He's... gone... (Ayanel Diary Entry 12)

Ayanel's picture

"Why..."



Her day had gone just fine for the most part. She had played with her sister and brother. She had seen Lorque and played with him for a while happily. She had wondered where Touraga had been. For a few days she had not seen him. After some time she left and wandered towards the Oak and fell asleep.

After some time she awoke to find the forest quiet. She looked in front of her and saw Touraga trotting towards her. She went over to him about to greet him when he stopped her. He told her he had something to say. "I'm sorry..." was how he began.

She felt her body tremble as she heard him speaking. Her mind was wracked with emotions. Sorrow, Anger, Pain. All too clear. It all hurt. His words stung her. He was abandoning her. She looked up when he had finished tears welling up in her eyes. She did not want him to go. Did not want to feel alone again.

"Why..." she asked barely getting the word out through the tears. He just turned and walked off. Not saying a word to her. "Touraga...TOURAGA!!" she yelled feeling her body ready to collapse. She ran forwards and tried to catch up to him as he ran off. He was running for the Lake. She remembered yelling again and again but he never turned around, he then took a final leap into the Lake water, as blinding light enveloping him.

"NOOO!" she yelled crying her eyes out. it was to late. She saw no trace of him. The lake waters where calm. Shaking her head in defiance she leapt in. She swam around aimlessly searching the lake. He was not there. He was no where in sight. She crawled out of the lake after hours of searching.


She then collapsed on the shore her chest heaving tears falling from her eyes as she cried herself into a mournful sleep...

Willet's picture

Wish had been sitting in his

Wish had been sitting in his useuall place hudeled bettwen twisted limbs of the willow throwing shiny rocks at the water telling the gods his Wishes and the Wishes of hof his friend. What he had just seen destroyed him. He cryyed a emotionless cry and stiared at the water befor picking up his last shiny stone and chuking it as hard as he could at the water, withch wasnt vere hard at the moment and screamed his Wish "I WANT MY FATHER BACK"!!
muesique's picture

Lorque walked up to her

Lorque walked up to her silently. He got worried as soon as he saw her tears running. "No... it can't be... Why would he do this to you?" Lorque whispered in shock as soon as he heard about it. He could only imagine what Ayanel must've been feeling this moment. "I'm... I'm sorry," he said with a weak voice and sat down next to her. Lorque stared into their reflections in the water, without saying any more.
Ayanel's picture

~Ayanel looked into the water

~Ayanel looked into the water and spoke softly~ "It... was me... I must have... done something... I... must have.... ~she begins to tremble and cry~
Willet's picture

He some out from his place

He some out from his place behind the tree and runns over pressing himself close to her. "Please deer gods dont let me fall..that is my Wish" he whispers burying his fuce in her fur
Ayanel's picture

~she looks down and nuzzles

~she looks down and nuzzles her small fawn~ I'm... I'm so sorry... I could not do anything... I... I failed you haven't I... ~she nuzzles him feeling herself grow more in her sorrow~
muesique's picture

"No... don't say something

"No... don't say something like that," he sighed. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault. I can't imagine what..." he started, "What you could've done to cause this." Lorque wasn't sure his shy attempt at a compliment was clear enough... But at the same time he could do nothing but wonder why Touraga was gone now.
Willet's picture

crys for a moment "You...you

crys for a moment "You...you hae not failed me at all mommy...you love me and you wont leave me...in these ways you dont fail me...but there is so much lose recsntly...my friend also lost his mate but his died instead.." he cureled into a ball the pound was allways where he granted Wishes but now there where to many bad memories to Wish for anything.
Ayanel's picture

~She looks to Lorque then

~She looks to Lorque then looks down as tears continue to trickle~ ... I... just don't know.... ~she nuzzles him gently then looks down to her son~ Wish... I am sorry...
Willet's picture

He crawled underneeth her

He crawled underneeth her haveing her lay on him, blocking out the world.
Ayanel's picture

~she gently moves her body

~she gently moves her body and nuzzles him wrapping her head around giving him warmth~ Lorque... what am I going to do... ~she continues to warm her son then remembers~ What will Ice think.. she.... ~Ayanel suddenly cries again just realizing her daughter may not know~
Willet's picture

He accepts the warmth and

He accepts the warmth and falls asleep, he hadnt slept in three weeks andhe jsut waited for the nightmares to grip him....
Ayanel's picture

