November 27, 2009 - 6:29pm — Seed
((If I throw Seed on more, it won't get added. This entry is about full.))
I awoke and wandered a bit, until I spotted Virgil, and rushed out to meet him. After a bit of frolic, he, for no discernable reason, went first to a pine tree to gather up spells (I was very naked, save for my traditional flowers). I elected to cast antlers on him in return, and when I did, I saw they were the same ones he cast on me. Instantly, the idea of being twins leapt to mind. While we were working on the pelt portion, I heard a sound I recognized. Nevilly, who I haven't seen in what feels like an age.
I'm sorry, Virgil, for running off the way I did. Really: I felt guilty even then, as I dashed off to meet her. But I really wanted to see her -- too often I'll meet someone who I grow to like quickly, and then they vanish, never or rarely to be seen again. I am not letting this happen again if I can help it: and even if I cannot, I think I must strive to make that time for the people I don't see as often, no matter who I may be leaving behind to do so. Is that the right thing to do? I need to ponder this.
Anyway, so I dashed to meet her and we said our hellos. She seemed a little amused at my strange combination of spells, and we worked fairly quickly to rectify this. When we were getting my pelt from a sleeping deer (whose picto I know very well, but whose name, alas, escapes), the deer awoke, giving us both a little start. I always feel emberassed, and uncertain as to what I should do. I bowed a little awkwardly, and he cast a spell on Nevilly before settling back into the mushroom circle. The newly-mini'd Nevilly and I went to find someone else to get pelt spells from. We finished up around the bridge, and began to bound our way alongside the lavender river, turned strange by the reflection of the snowy sky.
The snow fell so peacefully around us as we played, the delicate flakes melting against the warmth of our bodies and the warmth of the ground below us. The earth in the forest stores the heat of all our sunny days and keeps the frost from building up around our hooves, returning that heat back to us. As we went along, she would dart and nuzzle and dart away, making me chase after her to return it. One time, she darted away and hid in a big tree. It wasn't hards to find her, but the tree was too small for me to hide, too. I went and ran towards the Great Oak, thinking of a few spots that I remembered being thick enough to hide even my antlers. We ran into Saosin there, though, and offered our greetings. The world seemed to freeze for a minute, and went I refocused she was walking away and he was gone. I went and rejoined her, and we ended up winding our way, bounding and leaping, darting and chasing one another, to the hills before the ruins. I couldn't help but notice the logs where Payton used to sleep, and they itched in the back of my mind. As I looked away, Nevilly bowed and began to say her goodbyes. I stood by her until she was gone, and then went and stared at that little spot where my mate used to sleep for a long time. I went back to the bridge, resolving to sleep myself. Quamar was sitting atop the bridge, and I went and sat by my upstairs neighbor until I went to sleep and left.
THE SECOND HALF
I awoke again, and heard my nephew -- and his new friend who may very well be a ladyfriend -- playing in the Birch Forest. I went and greeted them, when she dashed off towards Da Drinkplaats. We went and followed -- it was odd. She kept her set, and didn't seem interested in transforming. Did she live in a different perspective of the forest, one without that place? Aleit left just after, and I went to linger by the fountain. I changed into a dove and hovered over the brick fountain, holding the poppies between my wings.
When next I came to the forest, I saw Lemon lying in the woods asleep. I didn't know if she'd be waking up soon or not, but I knew I couldn't leave her alone in the cold. So I went up beside her like I did when she was little and sat next to her, feeling the gentle heat of her still body.
After a while, I saw Aleit again. Did I leave my sister to be with my nephew? After a while, I decided Aleit would notice if I didn't go and see him, and Lemon wouldn't. Aleit was helping out another deer with his or her set, a deer who seemed nameless, but wasn't. I was still there helping that deer long after Aleit had vanished. At first, it was a light and easy task. And then, after a while, with Sir Dag toying at the edges of my vision and Nevilly having just awoken, I could stand it no longer. Feeling guilty and ashamed, I bolted towards the doe I had spent the morning with. I am sorry, stranger. I am sorry for you and for all the strangers who have ever been patient enough to help me. Really.
