too late to beg you or cancel it
though I know it must be the killing time
I've thought about killing her before.
It would bring my enemies down in one fell swoop. It would be the worst thing I could do to them, and they would spend the rest of their lives hating me for it, burning in frustration and pain. Even if they killed me in return, it would not bring her back, and by killing me they'd set me free. I would win either way. They would hate me, they would hate themselves, and deep down they would hate her for not listening to them. It would be the ultimate victory.
My original intent was to do just that. Gain the child's trust, and eventually, take her from them. But at some point, I must have changed my mind, and thought I could just take her away figuratively; slowly make her turn against her mother, and come to me instead. And through this, I ended up feeling something for this little thing, this...creature. I ended up feeling as if I had to protect her from the world. I had to make her see that I wasn't dangerous, too, because she was the only one save for Cypher that would ever believe it.
Now I feel like I have to protect her from myself. What if I snap, and lunge for her? What if the urge to get back at her family is too strong, and drives me to hurt her? If I killed her, then it would be easier, for she would not be there to be...betrayed by me. But if she survived, and had to live knowing what I had done...I couldn't risk it. I can't.
They're going to do their damn well best to drive her away from me. They think I'll slip up, let her see I'm one of the bad guys. I won't. They can attack me and push me and tell her what they like. She's never seen me do wrong to anyone without reason. All she's seen is her family attacking me over something I did a long time ago, something I apologised for and tried to rectify.
Well, they can have fun driving her off. I'll be waiting.
Awh. ;; I love your writing,
I love your writing, so very much. ♥
asdf you ;u; ♥