August 6, 2010 - 12:02am — Svyetts
I'm taking Nezzaine advice and talking out how I feel about my dad.
About a year ago.
My dad start complaining about his head hurt. We didn't think of it as anything until one day we can home to the house crashed rummaged threw. (Y'know knocked over tables, broken glasses, and tipped over chairs) At first we thought we where robbed, but come to find out my dad had had a seizure and had somehow or another walked from the living room back to his room.
After that we took him to the doctors to see if he was ok only to find out he had swelling on the brain and need the fluid drained. So we got that done only to find out under the fluid where two brain tumors. So we tried to get those removed but there we're already to far gone. They became cancerous tumor.
So after a looong time of meds, chemotherapy, and curse word they told me and my family that there was a slim change he would make it out of this. We took great care of him and made sure to keep him positive with prayer and family, but he already knew the truth.... So he closed up inside and became cold to the family. Only up til about 3 months ago did he open up again. It's really scary when you dad calls you out of you room and tell you to take care of your mother. I played it cocky and ask were did he think he was going, but he didn't laugh so I knew he was serious...
After all this I kinda wanna beat a few nurses faces in that didn't even come to his call when he was in the hospital. Some of the doctor we're really cold and didn't care about another guy dieing in the hospital. I wanna to push the down some stairs for the way they acted. I've never hated anyone so much until these nurses and doctors blew people off like "hurry up and die your taking up space".
I was glad to get him home. He could do a better job than anyone at that hospital taking care of him.
It gotten so bad he can't walk, he won't eat, and he barely speak. It get frustrating. He in a hospital bed that has been placed in our living room. He just dieing in there. It's enough to make you sick seeing him suffer like that. I tell him good morning and good night and that I love him, but I barely interact with him. Its not that I don't love him I just don't want to see him like that... and what worse I'm a little guy compared to my dad. The first time he feel out of the bed we were home alone and I could pick him up off the floor. I felt really weak and useless not being able to help him until my uncle came. Its hard having family members with cancer. They sometimes say really mean harsh thing to you and make the family kinda fall apart, but it good to stay positive even when you wanna cry. because right now I can barely contain the tears of sadness that he won't be here much longer and one day I'm gonna wake up to my mom crying and him dead in my living room.
But I bet none of you could even tell any of this was happening to me seeing as I'm usually always so cheerful. Keep positive!! Don't let it get you down! Even if you have to paste a smile on! Keep it on! Try to stay happy for the sick! It'll make them feel better that there not leaving you with nothing but sadness! :3 Don't pity me! Stay positive with me! You don't know how much it helps! That why I join this site! xD
I read all of this, and I'm
<3333 I wish I could say more than this, but you and your family are in my thoughts.
-offers hug- Keep positive
I hope for the best.
You're such a strong person,
*sends hugs*
I can not say I truly know
My mother has shown cancerous cells and things that could turn into cancer. She’s had surgery a couple of times. Though it’s nowhere near as bad as it could get I still feel scared. Scared for her and for our family. She’s the strong one. She’s the one that cares for all of us even when we‘re not living in the same house. I know for a fact my family could fall apart without her. If anything happened to her I wouldn’t be only loosing a mother I adore but… well… I could say a lot of things about it.
I also have an internet friend who I feel very close to. Who has went through the exact thing your father is currently going through. He’s been through countless surgeries and had live in help for the longest time. Our mutual friend and I worry when we don’t see him for a few days. We’re always wondering. When he says he’s getting a headache we worry because that’s usually a very bad sign for him.
I can not know how you’re feeling. But I can guess by putting together the feelings with my Mother and Friend. And I want you to know I feel for you and wish you the best. If you need to just talk or ramble let me know. I’ll give you my MSN and I’ll be there. Times like this you can use all the support you can get.
I’d also like to say… I know money is hard sometimes. But if there is a way to try another doctor I say search for a better one. By the sound of it I wouldn’t put my faith in the ones you‘re seeing now. My friend has had a hard time with his tumors but he IS doing better. There is hope.
It is good you are not letting yourself get depressed because of this. Keep your health up, both physical and mental. That's the best thing you can do for yourself and your family at times like this.
/drags you to self and
I'm so sorry to hear that your father isn't doing so good, but yes, do keep positive! Know that somewhere inside, he's smiling and being grateful that you're saying things like 'good morning', 'I love you', and 'good night'. I'm sure he wished he was able to speak to say those back to you. I do not know how you feel, but typing this out is bringing tears to my eyes. It's heart wrenching. But I do know that once it's all over, he'll be free of pain and worry, he'll be proud and be able to walk amongst those. He'll teach you one thing, never give up.
-Snail ♥
@moon: Thanks man :3 @Ocean:
@Ocean: *Takes that hug*
@Tera: Thank you
@Pegas: *hugs bk*
@PW: I don't think there are anymore doctor that can help him. There's nothing more they can do for him but make him comfortable before he dies. It some kinda Organization call Hospice. They makes sure you well taken care of and keep happy until the end. but For some reason, I feel like he just gonna jump up one day and be all better, but I know that clearly impossible...
@Snail: Yeah that's all I really want now. For him to finally be free of all pain.