[HUB]
August 27, 2018 - 4:31pm — WayfarerHart
Untitled Headworld Discord (+ Toyhou.se)
This server is my personal space for musings and world-building. It will also be functioning as a central location for future offspring channels, families who reside within my head-world, and other things. There are also intentions to host events now and then that will bring in and mix as many characters as possible, opening interactions and hopefully mutually benefiting all participants in expanding their OC's circles.
How to get to the TH Page is accessible via Discord.
People should feel free to come and go as they please, and I hope this place is convenient for all those who have ties to my musings, and over the top need for organisation!
Toyhou.se
Discord: Vee#1329
Rotating signature made here
Signature arts by: Saturnia, Aihnna, J!n, Kamaya, & Vessan
Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.
- W. S. Merwin
Good riddance to bad rubbish
Suck it up. I've hurt people
Someone who drives drunk is
You were sober and 100% aware of your actions.
You are not the victim in this situation. Stop playing like you are. You caused life-altering harm to multiple people. You are being held accountable for your actions. We as a community are telling you to leave.
@Uitleger Take some flipping
Take some flipping accountability for what you've done and stop distorting the facts, you vile prick. Better yet, read the room and realize you do not, nor will you ever have a place here again.
Get help away from this community, away from the people you've hurt and those you'd think to harm in the future, and don't come crawling back with your gross attempts at a redemption you don't deserve.
Fuck off.
Not the kind of thing that
Aivilo summed it
Learning to take responsibility for your actions and accepting consequences is pretty basic, decent human being stuff. Your callous response is extremely upsetting.
those words are few and are
Yeah, we know that one, even a rat will fight once it's been chased into the corner.
It doesn't take a college degree to see that your statement is utter, god tier bullshit. How very bold of you to assume we don't know what you did, that's for sure -- or the manipulative tactics that you used, and, as you're showing off here, are still reliant on in a desperate fight to gain whatever it is that you may think you're justified in gaining. Fucking audacity, man.
I've ignored your existence
Seconded. Ever since I found out I've felt like a coward. This guy has intentionally cultivated a lot of social credibility over the years here. It's a relief to see him figuratively set himself on fire, finally.
karame, The last time we
The last time we spoke, which was 5 years ago in 2018, we talked extensively about what happened and I supported you, sided with you, and answered any questions that you had for me. Five years ago, I initially defended who I thought was a friend (I was under the impression at the time that he didn't know you were a minor and you initiated without revealing your age until later), but Uit and I aren't friends, and we have zero contact. I don't support what he has done. That quote about hookup culture was before I knew the situation myself, thinking the interactions were between two consenting adults. It was said in the very beginning of our exchange (specifically, it was the 22nd message in October 2018), and doesn't reflect our conversations on Discord in their entirety. I even apologized to you, opened up to you about very intimate and vulnerable details about my own personal life and experiences, and we continued chatting well into December of that same year. We talked for two months after as if everything was fine. I haven't heard anything from you since. I only found out that my name was mentioned here because there was a message on the TEF server alarming everyone of what was happening, so I stopped by to check TEFc. I would have gladly continued chatting with you (or anyone else that needed it) and discussing this further, even all these years later.edit:
I reread our messages in Discord... It looks like my apology, support, and even my empathy throughout our conversations were framed under the impression that the problem was that Uit was talking to multiple people at once, which was not the case at all. The reality is that Uit was talking to minors, and you were one of the people he manipulated and took advantage of. I jumped to Uit's defense under the wrong idea in 2018 thinking he was my long-standing friend since high school. I don't stand by what he has done, and I'm sorry my words stayed with you and affected you all of these years. I'm sorry.
Uit, if you truly want to
This was not an apology, if you still actively target and communicate with minors with the same intents, even with breaks between and saying you’ve returned as a redemption attempt. This is not an attempt at changing/apologising. You owed all of these people closure first.
Edit: thank you to trmnlsystm for mentioning those terms… sending support to everyone here
I did owe them closure. I
I won't harm people and this place by staying here/in the game any longer. Thank you all for your input (no sarcasm intended)
Thank you people for writing
Uitleger, don't speak of intent here, it does not matter in the slightest. It's clear that you don't act by anything but your own selfishness - coming back here was a selfish act, not speaking up about your actions was just pure gall and callous behavior. You're incapable of spewing anything else but selfish shit that saves face and tries to twist things into something entirely insane. And I know you won't get help, you're stubborn as a mule. You might go to some other community, or linger around under other pictos, just stay the hell away from this place.
Your sorry means nothing. The very fact that you returned here without a PSA and reachning out to any of us speaks more than any apology ever could.
//edit// a foolproof tip for you though: stop choosing the coward's way.
Quote:We as a community are
I'd like to exclude myself from this statement.
The reason why Uit thought his returning might do good to the community is because he had and still has friends here who have no issues with him and can testify that he's been nothing but kind and helpful to them throughout the years. For that matter, you can all, to a certain extent, hold me accountable for his return, as I once told him (and that's true) that everything I'd ever done within this community was mostly inspired by his continuous support of this game and the efforts he'd been putting into making this site live. I also really missed him when he left, because while he was away, I didn't see many people actively interacting here on the site. And I'm still sad to see that some get active only when it comes to drama.
