(there's some mention of violence here, but it's not really described)

I can't stand fighting...especially when my friends get involved... But when my friends fight each other...

I...don't know what to think anymore...

It had been a good day. The snow was beautiful, and those giant mushrooms...I've never seen anything like them before. I felt better than I had in a few days. I even played a little bit with Riptail and a couple other deer. But I had to rest. Being injured makes it hard for me to keep up that kind of activity for long. At some point, I ended up falling asleep.

When I woke up later on, I noticed two of my friends were in the forest. The Priest, who I hadn't seen in a long time and don't get to see very often, and Aegle. They were together. I was excited. I ran up to them, though I shouldn't have with my wounds, but I just couldn't help myself.

When they came into sight, I stopped dead in my tracks. I was shocked at what I saw. Antlers being lowered and hooves being raised. They were fighting...my friends... And it wasn't just a spar, like the one I witnessed between Virgil and Baal. This was the real thing...

The pain I felt inside was awful. Much worse than the physical wounds on my flanks and chest. I felt like my heart was going to break. I called out to them.

"Priest, Aegle, please, why are you fighting? Please stop!" I called, but they either didn't hear me or would not listen. I moved closer. "Please stop this!" Another deer, I think he is called Masque, stepped in front of me and tried to stop me from getting any closer. But I ignored him. I could not just stand by and watch as my friends hurt each other. I care too much for them to not at least try to do something.

I walked right past Masque, still calling out to my friends to stop. The Priest looked at me sadly and shook his head, and the fight continued. The longer I watched them, the more it hurt. When there was some room between them, I stepped in, not caring if I got hit, asking them to stop once more. Instead, they moved.

This went on for quite a while. Whenever they moved, I followed them. When I thought I could, I would step in between them, begging them to stop this madness. Though they both looked at me with sadness, they refused to listen to me, refused to stop fighting. I could see, after a while, that they were both injured, though Aegle seemed to take the worst of it. I couldn't stand seeing them this way.

I suppose I ignored my own wounds for too long. In my grief, I had forgotten about them, barely felt them at all. I had been hit by a few stray blows, and some of the older wounds were opening up again. I suppose I was exhausting myself without even realizing it. At one point, trying to run after them, I collapsed. I may have even blacked out briefly, maybe from the combination of physical and emotional distress. But I refused to give up. By now, it was clear they couldn't be convinced to stop, but even so, I just could not give up trying. I hoped there was still a chance. So I continued to follow them, even though I was having trouble standing on my own four legs. Until, finally, Aegle gave up, and fled. I followed, though I kept falling as I tried to run.

By the time I got to her, I found her resting beside Masque. I tried to go to her, to see if she was alright, but he wouldn't let me near. I don't blame him, as he does not know me very well. I decided it would have to wait. At least she wouldn't be alone.

So, instead, I went back to find the Priest. I wanted to make sure he was okay, too, but I also hoped he could offer some kind of explanation for what happened. When I found him, he was at least in good enough condition to walk, though he had several wounds on his body, including some that looked like they had been old wounds, reopened. There were tears in my eyes as I stood there watching him. He told me I could not understand, and something to do with the greater good. Well, I didn't understand, and I still don't. I could not understand how fighting with Aegle could have anything to do with the "greater good." She has always been kind... But, so has the Priest. I could have never imagined either one of them getting involved in any kind of fight.

I felt like crying. I have never felt that way before. I have never felt so terrible. After the Priest spoke to me, I turned to see Bastilion standing a little ways away. I don't know how long he was there, but the sight of him was a welcome one. I limped over to him. I could tell he saw what had happened. I could see from his expression that he didn't like it any more than I did. I guess he must know the Priest...maybe Aegle, too... At least, it seemed that way.

Somehow, when I was near Bastilion, I couldn't seem to hold the tears in. "How could this happen? How could my friends hurt each other like this?" I did not expect an answer. After all, there was no reason why he should know more than I did. I just wanted some comfort. I leaned against him, burying my face in the soft fur of his neck, tears streaming down my face. He nuzzled me, warm, comforting, reassuring. Standing was more difficult than ever, so I sat, and he sat beside me. There was something...almost soothing...about his body next to mine. I found myself eventually drifting off to sleep.

Bastilion, you don't know how thankful I am of your presence. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there in that moment, when I needed a friend more than ever. I just may have fallen apart. I thank you for not letting that happen.

~Amary~

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I think the only deer I mentioned that were not already named are the two that were playing with Amary and Riptail, Flyra and Goob. There were other deer around during that fight that I didn't mention, but they were mostly watching.

There is more going on here than just witnessing two friends fighting each other, especially taking other recent events into consideration, as well as Amary's personality and the fact that she has always had pretty idealistic views about everything. Those views have been challenged a lot lately, leaving her more confused than ever. But don't worry, she'll be back to normal after a while. Her optimism may have been thoroughly shaken, but she isn't about to give it up.

I want to draw stuff based on this. But I don't know if I'll get to it. x.x;