The Diary of Seed, 8-16-09 (long entry is long)

Seed's picture
((Will update with pictures in the morning.))


I had an uneventful morning: I resolved to wait until I better understood Peyton's and I's situation: there may be hope left, hiding under winter snow like (forgive the pun) the seeds that sprout the following spring. Or perhaps the hope, like flowers in winter, is dead. I will wait, and find the truth. I had an uneventful morning, as I said: I rose, and was helped a bit by another deer, to regain my pelt, and I went on my way. I spotted a deer sleeping with my pictogram: these seem to happen more and more often. The fellow looked nothing like me, but for a moment I wondered if he, perhaps, was a life I didn't live, a path I didn't choose. I think about that sort of thing a lot these days. I wanted very much for him to wake up, nuzzle me, and tell me that I made the right choices with my life, after all: that his life is no happier than mine. I left him and that idle fantasy, and took a nap.

I awoke, and decided that there were some bridges I wanted to repair. I ran across the forest, trying to find a flower patch that reminded me of one that... was once precious to me. I knew I wouldn't find the exact one: what stag, wanting home again having wandered far away, can ever find it? It was in some much more distant part of the forest, much less explored by deer, and it was so long ago that even if I could find it, I'd probably not recognize it. But I found one like it, out of reach of trees, bare of ferns, just the purple flowers and the butterflies, and I sat in it for a while. After a time, I went and saw some saplings, clustered around a flowerpatch not so far off. I went up to them and rubbed my sides against them, and I went and walked alone among the trees.

That's when I heard a voice -- it was not my voice -- roaring across the forest. It was not my voice: a voice more unlike mine has not been found. But it was my pictogram he bore. I ran towards him, and chased him, and saw I wasn't mistaken. I and a few others followed him, slightly stunned. He was a strange fellow: mostly he ran, but now and then he would pause, or dance: he didn't seem much to acknowledge us, or the fact that I am sure I am not the only one who saw themselves in him. I knew, of course, he was no other me -- just a very strange stag. But I followed him relentlessly nonetheless. After a while, I just wanted him gone. I wanted him to stop wearing my pictogram -- stop wearing my name, my own true name. I may not be much to envy, but I have that, and that alone, untakable as the poems of my heart. The thought rose like fire in my soul, filled me to the brim like floodwater. I think in that moment I wanted to cry, I hated him so much. And I think I must have loved him, too: the moment I thought that wrathful thought, he fell and vanished, and the loss of him went somewhere deep in my chest. After that, I went and wandered, and found a place to rest for a bit, and tried to make sense of things. I couldn't, and elected to return back to the space beneath the bridge, and rest there, heart still stunned.

I was joined after a while by Scape, and he was joined by a fawn. I didn't know who the fawn was, but Scape seemed to know him and care for him, so that's good enough. There were moments, I think, where I got a touch jealous -- perhaps not jealous, but more frustrated. I'm not sure I can explain why: there were just moments I felt so overwhelmed, that I just wanted to run away and get some space. But I wasn't about to leave Scape to do that. Scape seemed a little odd at first, as if thinking of something far away -- but considering what happened later, perhaps it was just me. We ate a little bit, and then -- well -- we cast spells. So many spells. So. Many. Spells. I never even did get my mask back, though Scape sneezed off his, and we ended up as poppy-antlered clones of him (I always got a little sad when someone cast over my poppies: each time I sneezed the new spell off, I was reminded that I was waiting for something to come and -- most likely -- break my heart.) However, I couldn't enjoy it long: the world itself seemed to begin to falter and freeze as it has in the past, and I decided it was better to leave of my own accord than be thrown out unexpectedly. So I said my goodbyes and went to sleep.

I awoke again a little while later, hoping that the world was back to normal and Scape was still around. He was, and with the fawn and a group, and casting spells. Among the group, sitting at the base of a tree, was a deer wearing Peyton's set. I know I need to be stronger... but everytime I saw that deer, sitting there, I'd remember the feel of that pelt's fur against mine, or casting those antlers on her doe day, and I just couldn't stand to look at her. I have never been so relieved as when that deer turned into a different fawn. The spell-casting and the group gave way to Scape, the two fawns, and I dancing, which later gave way to sitting. Until the fawn changed again, revealing Quad! We messed around for a bit with him, until we noticed a deer in one of the Carnival pelts. This riled up Quad a lot, and we spent some time listening -- I think for it. After a while, the Hex-pelted deer returned: the little fawn was frightened, either by its unnatural appearance or by its skull mask (I think the latter), and Quad and Scape just kept shaking their heads. Rather than just standing around, I led a slow-walk away, and then sat down for a quick break. We got up and did some Mexican Waving, with rearing and head-tilting. My joints were a little sore, so I wasn't as fast as I normally am. Then we followed the fawn for a little while: when we got to where the fawn was going (we assume), the Hex-pelted deer came back, scaring the fawn. This time, Scape and Quad started walking away first. I followed, still trying to shield the fawn, out of sympathy for its innocence. Then the fawn had to go, leaving Scape, Quad, a mini-deer who had joined us, and I alone. After a little breather, we began tree dancing. Not long after that, however, Quad had to go, leaving just Scape and I.