With all my respect to the feelings of those several people who'd been hurt, Uit's crude jokes and inappropriate drawings happened years ago. Since then I've never seen him approach any of those people who asked him to leave them alone, or anyone who didn't welcome his company. He doesn't use Discord, so all his current interactions are here on the site, public and transparent. If you were worried about others that much, you could always make sure there was nothing criminal going on.
Anyway, if people are upset by merely seeing his picto/username online, well, I'm deeply sorry that it's come to this. In this case, I guess, this is no more a place for those who are still glad to see it.
Hope everyone involved will feel better now.
Signature © Draak
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(oh, that's my first and last
and lastdouble post, sorry!)Signature © Draak
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Considering that a lot of
Considering that a lot of this occurred over Email, and not Discord, I don't think this statement applies:
Even if he weren't forcing his presence upon his victims, he can still keep his interactions off the com site, away from eyes and voices that might pipe up.
He does not get that trust.
His friends can Email him.
Ursch, I know you're coming from a place of kindness, but he does not need to be here. Imagine you have a bully in school who sexually abuses you. You finally graduate and get your dream job. And then they hire your bully and he is now in a high position and is good friends with your boss. Do you feel safe? Do you feel comfortable? Do you feel like you can speak up about what happened to you and ask your boss to fire his friend? Do you invite your bully over for beers and let him hang out in the other room with your child because - hey - that sexual abuse was years ago!
NO. Absolutely not.
And yet that is what you are doing to these people. That is what you are asking them to endure, and you are telling them they are wrong for feeling otherwise.
I know you are a better person than that.
Let him go.
With all my respect to the
It's hard for me to see any sort of respect for the victims from yourself when you defend him like this. It doesn't matter when this happened, how long ago, the fact is it that it happened and that people didn't feel like they could even speak up about it til now - and it still affects people now, and may well be for a long time. People defending him is one of the reasons why I didn't dare speak up sooner. Please don't.
I can't even word what I want to say properly (thx 4 hours of sleep) but I have to put this here. It is honestly a punch in the gut to see any of this defended or excused
"can testify that he's been
The fact that you're faced with all of this information and reacting with what "good" he did is just disappointing. It's shocking how you can, without a hitch continue to support someone who behaved this way just because of the fun that you had with him, and the positivity he contributed with to the community. It is true that he keeps the community active in the old ways that are so sweet and precious, but if you ask me, I'd rather have the community dynamics change than have someone like this be the one to welcome newbies and interact with people without them knowing what he did. Saying it again. Decade old age differences. I'm not one to govern who does what, he would be free to stay and you're free to continue your relationship with him, but I'll say, it says a lot.
The fact that all you're thinking about here is criminality is sad. After all - if he can't be arrested for it and if he's been good to others, all that vile shit he did years ago doesn't matter, huh.
And calling this drama is just averting focus from what matters. This attitude is exactly what's keeping people from coming out about being hurt and exploited.
The damage done by sexual
Defending someone who has left such deep and lasting scars on not only one individual, but several, is not a show of respect to their feelings and what they have endured.
I recognize that there can be good in horrible people. I recognize that everyone, even the worst, can grow and change. That does not mean they are owed the forgiveness of their victims or a blind eye from those who are repulsed by their actions.
What is happening here is not drama and should not be framed as something petty. It is a show of self-defense and preservation that is long overdue.
Urschanabi, You're
You're prioritizing your feelings and the feelings of a pedophile over the comfort and safety of his past and potential future victims. You need to take a good hard look in the mirror and begin to understand just how damaging your continued support for this predator is.
Those of us who have known about Uitleger's ways for a very long time but could not speak up in fear of causing further harm to his victims had hoped that you maintained this friendship with him out of obliviousness to his ways, (of course, I can only speak for the people I maintain personal contact with,) but it is clear now that this is not the case.
You've played with myself and my partner many times over the past few years. Looking back on those interactions now knowing what kind of person you've revealed yourself to be makes me sick. Please stay away from the both of us from now on.
I hope you gain some empathy for the lives the pedophile has permanently damaged in the future.
Using the words 'crude jokes'
Maybe you feel like it's hard to lose a friend and would rather not- still, It's not a good look.
When I read it this morning,
When I read it this morning, I felt... Really bad.
My health had taken a huge hit in the last few months, which made it impossible for me to be as active in the TEF as I used to be, and now... Now I... Don't even know? It's like in addition to the physical decline, there's also a moral decline, which is literally pushing me out of here and it's so... So unfair. TEF has become home to me, with its problems, conflicts, yes, it happens, it's normal, there are problems everywhere, but I... I never thought that I would encounter such a terrible event here.
I offer my sincere condolences to those who are now going through an even greater nightmare, remembering all the terrible events.
I still don't want to accept it all, God, I so stubbornly don't want to accept all these things...
I'm so sorry that all this has happened in our little community, sorry for the people who have lived through it and sorry for those who don't know how to feel now...
