I woke up today feeling as if I hadn't slept all night. I had not found Touraga all day today. I haven't seen him for a bit. Last time I saw him we played for a long time. I want to see him before I completely lose all my spots. I feel as If he won't recognize me, and what if he becomes frightened of me when all my spots are gone? I am already a little bigger then the last time he met me. I don't know what I am going to do at all. He had told me that no matter how big I got that he would always be my friend. Even if I became an adult he would always be my best friend. I hope so.

I ran off into the forest today shying away from everyone, adult or fawn. I don't even know who to be friends with. I am not an adult but neither am I a young fawn. Confusion is what is in the forefront of my mind. I think I'd rather just grow up at this instant! I want to at least fit somewhere in the forest. My fear for adults is painful and I wish I could make friends with them. Whats worse is that I don't know whether to be friends with fawns either because I don't know if they will like me and the fact that I am larger then most of them by now.

All I could do was run. I ran into the forest and towards the cemetery hoping to find Touraga since that is where I first met him. I miss him. I laid down in front of one of the crosses and slept a little. I awoke after some time and went in search of him yet again. After not finding him this time I fell asleep in front of another tombstone. Maybe I will see him tomorrow I hoped... Maybe.... and with that I fell asleep hoping for a better day when I awaken.