Let me lighten it up really CWCK-ly for those of you as acquainted with the depths of the Internet as I am, that is a hilarious pun and you should be GRATEFUL I made it >D here with uh.. a gif.



But in all truthfullness, there will be SOME honest content about my personal life, which some of you may not want to hear. I promise it's not anything scandalous nor is it overly disgusting. It's just me being honest. And very thankful!

---









Where was I before I came across The Endless Forest?




I was online every day for about the same amount of time I still am; it's been a habit of mine since late Elementary school when my life started to go downhill when I became severely depressed and suicidal.


Five years later without any psychiatric help or counseling it was mostly gone, but I wasn't left without physiological scars seen in my mannerisms and how I relate with people in my daily life. They're not as severe now, but I still have them.
But after all that unfortunate nonsense I started to come out of my shell and make more friends, and I still had the need to come online.




To do what, though?


Nothing productive! My time was literally wasted on Googling things and watching videos on Youtube. And that was it. Really.
Sometimes a friend would be online to chat with, but eventually I became the only person they'd talk to online and one day they'd become tired of getting on the computer just to talk to me. So, I became incredibly bored being all by myself. Everywhere I looked for a hobby I came across cool concepts and ideas, but the people who based their creations on those concepts and ideas had highly formalized cliques that weren't accepting any newbies such as myself.






It was senior year of high school and I remember I was on deviantart, browsing to pass the time--I'd been looking at a group where the people had Bambi-inspired characters and I thought it was dumb (a few years before I became sick of Neopets and the art on this group reminded me of it) and then I saw that it was affiliated with another club for some game called "The Endless Forest".



I got curious and clicked on some screenshots in their gallery.



And






oh my god
































I got mad!

I was furious! Enraged, even!



I called up my best friend and told her about these UGLY human-faced deer and how stupid they looked! I raged to her about how I was looking at a screenshot of two deer standing on their heads! (Heaven forbid.. lol )



How unnatural!

How sick!



..how.. pretty, though.



I saw more screenshots and it looked like a lovely game, but I wasn't ready to consider it anything special just then.





I remember we'd talked about it later and I thought "I never really gave that game a chance.. I really should try it."
And I did.













I was a Nameless for about 5 minutes before I registered : )




Two of my cousins came over to visit just as I was getting acquainted with TEF and thinking of exploring the Community site. They kept me busy but I was itching to get back on.
After they left for North Dakota I was able to log back in, and one of the first things I saw was Paz's character Oison as he was being developed and I was amazed that these deer could have personalities. I remember oggling at sablekat's artwork and moaning about how I'd never be worthy of posting anything.
But for some reason, I did!




And I found a place where I can create.
Where I can speak.
Where I can be accepted, not just tolerated.
A place where I can stand out in my own special way instead of being ignored for being extraordinarily unlike the majority.


I'll admit that I don't think this place is all rainbows and unicorns. Like anywhere, we have our disagreements and petty fights, passive-aggressive comments and whatnot.
And when that gets overwhelming, I think of leaving.


Deleting everything.
Not posting anything.
Just leaving.






And then I realize that I wouldn't find another place like this anywhere else.



If any of you would disagree, let me just say this: would you find the same atmosphere on Subeta? The same artistic knowledge on Neopets?
There are so many nice and thoughtful people on here and I think we often take that for granted.




Recently I've been having anxiety problems, nothing too horrible, but nothing very fun. My doctor gave me a clean bill of physical health and told me that my anxiety is psychologically based. He gave me some papers to look at explaining the possible causes of my problems and whatnot. It wasn't anything I didn't already know. I haven't decided on what sort of actual treatment that I want, be it counseling, psychiatric help, or just plain medicine, but I came to see that this game, this community is a valuable tool that I already use for recreation but can also be used for much more relaxing purposes.




I want to thank each and every one of you, but there are things that I have to do--financial things and school things and friendship things. If I had none of those to deal with, I would write up individual thank you's.


















But I'll say this to the community as a whole:



Thank you for being you and letting me be myself.
Thank you for accepting others and expanding your minds toward other cultures and other ways of life. Thank you for appreciating M and A's efforts.
Thank you for allowing me to spend my time chiseling and crafting characters (no matter how long they last) that represent parts of myself.
Thank you for encouraging me to become more outgoing.
Thank you for being there for each other.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for allowing me (and others) to see the beauty of ungulates.
Thank you for being eager to lend anybody a hand if they ask for it.
..and for convincing others to do the same!
Thank you for being different.
For being listeners.
For being empathetic.
For being silly beyond belief!! xD



Thank you for everything.
This has been a fantastic 2 years and 21 weeks of my life 8')