Well, it's been asked several times... who Toxic's secret love it. It's not the best of stories, and it's something that I was trying to figure out how to work with for a bit and then things seemed to flow. Toxic's guilt has gotten to him, he's drifting down the Mental Drain fast because of things that he knows he's done (From hurting Nathan to hurting Ceyln) he's been feeling so down that nothings been fully capable of cheering him up. Except for one thing...

This is for Arri, I'm sorry it's not the best @.@ I'll try and do better later sweetie <3 *much love*

For those curious, Estellan is my Birthday Gift (As well as Toxic's) From the wonderfully Talented Arri, and thus... in the end, ultimately, Estellan became more than enough to heal Toxic's broken heart and give him the push he needed to fight his illness and infection.



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Music Playlist at MixPod.com

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The rain had all but ceased when the dawn soon broke the horizon. Lifting his head, thick black bags under golden markings on his face Toxic sighed out softly. His ears laid down... his mind wasn't at ease. So much was hurting him, but there was one major truth... he had something to live for, something to fight for... someone to call a love. Moving along he was going to wait for the gentle voice to come into his head. To wait for that lovely giggling he came to love and know oh so well.

The night pelted stag was nowhere near the Oak, not near anywhere that would draw a lot of attention and soon his ears flicked up quickly as he smiled a soft smile when the young fawn was galloping his way. Lowering his head he nuzzled into the other softly, lovingly... before the young figure of a young man was in front of him. Another gentle nuzzle as he moved around "I was waiting for you..."

His voice was gentle, something that hadn't graced anyone ears for the weeks of suffering he'd been going through. Deciding to stay in his stag like figure Toxic moved along side the young lad as he continued his walk, glancing up at the skies. Luckily, this time his companion doned clothing, unlike previous times "Winters coming... the ruts over but yet... I'm pained... I'm hurting..."

"Why?"

That musical voice was something that Toxic always enjoyed to hear. Leaning close he sighed out, eyes softening in a hurt expression "I've lost so many friends that I've held dear to me... and at what cost?"

"You have me though..."

Toxic nuzzled into the other more as he sighed deeply ears lowered to show his hurting emotions, he moved slowly with a heavy heart "I have you, and I love you... you're my precious gift. My reason for moving away from all that ills me but... before you... I hurt those I showed love and care for. Those of which I called my friends, they... they likely hate me now Estellan."

His attention turned to the lad, sighing softly before he shifted, and gently pulled the boy close, nuzzling into his shoulder as he shivered some, the biting cold of winter hitting softly "I don't want to lose them, and I don't want to lose you... I know it'll hurt me in the end... but I want to apologize to those that I have hurt."

"Why... can't you?"

"Because I'm afraid... I'm so afraid to go up to them. To go see them, I'm afraid that even after I apologize they will simply throw me away..." Toxic frowned, nestling more into Estellan's shoulder as he let out a soft noise, a mixture of a whine and a hurt sound. Feathers covering his features, hiding the tears that were slowly dripping down his chin.

"No be sad..." Estellan frowned, hugging a bit closer to Toxic as he gently nestled into the others body, enjoying that warmth the other stag gave off. "No be sad, I'm yours... I'll be with you always."