I Need Some Friendly Opinions.

July 31, 2009 - 8:58pm — Pendulum

I don't know how much life experience all of you have, but I know this community is not a hateful one so I knew I could turn here for some advice. Let me fill you all in.

I am 21 years old, nearly 22, and I am currently living with my fiance who I dearly love. He works a steady job at Microsoft here in Dallas and makes a good amount of money for a 23 year old. However, he rents a house in Grand Prairie and takes very good care of it despite not owning it. Since he's trying to get himself established in his job, he has tenants that also live here with us. John and Nick, also members of Microsoft, stay in a room upstairs and just arrived from Utah 2 days ago, and we were very excited to have them stay. Nick will be staying for just a month until his wife arrives with the kids, and John with be staying permanently. But we also have two others.

Matt and his mother Marta stay in the master bedroom downstairs. Matt is a valet in downtown Dallas and makes a good deal of money considering his job description, and his mother is unemployed by choice. Neither of them have paid my fiance rent in a year and a half, and owe him nearly $10 grand. Nick didn't want to ask for compensation because they took care of him for a bit when he was having family problems, but he paid them back in full. But recently, I hooked Matt up with someone I considered to be my best friend....that is until I found out that she was gossiping about me behind my back with Matt and his mother. When approached, they all claim that nothing was ever said, yet Matt explained to my fiance that she had been talking badly. Yet, he tells her that he never said a word.

However, this was not the issue. The issue has now become that his mother demanded my fiance to kick me out of the house if "I" started drama with said best friend. But the best friend doesn't live here and neither of them own the title of rent. My fiance does. She also claims that I disrespect my fiance because I don't do what she considers "sufficient house chores".

Keep in mind, this woman vacuums 2-3 times a week every room in the house, she does dishes before they hit the sink, and she dusts almost every day. She is also unemployed and refuses to take a job because they do not pay her enough. As for what I do around the house...I clean my fiance's room, vacuum when asked, and I do everyone's dishes except her's and Matt's. I also cook almost every night for my fiance and I make sure his well-being is looked after.

Is it fair of me to be angry at this woman and my best friend? Should we ask them for the money and if not paid, is it fair to ask them to leave? I'm so confused and it's starting to stress me terribly...

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July 31, 2009 - 9:12pm — Faunee

First breath its sound like

First breath its sound like you have alot to deal with . With me being only 13 i canot give much life advice. But i am here if you ever need to talk and i hope you get things sorted out. Follow and trust in your heart. Have you discussed the financial issue with your fiance???

July 31, 2009 - 9:16pm — Pendulum

Yes, financial priorities is

Yes, financial priorities is top of our list. Luckily, both of us are trying our best, and these two new tenants are paying rent. It's just that lost money from the other two. He could be debt free and worry free if they were either gone or paying.

Thank you for your kind words. It's always nice to know that people are there to extend a hand.

July 31, 2009 - 9:20pm — Faunee

No problem. Like i said

No problem. Like i said before if you need to talk post me cause sometimes talking about whatever kinda help relieves some of the stress.

July 31, 2009 - 9:21pm — Density

I'm only 19 (and I live in

I'm only 19 (and I live in Dallas too! Well...Sachse, but no one knows where that is) but I can tell when putting up with something for so long should stop. Even if they are close friends/family/co-workers/etc they need to hold up their end of the rent and if they aren't living up to your expectations you have the right to ask them to leave because you could open that spare room to someone who WILL pay and thus you get more income. Sometimes it's hard to be straightforward with people, but this is the real world and the economy sucks and you can't afford to say "Oh it's okay, just get it to me when you can."

I hope things turn brighter here in the next few days/weeks/months :]

July 31, 2009 - 9:29pm — Pendulum

Thank you both so much (and

Thank you both so much (and that's awesome to hear you live so close!) and the thoughts mean a lot to me.

It's going to be difficult, and really, this advice is more for my fiance than myself. If it were me, I'd boot them out in a heartbeat, but he's so caring, it's almost a fault sometimes, and I just want him to see that how they are treating him is wrong.

July 31, 2009 - 9:39pm — Terabetha

I think, gossip or no, you

I think, gossip or no, you should ask them for the money. Having that much of a balance for that long without approaching you with a reasonable explanation and an apology is both disrespectful and dishonorable! As for the bad talking, that's them simply being childish. I know it's hurtful, but don't pay it any mind. Maybe you should start treating Matt and his mother as business associates instead of friends, since they seem to be unable to act in a friendly manner. That way, they'll learn that you and or your fiance's status as their 'friends' will not be taken advantage of, as it obviously is!

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July 31, 2009 - 9:55pm — Snowrift

All I have to say is: I

All I have to say is:

I don't think they are true friends for treating you guys this way, sounds like they are practically living off you guys.

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July 31, 2009 - 10:11pm — Fenqua

I'm not a life expert, but I

I'm not a life expert, but I know for sure those people HAVE to pay you and your fiance the money. You made an agreement, which stated they have to pay the rent, friends or not. I've seen this issue going on multiple times, it's hard to ask money from friends. But just leave the title 'friends' out and they're still renters, so they owe you money. It's as simple as that, even though it may sound harsh.

As for his mother, well, he is the one deciding if the chores are divided between you equally, not she. So if he had a complaint about it, you could talk it over. His mother should mind her own business to be honest...

To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul

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To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul

July 31, 2009 - 11:47pm — Innisen

Is it fair to be angry at

Is it fair to be angry at them? I know I would be. Wether or not to show it is another thing. If someone talked behind my back I wouldn't call them my friend anymore. But that is what I am, and perhaps you are not.

It does seem like you are being ripped off, and that kind of situation needs actions.
The mother shouldn't have ... well no, she has the right to say what she thinks, but it doesn't mean she can control over you or your house.

I agree with the previous commenters, if someone can not pay their rent, they lose the right to live there. It most likely leads to a lot of cursing, but that can't be helped :T

Yeah, I'm only 20 so I don't have that much life experience and am not there to hear and see the things you do.
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If you can't confuse people with your intelligence, amaze them with your bullshit.

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If you can't confuse people with your intelligence, amaze them with your bull****.

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I Need Some Friendly Opinions.