I now have in my possession a jar full of black river stones. The stones are all of various shapes and sizes, and alone are nothing more than simple stones, but collectively within the jar, they are heavy. It is a burden to carry the jar with these stones.
The stones will represent different aspects of me - negativity, guilt, grief, burden, hatred, anger, sorrow...
My journey over the summer will be to relieve these stones from the jar. Taking them with me as well as my camera, I will find a place to meditate, leaving one or a few stones there. The stones left will be a removal of these dark feelings I've had, and step by step I will empty out the suffering I have been causing to myself and to all of you. Where I go, I will bring along my mala (Buddhist prayer beads) and my camera, where I will take a picture of the place I have left the stone only as a memory of the journey. By the end of this project, I will have collected a gallery of various places where I have left my suffering and gained more peace.
The places are seemingly endless. I have a few thoughts so far, and will list them here:
- The Botanical Gardens
- Chickasabough Park in Prichard, AL
- Blakely State Park in Baldwin County (Civil War battlefield)
- The Cathedral
- The boardwalk near Spanish Fort, AL
- The nature trail at my college
- Bayfront Park on the way to Dauphin Island
- Dauphin Island beach
- Mobile Zoo or Gulf Coast Zoo
-
Indian Shell Mound Park
-
5 Rivers Center
-
Environmental Studies Center
- A place to have a cup of tea with Mom
- Various places I remember Dad or my cousin at.
Below I will post pictures from each place. So please feel free to track for now.
5/31/11 -
Shamrock, Rose, and Thistle
5/29/11 -
Laun Park
6/12/11 - Botanical Gardens -
Sage,
St. Francis,
Meeting Place,
Japanese Maple
6/14/11 - Dauphin Island -
Bayfront Park Sign,
Bayfront Park Trees,
Indian Shell Mounds,
Beach 
What a wonderful idea Quad! I
This is a cool idea. =D
What an amazing idea! I wish
Going to my first place today
The reason why I have chosen Laun Park is because I've already begun to forget my memories with Dad. I feel guilt for forgetting even little things about him, since it's been almost a year since he died.
I think this is a fantastic
5/29/11 - Laun Park, the
Laun Park, the start of my journey. Fitting that it would be a park walkway, the cement slabs in the ground on a fixed path. Much like the cycle of life, though often the walk ends abruptly.
For my Dad, I hope the path continues.
I chose Laun Park to begin my journey because it is a special place that few people know about. It's located within a neighborhood, my Dad's postal route to be exact. Daily he would come here for his lunch break, sitting in his Post Office van eating his lunch. I nearly forgot what he usually took for lunch, too - a turkey sandwich with mayonnaise on it. I fixed his lunch sometimes.
On the path I left five stones, one for each of us - my mom, dad, two brothers, and myself. The stones are in the shape of a "T" for my dad's name, Tommy. They are there beside each other for a specific purpose, to remind me that we're all still together no matter where we go.
My dad passed away last year, and before that, my brother moved to Georgia. It won't be long before I leave this house myself, seeking my own life. My middle brother as well, he will be married this year and is looking for his own house. Our home has slowly diminished from five members to three, and very soon it will be one.
But despite that, we're still together. It may seem like we've been through hell and back, but no matter what, one truth remains clear - we all love each other. My family is lucky for this, we may have our disagreements and occasional fights, but we still love and support each other, and we are inseparable.
Today I left behind five stones - one for each of us. I also left behind some of my sorrow at that park, and took the time to remember Dad. I may still feel guilty for forgetting little things about him, but that will be something I'll need to work on at a later time.
It's beautiful, Quad. Thank
I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet
I hope this helps, Quad.
5/31/11 - After working in
After working in our yard some thing morning, my Mom decided to surprise me with lunch at a place called the Shamrock, Rose, and Thistle. It is a European-style tea house, someone's dream made into a reality. There was a courtyard outside of the place where Mom and I walked around for a moment, and it was here where we learned something amazing - the ground we stood on once was an old gas station. They literally transformed this place into a lovely little garden and house for their business.
Dreams really do come true.
While we wandered in the garden, we found a fountain, and here was where I placed my stones for the day.
I chose seven small stones, representing the seven deadly sins - wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. I admit I have a little of each sin in my being, some more than others, but here, I wanted to reflect on them.
The black stones lay under the water, to be washed by the gentle trickle of the fountain. This process of cleansing and purifying will take much time, much like water eroding away stone, but this is to be expected. Time heals all. I only hope that by the end of my life, these stones...these vices...are cleansed from that which makes me.
We had our lunch at the wonderful little place, and upon leaving, I thought about the business. I have seen this before, a place someone started to share a part of them with the world. The family-owned restaurant and gas station in Llano, TX...and the coffee shop and art gallery owned by an artist in Taos, NM...a few examples of those who have found their place and are sharing their vision. I now see that even I can fulfill my dreams. Nothing is impossible.
When I returned home, I was surprised to find one of the stones remained in my pocket...
I then realized I dropped six stones into the fountain, not seven. What does this mean? Am I holding back? Is there one of the deadly sins that is affecting me so much that I cannot let it go so easily?
Relax. Breathe. This is nothing to be worried about. Perhaps it has no meaning. Perhaps I simply did not realize the stone was still there when I dropped the others in.