~she keeps him warm thinking

~she keeps him warm thinking about her daughter as well. She then begins to hum a song as she sees him falling to sleep. Her voice echoing softly as she begins to sing a lullaby~
muesique's picture

Lorque nuzzled her neck and

Lorque nuzzled her neck and sighed. He wished for a way to make her feel better, but at the same time he didn't think this would be possible right now... He turned to her son, who already fell asleep. "Wish, you need to be strong now... for your mommy," he whispered. "You... or we, need to find a way to turn this frown into a sweet smile again" he said and cracked a weak smile himself, but then the thoughts of Touraga came back. It sure felt empty without him, just like it did within the past days...
Ayanel's picture

~she calmed her humming and

~she calmed her humming and looked to Lorque nuzzling him gently~ thank you.... ~she speaks softly looking into his eyes and giving him a weak smile. She then looks out into the lake~ I still wonder... ~she tries to hold back the next wave of tears as she looks into the lake~
Willet's picture

Wishes eyes fly open at the

Wishes eyes fly open at the sound of the word Wish his head shots up "Do you want to make a Wish..."he asks slowly.
Ayanel's picture

~she looks down to Wish and

~she looks down to Wish and smiles a little then nuzzles him~ ...Lorque was just saying that you need to be brave dear... ~she nuzzles him again~ I'm sorry if we woke you my child...
Willet's picture

He nods and stands then bows

He nods and stands then bows deeply to Lorque"I that is your Wish that is my dessire.."He smiled he loved to grant Wishes.
muesique's picture

Lorque nuzzled Wish slightly.

Lorque nuzzled Wish slightly. "That is indeed my wish" he smiled. He was happy that even though Touraga had left, Ayanel wasn't left alone...
Willet's picture

He smiled and curled next to

He smiled and curled next to his mother aga and whispers as he drifts away "Wish I can cry
loud and long

Wish I can lie
nothing has gone wrong


Time won't take me back
to the old happy days

and yes... my hearts still ache
for everything we have said


Let me cry in my paint
Let me whine in disdain

I ain't no perfect saint
Just a devil crying in the rain..."
Ayanel's picture

~she nuzzles wish gently and

~she nuzzles wish gently and whispers into his ear softly~ ...I will always be here for you... ~she then looks to Lorque~ ...Lorque... thank you... ~she then nuzzles him and smiles another weak smile~
Ayanel's picture

~she tries to get to sleep,

~she tries to get to sleep, but only a few minutes later opens her eyes and looks out towards the lake~ ...how long... will this... last... ~she looks down feeling sad still then looks over to Lorque then down to Wish and shuts her eyes tightly~ ... ... to leave me... with 2 small fawns... to leave me alone... ~she gets up slowly and closes her eyes tears welling up and streaming anew~ ...You... What did I.. ever do to you... ~She whispered out to the lake. She then looked at a nearby tree~ ... I didn't deserve this! ~she yelled and rammed her head into the tree angrily ripping the bark from it. Tears where streaming from her eyes freely as she hoofed, bucked, and rammed her head into the tree her small but sharp antlers ripping bark off~
muesique's picture

Lorque, who had fallen into a

Lorque, who had fallen into a small nap himself got woken up by the sudden break of silence. He looked around and saw Ayanel ramming her head into a tree. He got up as fast as his numb legs allowed him to and ran towards her. "Ayanel!" he shouted and tried to push her away gently. "Don't... you're going to hurt yourself...," he huffed.
Ayanel's picture

~she stopped and looked at

~she stopped and looked at him. Tears where streaming from her eyes as a little blood trickled from her head where a piece of bark seemed to have cut her. She just looked at him for a moment then buried her head in his fur and began to sob after a few moments she spoke softly~ Lorque... i'm sorry... I was just... so mad... I... I'm sorry... ~she went over to the lake waters and washed her wound then looked over to Wish~ ...I'm tiered and sleepy... ~she walked over to Wish and layed down feeling Lorque lay beside her. She then nuzzled him and drifted off to sleep and hopefully a better tomorrow~

Verycrazygirl's picture

(No subject)


~Ice heard the last part of

~Ice heard the last part of the conversation and stumbled up to Ayanel, Wish and Lorque,"What? No.. but.. he cant have.." One tear trickled down from her eye, and she lay down beside Wish and closed her eyes, "Please.. no.." She whispered, as she closed her weary eyes.~