May 12, 2010 - 4:01pm — Seed
Last night started out...oddly. I was sitting alone for a while when Saosin showed up. He bowed, and I bowed back. Then he sniffed me and gave me a nuzzle, and offered to sit next to me by the riverbank. I have never much cared for Saosin -- he and I have, in the past, had less-than-pleasant encounters before. But, given that he is close to Nevilly, and that I have no serious grudge against him, I've always made it a point to be civil, and I've always felt he probably felt the same way. Other than a brief greeting the other day, this is really the first not group-motivated gesture of friendship he's offered me, or I him. As odd as it was, it also felt very nice. I've been feeling rather lonely since I got back; I haven't really seen anyone. I had been hoping Scape would arrive, or someone, but was actively planning on just sitting there, and was probably just going to end up feeling sorry for myself. If I had sat there on my own, I likely would have starting thinking very foolish, self-indulgent things. Things I know enough of the shape of to take a stab, but I'd feel awful saying and knowing that anyone, even people who would have no understanding of what I was saying, would read it. It was very nice, having him sit beside me. I think I see a bit more of what many of my friends see in him, which is nice on its own. I think that if things continue this way, we can be friends.
Then Scape arrived, waking up a little quicker than he usually does. I asked Saosin to excuse me as I went to greet my friend. While he had gotten up quickly, we were both feeling very calm today. Rather than our usual ruckus, we elected to have a slow walk through the forest, moving slow enough that the forest seemed full of the minutest things – where each tree or sunbeam had several faces to show us as we moved by. I felt a little more secure – the world had not changed in my absence, things were as secure as they ever were: the sun was warm and I had my friend to walk beside me. Before we went too far, we met nice fawn – at first, it seemed sad, so I invited it to come with us. It’s rare to see a fawn so well-mannered as to walk quietly with a pair of deer for almost the entire length of the forest the way this one did – so we formed a trio, without real direction across the forest. We mainly stayed to the First Forest, tracing our way along paths filled with moss-coated ground and mounds of wild purple flowers, stopping at least once to nibble some mushrooms as we went. We paused for a moment by Run's spotlight. I admit, I only recognize it when I’m looking at The Ruins when I see it; the rest of the time, like last night at first, I see it and assume it’s one of our many beautiful sunbeams until I see another deer’s reaction. So Scape once again gave me my cue, there. We bowed to it, and stood a while, remembering the past. I wondered how many deer still do that, when they come across the spot: probably fewer and fewer all the time. I looked to Scape and wondered if he was thinking the same thing, the way the world advances beyond old memories, even if they are important ones. The fawn seemed to recognize the solemn nature of the spot, and gave me a single nuzzle. As we approached the river, the fawn had to go. We didn’t let that stop us, though: we continued across the river and waded across the shallows of the lake, the water sloshing across our legs shockingly chill for this season and wiping away the dust from our walk. As we climbed up the opposite shore, I knew I was too worn out to continue, and so Scape and I said goodbye for now, and I went to sleep with my spirits greatly restored.
Seed seemed to be something
He's not usually
Ah, Saosin has been a bit
But that's okay with him now, he has nothing against Seed. And he's thankful for the company as well. It was nice.
That's what I always figured