Theres a particular reason i am writting this, no other reason than my Grand Mother has terminal cancer. I am not looking for sympathy but just to write a reminder of her before she leaves as a diary entry by Bree.
Just like all of my stories start; It was a normal day with mottled patterns from the faint sun on the floor blah blah blah. Since i was very little i have always known the story of 'Little red riding hood and the big bad wolf' in this occation I am little red riding hood, Grand mother is nan and The big bad wolf is nothing other than the terminal cancer cells, stealing my grand mothers life from inside; Like the elegant little germ it is.
I left my shelterd tree shack and trotted along the forest, as said before. Everything yet again seemed normal, as said before. I kept trotting and trotting until i reach Grand Mother Pammy's house. She was known for her kindness and baking that she done regulary as she has nothing else to do except socialise. I walk in tapping my antlers on every tree trunk i accidenly hit, which is most of them c:
The whole feeling in the wooden shack was strange, the smell of death and heated bodies hung around like a constant wind only surrounding the close trees making a home for my Grand Mother.
I saw her not moving and just lieing there. Thank god my parent's weren't there it would of killed them inside. We all knew there was something wrong with Grand Mother Pammy her waist seemed to of drastically widened and her face became pale and was prone to many viruses and dieseases around. I never thought one could kill a deer though. I stood there in less shock rather more frightened how i would kept living without my Grand Mother; She was well known and always said she was alone when she was friends with every one, It was just and excuse for me to come and visit you see. Her heart was still going until i thought 'she's only just breathing maybe a few last words?' as i thought this i knelt down and could feel her trying to hold on to see me and trying to lift her big, heavy eyes towards me to see me for the last time. She didn't manage to move her head, just about her eyes and troubled to speak but managed 'Bree. I've seen you since you we're born and you have blossomed into the most loving, beautiful thing i have ever seen. I will still see you grow up but i doubt you would see me.' She stared at me finally getting the need to see me. A tear fell from my eyes and as it did, her pulse thumped, dropped and stopped. I whispered, 'I know you have Grand Mother P. I'll always love you and forever miss you. I know you will look after me. I'll never forget you. Ever.' and with that i layed staring the person i grew up with, loved and helped me through thick and thin. I gave her a small peck on her cheek and found the biggest leaf i could of her favorite leaf from her oak tree shadowing her home, The Quercus robur laid beside her cheek; Quercus robur. She was still a peachy colour and with a last glimpse i left with a stinging tear of emotion running down my face. And another and another it came down to a marathone of tears. I sat there with all my ideas running wild and i felt weak and alone all a sudden. Then I saw her helping me up. She didn't lie. She said she would be there for me and that i probably wouldn't see her. I didn't bother to go back to see if i was dreaming she doesn't lie and she doesn't all a sudden get better. She helped me and i knew she did. She now feels no pain or guilt just the happiness of watching me yet again grow up like she did all these last few years. This year will be her last christmas and she is becoming quite ill but i know she will pull through as long as she can, i love you Nanny :') <3 xx