It wasn't really worth waking up today, though the forest was as beautiful as always but not a soul wanted to play. After wandering around for ages looking for a deer I recognised, I spotted Saosin sleeping soundly in the grass i had to chuckle a little at the snores that were coming from the red stag and before I could catch myself I had woken him up and we shared a bow and a nuzzle before he sat back down and dozed off again. I lay down with him for a while, but eventually realised I wanted to play and he wanted to sleep so i let him be.

I found a group of deer not too far from the pond and I must have woken them up on the wrong side of the grass because they were decidedly grumpy, one even stamped at me when I tried get them to play and they weren't the only ones as not one deer wanted to dance, apart from a small faun which stayed with me for only a few minutes. I don't know what has gone in the forest it just seems a less friendly place with no one wanting to get to know new deer. Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Frankly.

I'm tired of being told my opinions/advice/posts are NOT welcome on something that effects the whole community.

If what the gods said were true and people keep sending complaints to them about all this harassment/bullying/trolling whatever you want to call it and they shut down the site or the whole game why shouldn't we ALL be able to post what we think about it, what we should do.

We are all capable of having a mature discussion about it so I don't appreciate being told to stop posting what I think about it on a public forum. This problem is not up to two or three people of the community to sort on their own or decide what is best for the rest of us.

As there are no official moderators I feel this community does a good job and moderating itself for the most part certainly more than most that I've been on but when there is a problem it was running off the the gods or everyone takes offence and falls apart over it.

I will admit I'm annoyed about the over reaction to the trolling when ignoring it would have solved a lot of grief and I probably wouldn't be writing this journal.

I know some of you think I'm just perpetuating this drama by posting this, but i'm tired of my thoughts and feelings being deleted because apparently there is not a debate on the subject.

Well there SHOULD be a debate on it, on what should be done by the community because this effects everyone if the game is shut down because people keep running back to the gods every time there is an incident in the forest that we should be able to sort on our own.

Flame me if you want, complain or just get it off your chest. I will try to respond in a mature manner or take my own advice and ignore and have a laugh you if you are turning into a troll.

Thankyou for reading.

I hope we can still be civil in game and my deer has not lost any friends because of my thoughts and feelings.

Im ill, i have a cold and now its a cough and i'm losing my voice and when it does work i sound all croaky. I'm like a frog. A sick frog...

But its my last day at work tomorrow and after I will be like proper freelance and im kinda excited but also ill and feeling yukky.

Work was weird, was on a 3 month contract and 5 days into it I got appendicitis so was in hospital 200 miles from home and had to stay there for a week and they gave me a 3 inch scar for my trouble then was off for another 3 weeks.

It made me wonder though, like 100 years ago and i might have died from it, and there was so much i havent done and so many people I would leave behind. Though this only occured to me after i had recovered abit...all i was bothered about at the time was whether i had any squash/cordial to put in the water. I hate water on its own makes me feel sick, though the morphine might have had something to do with that. Its wonderful stuff...makes everything feel ok.

Factor in 2 deaths in the family in the 3 months before that and its been a pretty weird roller coaster year so far...

(I'm not on my normal computer at the moment and have a dodgy mouse, you can be 99% sure that Ayal is not rearing or attacking you i've just failed in pressing the right emotion button. I think he scared some fauns today by accident.)

I woke up in the playground, the rocks stealing the warmth from my body now they had cooled down. They had been warmed by the sun when I had nodded off there yesterday afternoon. I stayed where i was trying to clear the fuzziness from my head, antlers feeling far too heavy as they tend to do when i wake up. Finally making it to my feet I stand and stretch out the kinks shaking my head to dislodge the morning dew from my antlers and taking slow steps as i make my way down the rocky terrain and off the playground.

I bellow into the still air and wait for a reply as I sniff the air trying to pick up a familiar scent, finally catching one and trotting off towards it slowing as I hear the sound of water. I find the little red deer Vala resting by a sleeping deer and after only a moment of introductions she has cast a spell on me turning me green and scaly. It does feel rather odd no longer having fur and as the new scales of the kirrin pelt begin to itch I sneeze it away and bowing to Vala trot off back away from the water only to stumble upon Stella with another deer.

