December 30, 2012 - 3:53am — Seed
I found Lemon by the poppies this morning; she sat down for a bit when she saw me, sitting with Vala and another deer (Vala soon departed, but recieving that red nuzzle always makes me smile) but once that pause was over, she was off like a shot, leading me across the forest to a large mob of deer, all running about and playing.
At first, I was somewhat overwhelmed; I didn't know most of these deer very well, for one...For another...
Everything was the sound of hoofbeats, everything the roar from throats; everything, the rush of bodies; everything, the colors tearing and unfolding in the light reflected in the pondwater, mirroring and splitting in my eyes like the crystal fracturing of dragonfly eyes, breaking up like focus, tearing attention to ribbons.
It was something like that, anyway. After a moment's adjusting, a shifting of mental gears from single companion to many, I was ready to join in in full! I ran around with them, launghing myself across the river and around the bends of the pond, up into the Crying Idol where we all went red. Some of us broke off to form a dance line in front of Herla and Djinn, who merrily joined in when the rest of us entered into a swarming pseudo-pyramid of low, stacked deer.
After that, it was running as fawns. Seeing Lemon as a fawn is so nostalgic, thinking of those days gone by... It seems so long ago and yet so near -- the past is always closer when I feel it, rising up from my insides, filling any hollow bit inside of me with the smell and the color of some ancient day, as if it was new.
And with Herla in the mix, there was even a mini-fawn or two. So cute!
Somewhere in this, everyone set out; for whatever reason, Lemon cared less about following them, so I elected to stay behind. We ran our own way, taking back our usual forms, until Lemon found a good place to sit, rest, and say farewell.
When that was done, I was a bit at ends. Rather than depart myself, as I might usually...Well, I was thinking. Specifically, I was thinking...That I'd always sort of been intrigued by Herla, but usually found efforts to get to know her unsuccessful, or at least, painfully neutral. Since she was sitting with Djinn, I thought I might go join them and compose this. To my surprise, I was welcomed by both, and joined in the enjoyment of a fine little sunbeam. The radiant heat of it was welcome after the recent cold snap; it seemed like a slick golden blanket, a puddle of warm against the cold, wet ground.
After a while, we were joined by the doe from the playground yesterday, who I suppose I'll call Jade until I know what to call her better -- it is, I think, a reading of her name, or part of it. And we were joined by Verve! I don't think I've ever really met her during my adventures, but we've met once; I showed her a poem and got some advice. I really admired her work on a skull Sage has with her, and on other things (I refrained from asking her her progress on the surprise she'd mentioned to me; I've heard tell winter's a bit hard on her...Or did she say that herself? No matter.)
Their arrival got all of us up and skipping about; Herla spotted an old ghost, sleeping by the riverside, and was quite alarmed; I feel a little amused, and oddly sentimental, about ghosts. They belong to a forest long-past, and I can't help but be happy to see them in this one.
Herla and Djinn settled back down, but Verve and the doe (Jade?) and I continued prancing about and practicing our silliest of walks and jumps; I quite liked Verve's circle-jumping, but I managed my own version that was almost as good, I think...
And we, too, eventually settled back down in a line. I considered giving poor temperature-sensitive Verve a little extra heat by sitting closer... But Verve's doesn't like touching, it seems (or, at least, touching a relative stranger). She woke immediately and was off like a startled bird. I went up to apologize, realizing what was the matter only as I did so; she seemed willing to graciously accept my apology (or at least pretend to; how will I ever know the difference?) and went to sit on the opposite end of the line, where I had been before. I am truly sorry for disturbing you, Miss Verve. I'll do my best to remember that for the future.
The doe from before departed at some point...She's a mysterious person, but pleasant enough. Some time after that, I departed as well.
----
Written Later that Day
Later, the trees whispered to me in my sleep...That a certain little sister of mine (as if there was any other) was having a rough time of it. Like many of us, she'd become a sleeping beauty -- she went to bed and awoke the world changed, new and alien and empty...I've been there. Often, I sleep by dreaming of someone, and there, the sudden wake-up call in a splash of loneliness, a dagger in the heart...And the realization of no one to tend me. Malik is sitting next to her when I find her: I join her, and try and whisper into her ears that she is not alone. I think of her even when she isn't here, and carry her in a little nestled corner in my heart. If it isn't enough, I understand: in many ways, I know one person can never really be reason enough to keep going, to say you're not alone. But it is what I can offer my sister. That, and this...
When I think of the poppies, I still think of Payton. It's a certainty, an inevitability, sad and pretty as leaves taking their tumbles, trembling in the air. I think of them all: Virgil and Terrant and Payton and Peppa and Peepokeen so many others, fixtures of a long-ago world. Sometimes these thoughts are happy, and sometimes they're sad. Often, they're both, and they fill my body with the taste of raindrops, falling and filling the world with their silver color and their wintertime scent of dead leaves and fresh mud and tommorow's young seeds gestating in the ground....Like the rain, they leave me feeling empty and clean, and this is because... There is still a place in this world for those feelings, if only in my heart. Still a memory for people that mattered once. Those people still matter, because the thought of them still has the hole they nestled into in my heart. The feeling of them never left me. So, perhaps in some small way, a small and private part of them -- or, perhaps, of only me -- never left me, either (How melodramatic, I scold myself. How selfish, to think your feelings count for so much. Still...). I will cherish that feeling, for anyone I can, until the world ends.
Thinking this, in the poppies beside her, telling her she is not alone... I find the sensation of rain washing over me...And the sensation of rain on my cheeks as I look into the clear blue sky.
I'm glad Seed had such an
Haha we still remember that
Aw Seed, you meant well! Verve enjoyed playing with him anyway though
@Lemon: Don't worry about
Don't worry about it. It's good crying like a girl.
@Mis:
Oh, I know you do! Don't sweat it; we'll wait 'til you have your groove back just fine.
It was very nice to see Verve as well, I hope they can run into each other again sometime. Seed enjoyed it, boundry discussion awkwardness aside.