I don't have much to say, I'm
I'm proud of all you guys for standing up for yourselves against such a vile human after the suffering you've been put through, you all have my outmost support and love in these times.
As for Uit and even Ursch, shame on you both for the way you are dealing with this.
Disgusting.
Urschanabi Its come to my
Its come to my attention that you're continuing to defend a literal pedophile in the Russian TEF server.
Because of this, I've had to remove your server from the affiliates in ours. You are also on our automatic ban list.
There is no excuse for your appalling complacency and disrespect to the victims of a very serious situation.
In hindsight I think my response is too harsh. This is a hard hitting situation, and I'd understand if you're reeling from the shock. That being said there's going to be a need for time and amends. I hope you can do the right thing, even though it's the more difficult thing to do.
Horrifying, that something
Just want to voice my support to all those who have spoken up, and to those who remain silent. You are not alone. Your feelings are valid. This community has your back.
Just wanna bring up the whole
I'm not the greatest with words when it comes to stuff like this but coming from experience it can take a long long time to get over the shock and disbelief. I still struggle with it years after I learned about the thing someone I considered a close friend did to my friends behind my back while I was never subjected to it. It's hard to process when you yourself weren't faced with it and I still can't get over something like that happened. You might feel weird about it and I figure it's normal with your brain trying to process it.
The best thing you can really do is console in your friends and such and be surrounded by those who share your opinion
and not behave like a certain individual.@Urschanabi > “...Uit's
> “...Uit's crude jokes and inappropriate drawings happened years ago.”
This doesn’t mean anything. Someone before mentioned that he was in his mid twenties when they approached them when they were fourteen. At that point, you don't even have the argument that your frontal lobe isn’t developed to “not understand” what someone is doing. I’ve witnessed drug addicts high on fentanyl who knew what the fuck they were doing. This guy was completely sober.
You, and everyone who still blindly consider themselves his friend, have FAILED at both being friends and human beings for not speaking up about, and against, such deplorable actions when you know they’re happening. Speak up and call people out for their shit. Don’t just shrug and continue on about your day. You should have enough of a friendship with this person to be able to call them out for the shit they do and not be afraid of backlash. And even if you did get backlash, so what? You remove them from your life and find better people. Simple as that.
Smfh.
I feel this is a good
I warned Ravyn and Jettem about your sick-minded ass years ago too many times than I can count and they never heeded my warnings, and I only hope my warnings didnt fall on deaf years too little too late about your perverse ways with others.
You deserve everything thats coming to you.
Utterly deplorable. My
-Similarly, as with the hub discord, the Spring Rally & Rut event servers are off-limits to those who continue to support Uitleger or downplay his actions.
throughout the years i've
but this is outraging
@Urschanabi
i am taken aback by your response
you always talked fondly about Uit but how could you ignore what has been said here?
OK, so I had to step aside a
Didn't wanna read it at first, because well, it's private things and everything has already been said. But I ended up opening the link and I've gotta say, it wasn't quite what I expected to see.
Definitely hadn't seen the gravity of the situation before, and I'm very sorry now for having hurt people's feelings with my hasty comment.
It also wasn't the best idea to stay up all night and comment in the morning after a whole sleepless night of stress (which of course is nothing compared to the stress that those involved must be undergoing). When it all started, I was so overwhelmed by the amount of hatred and angry comments here, I couldn't clearly see the cool facts behind it all. The evidence really helped bring light to what it was all about. I'm grateful to karame, but also awfully sorry that it took her sharing such deeply peronal things for me to understand the situation better.
So yeah, sorry about the 'crude jokes' and stuff, I've seen now that it wasn't just that.
This type of behaviour is by no means acceptable, and I want to apologize to everyone who might have concluded from my previous comment that I thought it was ok to do things like that.
Will be staying away from here for some time, hopefully everyone will feel better now.
P.S.: Oh, and just to avoid throwing a shadow on anybody else:
- the Russian server is not mine, it belongs to Collado, she's the owner;
- I used to be one of the mods there, but I am no longer since today;
- anything I've posted here is my personal opinion and does not in any way represent the server or anyone associated with it except myself.
Signature © Draak
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Matthew Hi. After a lot of
Hi. After a lot of discussion about your past behaviours ongoing even in recent years, the lies, the manipulation, all of the bullshit abusive tactics you’ve employed, and the uncannily familiar narcissistic way you talk - you act and sound just like Uit btw, and have treated people with the same kind of vile sleaze. We all think you should fuck right off too <3
^^^
I have nothing more to add to
Wish so much of my time and care wasn't wasted on you and your lies.
Matt, I’m…. So
Part of me wishes I had the energy to be angry, but I’ve poured enough of my energy into your pit of lies so… I’m just going to bed, man.
I am deeply saddened to see
My heart goes out to the victims and thank you for the bravery in speaking up - it is an incredibly difficult thing to do and shows just how strong you are.
Please take care, everyone.
This was... Gross to come
No words, just here to wish everyone affected by this creep all the best, no one deserves to go through that shit