When I found her beneath the willow trees, we returned to the play of the morning for a small time before being joined by Raffles. We button-mashed for a while, before he ran off in one direction and we ran off in another.
We stood together beneath the snow, each flake as perfect and pristine as a tiny world, as the dreams of a fawn, as a heart. They drifted out of a sky hidden by the branches of trees, slipping through the seemless gaps in the roof of our world. And as each one threatened to hit the ground, it faded from sight and existance. And then she shrunk back and nuzzled me. And it occured to me, very suddenly that... That she cared for me. that I cared for her. That from the moment I had seen her, she had fascinated and inspired me. And, after a little hesitation, I knew I needed to tell her that, at least. But...
but...When I told her this, she ran around as if nothing had happened, or as if overjoyed. My own heart was filled with this -- this newly budded affection, hiding beneath the winter snow -- and with dread. I still love Payton: I know this so certainly. I still love Payton. I know she will not return, but her memory is precious to me. It is as sacred as love to me, or the taste of a beautiful word on the tongue. I feel like I'm dishonoring it, feeling the way I do right now. I'm not being unfaithful -- what we had, beautiful as it was, can never be restored. But...to feel like this, to have put someone else in my heart so quickly...Doing that dishonors that beautiful thing. And so I could not stand near her, and when she vanished suddenly, I could not decide if I was saddened or relieved.
The snow makes the world seem very quiet. I wish I could take some of that quiet and fill my heart with it, smothering everything else.
Vir forgives. ;3 By the way,
By the way, we didn't recognise you at first because your picto was missing.
Good luck with this crush, it'd be good for Seed!Oh, I hate it when that
Thanks ^^ I think for a while there (when he figures it out), it'll be worse, but at least it'll be interesting!So that's what it was. I
I can still only smile how beautifully (sp?) you write about her and their time together. C8
I d-didn't want to i-interrupt anything. I sorry Seed. V-virgil. -blush-
-kicks her back there where she was- Erhm.
Frockled? That may be the
Don't apologize! Really. *ponders* I see Virgil all the time -- there's plenty of opportunities for us to be clones; it may have been interrupted, but the opportunity wasn't lost.
-Dies- I don't even want to
Yeah, The Ruins makes Nev feel a bit blue too. There's on special grave she visits pretty often.
But I hate to see when I interrupt something, it makes me feel like I've stolen attention from others. -smiles-
I might have to make Frockled
...Well, I'm glad you did, regardless.
Pff. damnyou. 8'DD A pair?
A pair? Seed and Nev? SeedPayton?NevRalus? -confused;needssomesleep-
Maybe it should be the best. Nev has mostly bad memories from the Ruins. C8
You're so sweet. -shysmile-
Seed and Nev. Symmetrical
I'm not saying it to be sweet; I say it because it's true. I did have a good time, regardless of what did or did not get interrupted. I look forward to playing with you again.
...I'd say Seed is thick, but this is the sort of conversation he's had with other friends...but gosh, is he full of cute little subconciously-intentional-blindspotness.
I guess they are. C8 And
And that makes you sweet, you always tell the truth, right? I can't wait to see you again. -blush- I.. I'd like to.. Actually. Nothing. -shysmileagain-
Nuu, he's not thick. 8D<3 Baww.
I am bumping up this topic,
Even though my head is dying
And to explain her reaction a bit, she kind of blocked her ears so she couldn't hear what he said to her. She didn't want to hear it because she thought that if she knew something like it, it would only break her heart in the end. Like always.
You're an awesome writer I must say C8
Awww...poor little doe.
Also, thank you. I figure it makes his various gushings/dramaz/rainbow-sprinkle-covered-angst more palatable if, as his emotions increase, his desire to be flowery also increases. Because I find his emotions tasty, like a sundae.