Don't kill me Maji *hides under a rock as a squirrel* I dun mean to be mean or write angsty things D=

Theres a meaning behind this. Toxic, within the last few weeks of his illness has gone off the deep end. His feelings are so rattled that he doesn't see anyone as his friends besides a select few... and in his mind... Nathan abandoned him completely. He feels betrayed slightly, but it hurts him big time to just brush Nathan off like this. He really does care for Nathan greatly.

But, a hardened heart has made him colder and more prone to shove those who really care for him away. For those who don't get the Reference at the end of this... it's a quote from LOVELESS in FF7:CC XD Maybe Toxic could be saying that as he's walking off? I'm not sure... I will say... this was quite fun to type despite the fact that I was almost in tears typing it... it hurt me to type it actually.

Nathan can mend things with Toxic... yes, he can... but it's likely going to take some time. Rather, a really long time. There's a few things that mean a lot in here.

Why was Toxic tearing up the flowers? Nathan has the purple flowers wrapped in his antlers... Toxic, was taking his anger and pain out on the flower bed. So if he's randomly doing this in game you know why 8D I shouldn't be allowed to type stories at 3am ^^;;;;;;;;;;

Man I always find little things that urk me... sorry for editing this so many times @@ And if anyone reads it feel free to leave feedback. Just don't get all D< RAWR at me >_>;;;;; I type what I feel at times. And I type stories out of random... XD



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Illness, the weakness of those who are seen as old... infection, a deadly death to many who fall victim to it. I fell victim to both, I fell into a pit, and went spiraling out of control. Those whom I thought were dear to me have all but abandoned me... those, whom I called friends.

A bitter sigh escaped cold lips as the night pelted stag shook the thick layer of snow that coated his fur... red eyes all but lifeless and dull at first glance. Anyone who would have seen him laying there moments ago would have called him a goner. Say it isn't worth him fighting his sickness and the infection that plagues him but... something has given the stag his will to battle... to get better in time for the winter months.

Another shake and slowly... very slowly... he pushed himself up onto those thin legs, painful as it was. A stretch, muscles quivering under the strain of his body and soon, he stumbled to a side... hitting the ground with a grunt... eyes dulling slightly. No, he was fighting this, he had to get up! Legs kicking out frantically... he righted himself and... was back up again. Head raising as he stumbled again but caught himself from falling. Glancing to a side his ears laid back slightly... and he sighed "Abandoned... I knew it was too good to be true... there's no such thing as friends in this place..."

It was rare to hear Toxic's voice, elegant and soothing... to sound so... so bitter. Pawing at the ground, the flowers... purple and gorgeous as they were... torn into crumples as he sniffed some, there were tears in his eyes as he shook his head harshly trying to drive back the tears that were gently weeping down his chin. Rearing up the night pelted stag slammed his hooves down more, tearing the flowers apart... butterflies quickly rushing out of his way, cold as they were... most were dieing anyway. The flowers were wilting, clear signs of the winter to come but he continued... ramming his head into them... tangling purple buds in his feathers and the nubs of antlers as he screamed out sharply.

"WHY!? Why did they abandon me!? Everyone of them!" He yelled out, glaring towards the heavens as those red eyes showed pain... tears starting to wet his thick fur coat "You torment me! You always have... a promise of friends... and then, when I managed to get some you rip them away!" His body was quivering and he tumbled down again in a heap... flower buds and snow flipping up around him as he grunted. And he lowered his head down, Toxic felt miserable... only a few who he considered friends ever saw him... "The gods... they gift me with something but for what... I've lost all my friends... every last one of them."

The stag sighed and slowly pulled to his feet. Drudging through the snow to make his escape to the Ponds cold waters "I love the gift that the Twins have given me... but the cost is just so much... and it's just so painful..." Slowly, he reached the pond... and lowered his head down into the cold winter waters gathering a much needed drink. Allowing himself to be lost to the world of water his ears jolted when he heard the crunch of snow behind him. Who would be out in this snow?

