I had a dream about me pulling a string out from down my throat. Then I puked up my own cerebellum that was stucked to the string, which now was made of the flesh from my palate. Something similar once happended with my heart, and I panicky tried to swallow it again. Hahaha, that was so strange and unpleasant! Luckily I can travel back in time and undo things.

About today. I am going to be all alone, because my boyfriend have to work all day. He is filming wrestling shows. But he'll be back around 6, I think. But then he'll be gone again to watch football with his father an brother. So maybe I'll be a lot in the endless forest - out of boredom - to seek out old and new friends. And do some doodles of Mufazzal and such things. And go down the mall to buy a china box for lunch. Oh oh.

Now the easter holidays has come! Joy and warm weather to everyone!
Actually I am extremely tired because we were dancing Zumba in school. Amazing fun, and you'll sweat like a pig. Of course only if you do join the dance. Some stupid girls didn't put their heart into it. Maybe they where shy, maybe they where just lazy. But it makes me a bit angry.

But enough of the negative!
I've send my application!!! FINally! I am so happy about it!.. Yay!.. Horray!.. zzz. Hahaha, I'm just so exhausted!! And I'm doing laundry. And to inform you, we live on third floor, so I have to run up and down the stairs with the laundry. And some of it may not be tumble dried. So. That makes me run up and down the stairs four time! First to order the machines, second to carry the laundry down to the machines, third to put some of it in the tumble dryer, and to carry the non-tumble drying back, and fourth time to get the tumble dried. But it's great exercise! And then there will be fresh cloth.

And now my boyfriend came home, so I'll go out and say hello!

IS going to be the day where I'll send my application to the art akademi. Things always got in the way, like the missing picture, drawings and so on, and now I don't have a envelope big enough. But tomorrow I'm taking to the post office to get the envelope, the stamp and finally to send it in a proper way! And just before the easter holidays, like I promised myself. One day before, haha!

And pizza is the only thing I've eaten today. Except my oat breakfast, some melon, carrots and some cucumber. Thats a funny word. Cucumber. Actually I was still so hungry, that I almost ate a slice of pizza that fell on the floor. If it wasn't for all the people that would have seen it. Then I would probably have been called raccon girl, or dustbin, or something else the rest of my school time.

But now, I'll release Mufazzal into the forest and let him play with everyone he meets!

Mufazzal had great fun today. Actually that happends every day. Happyness all over and sugar sweet pretty pie. He was playing, dancing and relaxing with a grown up deer at the pond. It had the Mexican dead festival pelt on. I found the user via the map, but couldn't write to her/him because there was no blog.

Then you just write to me, if you wish!

My boyfriend is out filming a big scene to the short film/music video he is making for a band. And it's taking a very long time. Haven't seen him since this morning.

Well, when I came home from school I knew he was out, he's been very nervous about this great scene. I sat down doing thing that I am doing, for example the drawing of Mufazzal, which took most of the day!

But.. When the clock said 20:00 (I don't know the english time for that) something inside my head said *click* and I turned on all the light in the appartment and grapped my big cane to defend myself. I can't endure to be alone for a long time, and especially no at the night. I am too paranoid. But I did eat. A banana. No dinner.

Just now I got a sms from my boyfriend. his filming is going to take about another two hours.
Poor poor him being out working so long, poor poor me for sitting here alone, being more and more anxious for non-existing attackers or enemies, and poor poor our sleep.

Back to school, I felt sick this morning and couldn't eat anything. Now, I can eat a horse! If it wasn't because of the fact that I forbid myself to eat certain animals.

You can have my list of "Animals I don't eat" here:
Horses
Cats
Dogs
Hare
Rabbits
Birds (Except chicken and Pheasant)
Clams
Snakes
Lizards
Humans
Polecats
Seals

And other wild animals, I can't mention all of them. Deer is not on my list because I once had a piece of young doe meat, and it tasted so good! But I'll try to avoid it out of respect of Mufazzal and all the other deer in the world.

By the way, my project went well! I was a bit nervous and messed around with the words, but it was cool. Now I can relax.

Tomorrow we have this project where we have to pick a job and tell about it. I chosed to tell about a fortune teller, so I am going to dress up as one myself, just for fun. And I'll add some music by Dead Can Dance to my powerpoint. My project is going to kick butt! And it is going to be fun too after school, because I am going to the center for some oat for my breakfast - All dressed up as a fortune teller with markings in the head, earring, fancy cloth and everything!

And now, I'll check what Mufazzal is up to. He likes to dress up too!

Mufazzal is born with an endless caring nature and gives all his love to every deer he meets. Today, he learned that there exists deers that doesn't feel the same way. He got rejected a couple of times in a row. That's very hard to understand and overcome for such young creature. He then lay down at the estuary of the pond to think things through. He realized that he never saw anything to his playmates after they seperate. That only made him longing even more for a friend.

I hope he'll find one some day.

And news about Maria in the human world:
I am almost finish with my chair drawing! I am drawing a chair to sharpen my skills, and also because it is the last of 8 drawings I need before I can send my application to the art academi. Thrilled!!

Many kinds of mood in the air.

Since I am all new in this world, questions have been gathering in my head. Some had been answered, and some I figured out myself. But one thing I couldn't find anything about is those sun-like rings that unfold from Mufazzal when he communicates with other deers. What does it mean? I would love to hear it.

Am I the only one that can't find anything that could resemble a guestbook? How do people communicate?

By the way, I tried to find my totem animal outside by meditating, but I think it is still too cold. Summer, please!