nov. 10 '22 // hello everybody! my thoughts all over the place rn but i just wanna talk it out?
for that 5 years of being silent here i always at least once a year went there to check for new posts, pictures, look at my old art and ocs. yesterday i actually downloaded the game and as i was checking my characters i realised that i FORGOT LOTS AND LOTS OF IN GAME STUFF you know like how to reveal your pelt on mini deer, spells and all of that. i know that like nobody supposed to remember those things over the years, but i got so offended of myself like "come on that's the common knowledge!" and the fact that i forgot lots of that stuff made me real sad AHAHA maybe it's too much but it is how it is eh
i mean that game with my characters were there for the half of my life and i forget things that is so precious to me? feels almost like a betrayal... i hope i will make it up to myself, maybe being here more often will help with that
here comes actually the next problem - the lack of time. that's the reason i dissapeared actually and here is the timeline from 2018: school started getting hard; severe events occurred in my life; after all that the pandemic happened during which i moved across the country; got to college, graduated and got a job for a gap year that traumatised me mentally; got to uni and having lots of trouble studying; facing my mental illnesses not being able to get help... however, i'll try to look at future with hope and optimism <3 it gets better, i know for sure

i think i deviated from the topic huh
anyways, i will try to be here more often, despite the fact that for years of being online here i wasn't like standing out or being socially active on community OR in game always been just watching other people which isn't a bad thing actually. i have always had a social anxiety that makes it impossible for me to express myself and communicate, but little by little i'm working on myself and i want to adjust these things just to make it easier for me and other people of course. i adore all the members of this community, the most interesting, creative and kind people i have ever met in my life. it is a truly amazing phenomenon and i adore it with all my heart... I MAY BE A LITTLE BIT EXTRA RN OMG it's 2 am and i'm sleepy and emotional heh
i guess i should go to bed, thanks to the people who read this nonsense