May 4, 2010 - 10:19pm — MidnightShadows
When I was around eight years old, Layla died. She was a bouncy but gentle, black labrador, who was my best friend I had and have had. She was only five when it happened, and we had known each other since I was three. I took her for walks every moment I could, and I loved her incredibly, although she belonged to my neighbor. As I got older, school took over, and my parents only allowed me to take her for walks on the weekends, if at all. The last time I saw her was when she escaped from her house, and I saw her romping around in the back garder, out of my bedroom window. We hurried her back home, not realising we would never see her again.
I'm not sure if she knew, somehow, what was going to happen, whether it was a goodbye. Whatever it was, I took no notice then. I didn't even say 'bye' or 'love you'. I walked away. Still, after so many years, I am still mourning. I dont think I ever got over her death. I never let it sink in. I'm always hoping, that it was all a bad dream. That Layla, the bouncy black labrador, will appear in my back garden again.
You dont have to read it, I just needed to tell someone about her, how much I miss her.
(No subject)
I didn't think I'd find
My best friend now and forever, my dog Aki, died in April, and even now I still cry from the pain of the choice I made to put him to sleep. The "what if"s run through my head; "what if I'd chosen to keep his support going?"; "what if I'd been out there with him to protect him?" It's a terrible feeling. He was the puppy I'd hand raised, the puppy I'd fed milk to with a bottle, the mutt who I helped avoid the shelter.
It's horrible not being able to say 'goodbye,' and it kills to know that you'll never see them romping ever gain, you won't see them greeting you when you go home. You wake up and think they're there, but it's all an illusion.
But to me, honestly they never leave. Even if you can't see them, they're always there, protecting you and loving you as they did in life. For me, even though I may never move on from his death and I'll probably feel the guilt for the rest of my life, I know that Aki's in a better place, away from the pain and suffering he was in from his accident. I don't know the circumstances of the passing of Layla, but I know that even if you don't believe in ghosts or in a religion, she'll never forget you, wherever she is. If you do, just remember that all dogs go to heaven.
I hope that I could help you even though my experience was recent and I don't really know how to cope with mourning, but... I dunno, words are tough. It's good that you let it out instead of keeping it to yourself, and I'm kind of glad I could get it out too. This was my own two cents, hope no one minds.
@MoonlitStar/Dannii:
@Kenryoku: Of course I dont mind. The choice you had to make about her life must have been terrible. All we know is that Layla and Aki will be in doggy heaven, watching down on us. <333
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