We began hopping through the forest, until we encountered, near the poppy patch, a shy deer. We eventually coaxed him over, however. I admit, I sort of envy shy deer. I don't think I'd ever have the courage to be so openly afraid. We sat a little while with the shy deer. Then I collapsed, and woke up elsewhere. I rushed to rejoin my companions. The shy one then took off, beckoning for us to follow, so follow we did, across the tall hills and mighty grasses of the Birch Forest. When we reached the edge of the blue bowl, we stopped to dance for a moment before the shy deer had to leave. For a few minutes, we were on our own. Until, of course, another fawn showed up! Scape seems to attract them like crazy. This fawn contented itself to dance and play for a few minutes, before it started to try and spar me. And then, out of the blue, came Wook: who also wanted to pick a fight! I'm but a poet, innocent as any poet can be: I'm a lover, not a fighter. What did I do so grievously offensive? What about me projects such a violent air? After I tried to disarm the situation with harmless bouncing, he ran off. Scape went and sat down, and I joined him for a while. While we were sitting, Wook came back, and I gave him a nuzzle to show there were no hard feelings, and so he joined us. At some point, though, he ran off and the fawn vanished.

So we began, once again, to run and hop our way through the birch forest. A deep, easy feeling spread through me, and I suddenly felt... Very safe. Like my heart had curled up around some warm candles in the Old Oak in the middle of a rainstorm, and all their is in the world is the dry of the firm, living wood of the oak and the glow of the light. We made it out the other side of the Birch Forest: the lake lay before us like a glittering jewel. We had practically looped around the entire forest today. We ran into a nameless, and played with it a bit, and then sat down again to take a rest. Then we got up, and began running again, until at last a weighty sleepiness filled me, and I bid Scape good-night.
Moss's picture

Eventful entry is eventful.

Eventful entry is eventful. Shocked

My deer's name is Tyerk~
*,--|

Aww...This one made me

Aww...This one made me really...feel for Seed D: I love him to pieces srkfjrhekj <3 He's adorable. Also the "shy deer" was Danielle, an antlerdoe of mine c'B She's wary of stags /longstory

-- Dannii <3
Pegasicorn's picture

The fawn was Oisín, one of

The fawn was Oisín, one of Paz's deer she asked for candidates to eventually adopt him. It hasn't gotten to that point, but Scape's got this protective feeling going on with him. He tends to act a bit calmer around the little guy, and was trying to reassure him that the skull deer weren't going to hurt him. Even sneezed his mask off to show it wasn't his real face.
And you already know who the "shy deer" is. XD;
But I didn't know that deer called Wook. Their aggression confused me. They were acting that way to another deer later on. o.o
Oh, I should add the one in Peyton's set was Pent. He has that set cuz it's closest to a pronghorn in look. And..he talks to trees. |D Just trees.

@Dannii: Ohhh. I didn't know Dannielle was wary of all stags now. D= *pets her*

---
The Dragonfly Deer's Biography
Pega's Forest Philosophy: "Look for Friends. Let Love find you."
"If you don't like something, tolerate it."
Moss's picture

WOOK. Wook does that. My

WOOK. Wook does that. Sad My apologies. He's not the greatest with communication, but "random" aggression is usually him trying to get someone to run from him- he likes chasing other deer. It makes him feel ah.. "big". Little man complex, I guess? But he'll try to make up for it later. u w u; He's not a bad guy, just odd~
He's also pretty fail at trying to scare bigger deer away from something or someone he's "claimed" and if they get too close, he retreats. Sad

My deer's name is Tyerk~
*,--|
quadraptor's picture

Sorry S33d, I didn't know

Sorry S33d, I didn't know that set was going to bother you. Like Pega said, Pent wears that set because it's supposed to make him look like a Pronghorn.

Why he talks to trees, even I don't know. Eye


Pega; c: If it's someone she

Pega;

c: If it's someone she is certain really won't hurt her, she's pretty okay with them once approaching. But strangers...yeah. You saw what she was like with Kinsha when that stag came along xD

-- Dannii <3
Pegasicorn's picture

That confused me then, but I

That confused me then, but I get it now. |D

---
The Dragonfly Deer's Biography
Pega's Forest Philosophy: "Look for Friends. Let Love find you."
"If you don't like something, tolerate it."

Yep, like Pega said, that

Yep, like Pega said, that fawn was Oisín. :3
He is frightened of the skull mask.
Also, he has a bad leg, so he has trouble running and walking, as well as jumping around or dancing for too long. So, whenever he used the "sad" emote followed by sitting, it just means his leg is bothering him and he has to rest for a bit.
At one point, he ran off because he was looking for a fawn he was playing with before, only to find that fawn was just sitting, and he couldn't figure out why it wouldn't respond. |3

Anyway, he enjoyed meeting Seed. Smiling

~Paz
deer: Amary, Melinoe, Oisín
Seed's picture

Oooh, lots of responding to

Oooh, lots of responding to do ^^

@ Dannii: Isn't he just? It was a good day to be playing Seed. It was even a moderately good day to be Seed, all things told.

@Pega: I hope that works out for Scape, then. It's about time he and Zerg start thinking about kids.

@Moss: That is a little odd, but at least there's no hard feelings ^^

@Quad: It's alright: as you already said, you didn't know better, and couldn't count on Seed showing up anyway. Besides, what's wrong with talking to trees? Trees can listen, and sometimes the little ones get lonely! XD

@Paz: Oisin is a very cute little fawn ^^

---

Click My Creatures Please!
kayla0154's picture

Hiya seed! =D

Hiya seed! =D