This stone simply did not belong in the fountain. It was not the place for it yet. But if this wasn't the place, then where?
Is this stone a metaphor for me? Did it choose not to go because it didn't want to be part of the crowd? Is it trying to resemble the person I am - free from stereotypes, free from being normal, free from being nobody?
Little stone, I'll find somewhere special just for you.
No new update yet, but Mom
So I'll be able to expand my ideas from there.
I'm so glad your family
I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet
6/12/11 - My meditation
My meditation journey led me to the Botanical Gardens today. I grabbed a handful of my stones and set out into the place to leave them, though not all in the same area. I chose four places to leave stones here, so this meditation is in four parts:
In the herb garden, I found a section for 'spiritual' herbs. Among them was one I felt was fitting for my journey - sage. Sage is an important herb in many Native American cultures, as it is used for cleansing purposes and is considered sacred. Upon reading more about this herb, I find a particular sentence intriguing:
"Today, sage is often used for those who are seeking balance and pure thought, spirit and body."
This sounds exactly like my goal in these meditations. This herb reflects my journey very well.
I left three stones here - one to pray for myself, one to pray for all human beings, and one to pray for all living creatures. May we all find balance and pure thought, spirit and body.
Also in the herb garden was a statue of St. Francis of Assisi, one of my favorite saints as he is associated with admiration for animals. So to pay my respects to St. Francis, I left three stones on his statue. There are two distinct reasons why I left three stones here. In the first, the three stones represent my three pets - Brandy the dachshund, Boo the poodle, and Misty the persian. I leave the stones there to pray to St. Francis to watch over my loving pets. But the stones could be taken in another direction, all three for Quad in his three forms - antelope, wolf, and tiger. Perhaps both. It is with deep gratitude to find the statue in the garden, the saint being a man who not only was devoted to God, but loved nature and the creatures of the Earth. I think we can really learn from him.
The third place I chose was this area, deeper into the gardens. While I do not know what the significance of this place is, I used it as my place to meditate the strongest. I placed 21 stones here in the shape of Quad's pictogram, and then sat on one of the benches nearby. I brought a mala (prayer beads) with me, and began to chant my mantra, So Hum. While doing so, I saw Quad Wolf appear, walking down one of the paths, his eyes never leaving mine. He walked slowly, rounding one of the pillars, then approaching me. He sat before me, and I wanted to reach out and pet him but I was too afraid to. He spoke softly to me, "Stay strong. I know you can."
A man and a lady were walking by a moment later, and when I looked back, Quad was gone.
I had two more stones in my pocket, so I decided to choose one tree to leave them under. I chose this one, acer palmatum or the Japanese Maple. Here I left the last two stones, one stone symbolizing my worries for the past, the other symbolizing my worries to the future. I will remember this tree, I will remember that I will live only in the present. The tree will keep that which I am ashamed of from my past, and will keep that which I am afraid of from my future.
Just live in the present moment. Live like a tree. Don't worry about the past or the future, just live and thrive today.
This is such an awesome idea
Thanks, I'm having a lot of
6/14/11 - Today's meditation
Today's meditation took me on the drive to Dauphin Island, AL. On the way there, I stopped at a place called Bayfront Park.
Six stones before this sign, no particular reason for the number. I chose this sign because it displays the various animals in our bay, in particular, the brown pelican. The pelican is one of my favorite birds and a symbol of the gulf. These stones are here in honor of the animals in my area, especially the ones affected by the oil spill.
In another part of this park was a different boardwalk. I placed four stones here in the shape of a V, pointing off into the direction of nature. These stones are to remind me of what I want to do with my life - serve the environment, protect nature, save the world. My goals will soon be in my grasp, I just need to believe in myself.
The next stop was on Dauphin Island - a place I had never been to before called the Indian Shell Mound Park. It unfortunately was deep in the woods on the island so when I walked in I was constantly bombarded with insects.
A pile of stones was left here on one of the benches near the mound. The stones here are in remembrance of the natives who lived here, in a place that seems forgotten by those who drive by. To my Native brothers and sisters, I honor you.
When leaving, I saw two butterflies fly by. It was a beautiful sight and I took it to be nature's way of thanking me for the visit.
My final stop was the beach on Dauphin Island near Fort Gaines. It wasn't a particularly pretty day, but I enjoyed going. There were many hermit crabs that had washed up onto the beach, and from that, I was able to get some nice pictures of them. In fact, I am doing a project that will show those photos. I learned a lesson at the beach today, a life experience of a famous Zen and Buddhist teaching. That will be posted later in the month.
I threw the stones into the ocean, so they could be lost in the waves much like my cares today.
Today's meditation taught me that as a community, we can recover after disasters such as the gulf oil spill. Never see anything as the end or as failure...but rather, see it as outcome. See it as an opportunity to grow. See it as an opportunity to learn from our mistakes.
I am especially drawn in to
I want to live my life as a tree, sending down roots, providing shelter, and existing in the flow of infinite time as a creature always simultaneously growing and dying, hibernating and blooming back to life a little bigger than before.
I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet
Interesting post, and
Im going to track this**
I'm also going to track
it's really nice
maybe I'll do this one day :3