Hey guys, I think I mentioned to a few of you before that my Dad was going through some tough times with cancer. If I haven't told you what was going on, here's basically what has happened:
Dad developed cancer last year. They tried chemotherapy and it helped but didn't get rid of it, so they operated on him. The operation was successful, and he had two colostomies put in.
We thought everything was fine, and then he developed liver cancer. They originally said that it was the kind where they could remove that part of his liver and it would regenerate, but instead they decided to do more chemotherapy.
Well, weeks went by, and the chemo didn't help. Didn't hurt, but it didn't do anything to the cancer.
Today, they said that his cancer has spread to pretty much everywhere in his lower stomach area, and that there's nothing more they can do. Operating on him would be useless since it's spread so much. They will continue to do chemotherapy to try to help him out, but as far as fixing it, it's not going to happen.
So all the grief and trouble we've gone through trying to make my dad better has gone to waste. The doctor didn't give him a life expectancy, but now we can pretty much say that it's only a matter of time. What I understand is that if the liver fails, his brain could shut down.
It's really hard to think about, especially since this month I'll be in the western US for four weeks. This could be my last week to spend with him if...well...it happens during my trip. I'm praying not, I'm hoping that I'll be able to come home in June and he'll still be here watching sports and telling me game show trivia. I'm really hoping so.
Please, if you get the time, keep my dad and my family in your prayers. It'll really help, no matter what happens.
Please read the updates in the comments, but Dad passed away on 7/24/10 at about 5:30 AM.
I know he's at peace and am glad he isn't suffering anymore. He was 67 years old, and was a great man.
7/13/10 - Dad came home
Dad came home today, but was nauseated while at the hospital. He said something Mom didn't like so she was angry at him when they came home.
Also found out that Dad has sundowners syndrome, which is an early stage of Alzheimer's and ultimately leads to his brain just not functioning. So one day he's just going to go to sleep and not wake up. It has a lot to do with the liver cancer.
7/20/10 - They're pretty
They're pretty much thinking it will happen any day now. Mom and my Aunt have been planning the funeral out, and my grandmother bought me a suit.
They're just planning ahead, they want to be prepared.
But it's so hard to hear them talk about it.
Dad's been getting worse every day. Last week he was up, walking around, doing stuff. We even drank a little whiskey together last week. Since maybe Sunday he has stayed in bed all day. Even today when I walked in there, he couldn't even move his arms. He just moved his head a little when I talked to him.
They got Dad a hospital bed but the Hospice people will bring the rest of the stuff so he can use it today. I have been keeping Brandy and Boo locked up in my room while people come over, and last night kept Boo with me and Brand to sleep. He was a nervous wreck though, and Mom said she had to sit with him in the living room for a while because he wanted to go sleep with my Dad so badly.
From what I understand, Dad's supposed to pass during the night. We don't know how soon that will be, but what I know is that his liver is supposed to fail which will make his brain stop working. So he just won't wake up one morning.
My Aunt is planning on staying an extra week to be here for us. Also Mom's getting me to work in my room so that my brother and his wife can use it for when it happens.
I know it's going to be just like when my best friend committed suicide. I'll have a hard time accepting that my Dad will be gone. It's already hard for me to think about now.
Oh quad. ♥ ♥
I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers each night.
Kind of related, but I wanted
He loves the Phantom of the Opera.
Mom and Dad's song
:c That must be terrible for
That must be terrible for you're family to go through
I lost a member of my family by illness too
I really can't do very musch here...
*hugs* We all are gonna help you through it Quad!
I know this is the last thing
I've lost so many to cancer. I hate it.
I just want you to know that like everyone said, even though we're just an internet community, we're here for you.
Love you, Quad.
I don't really know what to
Music of the Night.
Quad I'm so sorry. We are all here for you, we all love you so much.
<33
Keeping you and your family in my prayers.
I'm sending you a hug.
...I don't really know you,
Stay strong<3
-hugs forever- We love you,
Forest FAQ
Thanks everyone. It really
@ Kaoori - Yeah I guess I never really expected this to happen. You know he had cancer before but they removed it, so finding out that he had it again was really a pretty bad shock. I'm still a little bitter at one of the doctors who said we'd just wait it out and see what happens. I mean there were things that could have been done to fix him but instead they decided to do chemotherapy, which did nothing but made him worse. But thanks for your thoughts, I'm really not trying to make this place too depressing but I feel like you guys are among the few people I really can talk to. I don't have that many close real life friends.
@ CM - there's actually a pretty funny story about my Dad and the Phantom of the Opera. I think it was like he was in the hospital (might have been the first time he got cancer when I was in elementary school, but it could have been some time before that) and someone gave him a copy of the actual novel. Well he originally said he really hated the story, but he read it and fell in love with it.
So he then got the movie...then got the soundtrack...and many days after that he would pop that CD into on old stereo system we had in their room (which they got rid of today), turn it up so loud that the entire house could hear it, and sing every song word for word.
I remember those were usually the days when he didn't have to go into work and Mom was gone somewhere.
So yeah, he can sing the entire album too.
Came home and we had a couple
So when they left we took him into the bathroom to clean his bags, and he didn't understand how they worked. I tried to help him figure it out and we sat there for 15 minutes trying to get his bags cleaned out. Well Mom came in and told him to trust her about the bags being correct. Well, we decided to throw away one of the bags and I showed him that we had plenty of extra bags. Mom said something about the bags and he said "well we don't have any more of them".
I laughed. I couldn't help myself. I thought it was okay but Mom gave me the look.
I feel like a fucking asshole now.
Well anyway, he is back in bed now. I apologized but I still feel like shit.
