't really been involved much with her since she's been 'official' with Gehirn, and like I said, he just avoids her altogether now. It's nice that Dinah wants to patch up the relationship but I don't see it ever happening XD Darcy just very much disapproves of Herla now, and I don't think she possessed any patience for him either.
thanks for explaining. :]
His lack of stability is why
.
Miss Isi has returned, and if
Congrats, Darcy. You just met
Ted 8| Of course.
What? You don't like the name
I kind of thought he looked
lmao!
My actions are messing with
Ah...was he/she the one by
Its totally fine! Hahaa, I
Sent you an MSN invite. Hope
Not at all ^^
Bumping cuz....it's been a
Darcy has a fluffy
-snuggles that butt- 8|
And then suddenly, Darcy out
B| he's good at that....And
Trackitytracktrack
"You're being strange", she'd
Stretched out beside her,