Drawing his head on away from the water he glanced back over his shoulder... no one... or so he thought. With the fog being as thick as it was, there was a hard enough time seeing more than a few feet in front of his face. Returning to lowering his head on down into the water he went to finishing his drink, lifting his head before he felt fur and hair under his chin... jerking back in reaction Toxic backed up as the water came up around him and soon... those red eyes narrowed "How dare you..."

"How... what... Toxic... what's wrong with you my friend?"

A snort, the other stag backed up. Moving from the pond and turning his back to the one speaking to him "Friend... am I really your friend? Or are you just trying to pry at my emotions?" His tail wiggled behind him as he shook his head... it was hard, very hard... and he felt the ravenish stag nuzzle against his side... and the reaction was to jerk away and to start walking.

"What has gotten into you Toxic? Please... don't do this..." Nathan let out, his expression a mixture of emotions as he was watching Toxic move away. Quick to move and follow the other only to be met by a lowered head... Toxic's antlers... they weren't intimidating compared to a rack like Nathan's but... the blue stag stopped and frowned more "Toxic..."

"You as well as everyone else abandoned me... so just back off Nathan..." It was a painful thing to say as he raised his head, there was hurt in those red eyes as he turned... working to walk away "Only a few stayed by my side... only a few tried to help me..." The night pelted stag muttered out... his hooves crunching softly in the snow "They were the few who were committed friends... unlike others." That sweet voice grew colder as he casted a glare over his shoulder.

"I don't understand... I..."

"I looked for you Nathan... I traveled the forest... hoping, no PRAYING that I would find you. And what was I rewarded with? Nothing... I made myself sick... and sicker still with each and every moment I was running. I drove myself to the point of falling, only to get back up again..." His body was quivering as he shoved Nathan away the moment the ravenish stag tried to nuzzle into his body "And then I collapsed... my body was so weak, I couldn't get up... I couldn't find any strength to pry myself out of the mud I had gotten stuck in. The downpour soaked my fur... with winter coming up I was freezing... and who came to help? Leea and her brother..."

His body quivered more as he backed away, those were tears flowing down his cheeks as he coughed softly... he was still getting better "And through it all... I only made myself sicker..." Toxic's head lowered once again as he narrowed his eyes all the more "Everyday I ran... I hoped to find those that would care about me... find those that I knew were my friends... I found only one other..." Another quiver before he jerked his head up and reared harshly avoiding any hits but he did make Nathan back away and lower down.

"And now, even after all this... after I once again collapsed from exhaustion... I felt like I should just give up on my life... no one would miss a stag who's sick. No one would miss a lame stag with an injured leg... no one, would miss Toxic..." His voice broke... tears... ever flowing down his face as he turned his attention to a side "But funny as it is... the gods blessed me... they gave me the will to live... gave me someone that wants me... someone that would be my friend and never leave... Unlike you."

Nathan frowned and looked hurt... he was confused... why... why was Toxic acting this was "Toxic, I... I never left you. You are my friend, you always will be my friend... please..."

"Just words Nathan..." Red eyes lowered as he lifted a hoof... flicking the remains of the purple flowers he'd crushed earlier... "You've lost me... And I'm not coming back... Nathan..." Turning, Toxic kicked one hoof back before slowly moving off, it was clear his body was in pain... but, he pushed the pain aside. Blocked it from his mind... but, trying to block out the hurt from just walking away from Nathan... that was harder. Maybe... maybe there was a way to break the wall... break the fortress... but, that would take so long. Regaining a trust was one thing, regaining friendship was a completely different story, one that will slowly develop with time... and hopefully, one that will have a happier ending.

My friend, the fates are cruel

There are no dreams, no honor remains

The arrow has left the bow of the goddess

My soul, corrupted by vengeance
Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey
In my own salvation
And your eternal slumber

Legend shall speak
Of sacrifice at world’s end
The wind sails over the water’s surface
Quietly, but surely