Don't beat yourself up. This
Good wishes to you and your
And I agree. Don't beat yourself up.
Take care Quad ..........hug
♥ ♥
♥
At least he won't have to
I don't mean to come here telling depressing stories. I'm just trying to say that...I have an idea where you're coming from...but I can't even imagine what it would be like if something like that happened to my own parents. As far as I can tell, you seem to be dealing with this quite well, and I think it would take a lot of strength to deal with it at all, rather than just giving up and "running away".
I wish I could think of something more comforting to say. I'm just really not very good with this sort of thing. I never know what to say or do when someone is in a bad situation. Even though I really want to help. I just don't know how.
I just want to let you know
*nuzzles*
Also: http://sketch.odopod.com/sketches/193772
Quad, I know exactly what
I had a very similar experience when my grandmother passed from a severe case of what my parents called "blood cancer." It's good to hear that you're keeping him at home. That way he is so much more comfortable and when he does pass, he'll have been surrounded with the love of his family.
Your family will continue to be in my prayers.
7/21/10 - Just got home from
Just got home from work at 8:00, and the house is quiet. One of my aunts on my Dad's side is here, and they're keeping everything quiet so the dogs don't bark.
Dad's barely breathing.
I don't know if he's going to make it through the night.
That sounds like the
7/23/10 - Dad's gotten very
Dad's gotten very bad. His breathing is really shallow, and he can't move his arms or legs. When he's awake, he barely moves his head and tries to talk, but we can't really hear him. His voice has gotten very raspy and barely audible. I was able to give him a sip of water but other than that he has almost stopped responding to us.
They think he's going to pass tonight. I have to go to work in a half an hour, but I already know that my managers and everyone know the situation, and if I get a call about it, I'm going to stop what I'm doing and come straight home.
We just don't know when it will be. They're thinking it might be within the next few hours.
This happened so fast, it really sucks.
uh, Quad... There's nothing
There's nothing I can say; I'm not sure what the right thing is to say. But we are here for you, and I wish for the best...
uh. I wish I had something better to say.
Damn... That's really
Quad...
;_; -hugs-
I'm so sorry.. :c -hugs- I
I hope he pulls through.
I know that no amount of
My job told me not to worry
We're just waiting to see what happens tonight, but they think that it'll either be tonight or tomorrow.
I'm so sorry, Quad...-cuddle-
...;.; I'm really sorry,
I'm really sorry, Quad. I mean, I know I didn't do anything, but dude, someone's gotta apologize.
My friend's dad died of cancer too, and I went to a church for the very first time just because of that. Y'know?
..and if it's of any importance, I'm thinking of you. ;.;
Deviantart|Bio
Signature/avatar are WIP.
I'm keep you and your family
Nothing I can say can help you...but just know that we're all here for you with open hearts and arms. ♥
...once more I am unable to
I know nothing will ease your
But I'm praying for you.
Quad... I hope you know that
I hope you know that we are all here for you. And though there is nothing that I can say that will make you feel better, just know that I do care. And I can't imagine what your going through but, you seem very strong about it. Your an admirable person Quad, I'm sure you get that from your dad. He sounds like a great guy too. -allmylovetoyourfamilyanddad- <3
Huff, Quad... *hugs*
*hugs*
I´m sorry for you... I really
<3
I sat here crying for five
*hugs*
♥...
7/24/10 - Dad passed away
Dad passed away this morning at about 5:30. I stayed with my aunt and grandparents at their house so I wasn't home when it happened, but my Mom said it was really hard to watch.
They just took him in the ambulance now. We have a bunch of people over, mostly Dad's brothers and sisters, my grandparents, ect.
If I don't respond it's because i'm away from the computer, but work gave me most of the week off to take care of everything. We don't know when any arrangements will be but we're all happy that Dad isn't suffering anymore. We prayed the Lord's prayer for him before the ambulance came.
I had a bad breakdown last night before leaving for my grandmother's house. It really sank in last night. I'm a little shaky today but I'll be alright.
Quad, man, I barely know you,
Edit: I'm so sorry... I honestly don't know what to say now...
I... Oh gawds, Quad D: I
I know I don't really know you very well, but I want you to know that my best wishes are there for you, your family, everyone. This is such a terrible tragedy and, even though I have lost many many close relatives over the past few years myself, I still have both my parents, and parents are just... Different. I can't imagine the pain you're going through right now, all of you. I wish I could do more than just say that my biggest prayers and deepest sorrows are with you all right now. I am so, so sorry to hear this~! D: *huggles*
I hope you're alright, all of you, and well, the only thing I can say is, I hope your Dad is in a place with less pain, with all the good things, that he is at peace.
RIP ♥
My condolences, brother.
Having a hard time listening
Having a hard time listening to this song but I wanted to play it for him.
Oh no... Quad, me too don't
Quad, me too don't now you very good, but I want you to now, if I saw you IRL I would've hugged you now.
Peace with you're family Quad
...~ <3
I believe this is very hard for you're family, family losses are terrible...
All good things from me <3
Condolences
I'm sorry, Quad..
My deepest sympathies ;;
Thanks everyone. I'm so glad
Last night what really got to me was when my mom said that all of Dad's sports teams won for him this year. The Alabama Crimson Tide won the NCAA national championship; the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl; and the L.A. Lakers won the NBA championship. When she said that they all played for him, I just fell apart and cried. My brother had to hold me as I let it all out.
This morning I'm better, I know it's going to hit me again but at least now I'm happy for Dad that he isn't in any more pain.
I'm going to leave the room for a while and be with my family, but if you need to talk to me, my MSN is . I'm online but may not respond.
I love all of you, because you're my best friends and I'm so lucky to have you all.
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