Forest Tales- A tale of Skinta

ForestOrb's picture
It was rainy, and it was comming down hard. All of the deer had took cover under the towering branches of the trees. Nice and warm. But not Skinta, she loved the rain. She would always run and pounce in the puddles, and plus there were never any other deer to bother her or to tell her what to do. She didn't like rules, especially the ones that were useless. Like fawns not being able to be out after dark. She also liked to play after dark, thats when the fireflies came out to play in their swirling slumber of lights. It was no fun watching them in the day, they didn't light up then. Skinta was different from the others. She liked to do things, that to her, were much more fun then bouncing around in the fields with the other fawns. As the moon grew brighter and brighter Skinta grew more and more joyful, something was different, it had stopped raining! Now the fireflies have to come out to play! She couldn't wait to see the them with their bright glowing lights, and their wonderful playfulness. Skinta pauses for a long time, scanning over the purple and orange horizon searching for the fireflies, and there they were, swirling and bouncing in the air. Skinta thought to herself that nothing could possibly get better, she was free to do as she pleased, free of all the worries and woes. They twirled around her as they lit up her eyes, she loved to try to jump up and touch them with her nose. Several minutes later, they seemed to vanish into the night not leaving a trace except for the trail of blue light behind them. And then Skinta saw why. As here eyes gazed up into the night, she saw the soul capturing eyes of an owl, with the face of a human. It was sitting on the lowest branch only a couple of feet away from her. The sight of this stunns Skinta. She sprints through the forest tripping over a fallen log. The owl with the human face was right behind her, tracking her every step. Dipping and dodging under branches through the air. And then it stops, she looks behind her and no longer sees the olden peircing eyes of the owl with the human face. Willingly, she slowly walks back home exhausted.

It's a good start, but I just

It's a good start, but I just have to point out a couple of things.

• You keep slipping from past to present tense. For example, "The sight of this stunned Skinta. She sprints through the forest tripping over a fallen log." It would either have to be "stunned" and "sprinted", or "stuns" and "sprints".

• You used some words in the wrong instances, such as "vanquish", where it should be "vanish".

But other than that, it's a good start. ♥ Also, one wouldn't be able to hear an owl flapping its wings, since I don't think an owl makes any noise whilst flying. Or at least it makes very minimal noise, so that its prey cannot hear it.
ForestOrb's picture

i really appreciate you

i really appreciate you correcting me on these things, no kidding, i need to know these things, so thank you for informing me, I really do appreciate it. (: i will try to fix these mistakes asap