I smile up at the wise old oak through my soft green eyes. No one else is alone, I'm a fawn I should feel afraid but the sad thing is I don't. Abandoned an alone so long I feel indifferent to the solitude, called my life. I'm a light brown and everything about me suggests soft, light and easy but I'm not, my Mother disliked her mate, he forced her into all sorts of things I knew she must have despised and when she looked at me all she saw was him so I was left alone to live out the rest of my life, find my own way, create my own path and when one survives that they don't survive unscarred. By my ability, toughness and will to live I got through and each day I was surprised a little more to see. I have my doubts though whether the one I called Mom wanted me to live because no one could expect a 1 week old deer to live through the trauma I had survived and pull through the first month of their life or quite possibly she just didn't care. My best guess was the latter, what I assumed.

Padding through the woods while following a stream I watched my golden tanned pelt shimmer across the glassy surface. Casting about I dipped my head to meet the water hoping no one was about. I couldn't deal with strangers any more, or any point in my life for that matter.

A few days later I shivered in the rain and hid behind a tree, a young deer, just older then me choked and sputtered. He pawed at the ground and restlessly rolled on the ground, although he was big he had the same youngling look to him as I thought I did. He had some sort of virus, I could smell sickness in the air. I peeked my head about catching site of him again. He caught my glance in mid turn and what looked like using all his strength he got up, head lowered and paced towards me. Backing away slowly I shook my head, but insistent as he was sick he stuck his nose in my ear and I felt his shallow breaths as he smelt my petit being. Growing anxious and uncomfortable I froze, unsure what to do. In the soft drizzle around us I inhaled sharply in my growing anxiety and all I smelt was sickness, viruses. They were thick in the air like the valley was dying and the rain unleashed pain and infection. My mind was slowing down, the air around was clogging my insides and driving deep into my soul. The infection romped in my veins, cutting loose my ability to process.

Sniff. Watch male fawn. Cough. Lay down. Look up. Shiver in rain. Feel thirst, hunger. Male lays down. I move closer. Snuggle deep. Warmth. Look up again. Rain harder. Move closer. Close eyes. Ignore pain. Block out need. Try to sleep. Shift, restless. Shake head. Eyes still close. Breath in. Breath out. In again. Out again. Nuzzle male. Cough. Sleep.