I stop amazed wondering just who this stranger is, i've never seen the white doe with a friend before having always found her on her own. Its not long however before we are introduced and both of us trying to tempt the timid doe into some games. She rises to the challenge magnificently and soon we are all hopping around like spring rabbits and laughing so hard we roll over. I grew hesitant though as the prancing about took us closer and closer to the pond, the thought of going near such a large body of water terrifies me to the my core.

The forest has seemed quiet in the last few days, I've only recognised the trees there are lots of strange deer in the forest and after my initial meeting with the Collector since my absence I haven't seen him since. He seemed a little different at first, not quite as heartless or aware of his surroundings when he slept as I managed to doze next to him for hours. Several fauns started to approach with the hum of forest magic around them trying to provoke the sleeping phantom but I stood and chased them off. Normally I like fauns lovely bouncy little things but today I just wanted to rest, my journey over the past few months has been a long one and taken its toll and i just wanted to listen to the grass and the whisper of the wind in the trees.



Eventually I left the Collector and after bellowing into the stillness of the birch forest I sensed a familiar presence finally, I followed my instinct feeling the long grass on my legs and the delicate scent of the flowers that grow here. But the flowers were not the only pretty thing here...The timid doe Stelmaria - Stella barrelled right past me at first presumably not recognising me, I jerked to my senses and jumped after her calling her as she finally skidded to a halt behind a protective tree to see just who it was behind her. Her ears pricked up as she recognised me and a moment later I was by her side, she was just as I remembered slender and perfectly white apart from the black and red markings of her pelt.

As beautiful and peaceful as the forest was, it was time for me to leave and evaluate where I was going, what my purpose was and it had become increasingly obvious that I was not going to find the answer in the trees soothing shade or praying to the twin gods. So as I stepped out into the world I look a long glance back over my shoulder at the sanctuary I was leaving behind and after a moments reflection carried on walking.

I would look back again and again in the weeks to come and poke my nose into the dappled light but still it was not right for me to return, not yet. Things were still far too complicated as I said goodbye to my father and my uncle and I found myself distracted by any number things and people that needed my attention elsewhere.

But now it seems right that I should return and re-enter the forest a stronger and more world wise creature than before. I miss my old friends and can't wait to find new ones. I hope I was not forgotten completely and in turn that I can remember those that remember me. It seems a lifetime ago in many respects that I could play happy and carefree in the trees ignoring the wider world.

Keep an eye out in the forest for me...

Title ^

There has been some drama on an art community i got pretty involved in and I've been organising an evacuation of that site more or less to www.CGHub.com If you are interested in improving your art its the place to be at the moment, its a bit more professional than deviantart and while you might get some harsh crits they will be honest and you will improve.

Which is what i am trying to do hence my lack of activity here as im trying to do studies every day on top of my usual routine to improve my art with a goal of being able to draw people well without reference by the end of the year. I want to be in the art world and this is my way to it.

Feel abit stupid posting hiatus journal but figured i owed it to you guys to let you know even though im still a relative newb here.

Will still be around, if you desperately need me i'm kovah on deviantart and cghub

ttfn.

Revamping this: (Under construction)

Click read more

Is there a way to log out of the game without loosing your set?

Because when I logo Ayal out he looses his set and i have to copy my backed up spell data back in.

The forest was noisy today, even the wind seemed to want to join in with the cacophony of sounds from the deer that rose up between their trunks. The branches rustled with an excited air and the trees themselves seemed to creak with delight at the life between their branches.

I met up with mini Vala once again this afternoon having played with her and a doe called Light yesterday, which was great fun and so i had high expectations for today and I was not disappointed as we ran and jumped and sommersaulted our way round a small clearing. It wasn't too long before a small strange looking fawn appeared out of the trees, it seemed nervous hovering on the outskirts of our energetic group, so I approached slowly and soon gained its trust finding her name to be Swan.

She had a nervous reluctance to join in but i reassured her with a gentle nuzzle first but soon followed me to the ruins and we played in the fallen idols for a while before Vala and another mini deer joined us in an amazing game of Simon Says before we were so tired we just had to lie down.

I saw The Collector hovering around the ruins after masks again but decided to stay with Swan as the little creature had fallen fast asleep by my side. She was a strange looking fawn one cannot deny it but what does it matter, I had some insecurities about my own bony face back when I was young, I envied the other fauns with their soft downy fur that covered their faces but now i see that appearances don't matter, merely what is inside and any fawn that will play with me like Swan did I could not care less what they look like.