[ DEVELOPMENT 1 : Nirvana : 'Dead Man On A Hill' ]
November 20, 2011 - 2:34pm — Rutilus
DEAD MAN ON A HILL
INSPIRATIONS
"Simon was crying out something about a dead man on a hill." - William Golding's 'Lord of the Flies'
'dead man on a hill'
BASIC INFORMATION
The character's name is Nirvana. It seems to have various meanings; a blowing out, extinction, deep silence. In Buddhism, 'nirvana' is the end to the cycle of rebirth. I did not choose this name beforehand; it merely leapt into my head and seemed to fit.
Nirvana's name was suggested at birth by his uncle, rather than his parents. The reason for this is that his uncle did possess a human form, unlike his brother and sister-in-law; he was interested in Buddhism, having discovered it recently, and so suggested the end to all ends as a name, oddly.
The character is male. I have always had difficulty creating female characters that are not overly similar to eachother, and I do tend to lose interest in them very quickly, with a few exceptions. Male characters are far more interesting to me, and I enjoy playing them and particularly writing them.
Nirvana's gender was irrelevant to his parents. Although his mother had quietly wished for a daughter, it made no difference to her after her son was born and she treated him just as she would have had he been female. However, much later when she gave birth to a doe, Nirvana would start to have strong feelings of inadequacy, feeling that his parents loved their daughter more than him. Not only was she female, but she was the youngest and therefore Nirvana felt she was always being doted upon.
The character previously died as a b]young adult[/b] in the Forest; the equivalent, perhaps, of being in a human's early twenties. When he was brought back to life, he was at the same age, and seems to recognise this. However upon entering the human world for the first time, he became aware that he needed to find out his birthdate, so as not to appear suspicious to the humans. Rather than ask the Gods, he pleaded with the river's Crying Idol to help him, knowing he had been born nearby in his last life, and miraculously, it remembered; October 3rd.
The character's zodiac sign is Libra. This zodiac was chosen partially because I have never had a Libra character, and of course partially because upon researching it, it seemed to fit fairly well with Nirvana's character. Although there are traits associated with this zodiac that Nirvana most certainly possesses, there are also some that he does not. I have organised the traits into a list, followed by how well the character fits them.
Desires Popularity : Nirvana was never a particularly well-liked stag, due to his reclusive nature and occassional odd manner. However, he does possess a strong longing for friendship, and love of all kinds. He wishes to be liked rather than disliked, though is not always sure how to pursue this desire.
Loves Art : True, he has an eye for beauty. The character enjoys natural 'art' - the forest around him - and is always looking for new quirks and detail that he has not noticed before, be it in the trees of the first forest, the rocks of the birches, the water of the pond or the stone of the ruins. In the human world he has discovered a love for literature and music, though his preferred genres are not quite finalized.
Neat : One could call him neat, certainly, but he is by no means obsessed with cleanliness; after all, he is now a rotting corpse that allows itself to waste from time to time. Nirvana will neaten things where necessary, but does not make it a large part of his life, or a serious necessity.
Slight Perfectionist : Generally this is not particularly the case. However, were he to be working on something - an artwork, a piece of literature, a musical composition - he would almost certainly not stop fidgeting and fiddling and tweaking it until he was certain it was perfect. This creates a problem with Nirvana, for he feels that any work he does could always have been better and therefore is not often satisfied.
Charitable : No. Nirvana is reluctant to help others due to strong feelings of betrayal from his past life. He does not give what he does not want to give. The creature is obviously fairly selfish, and in time his feelings may change.
Bossy At Times : When he wants something done, the character will most certainly try and push others into doing it quickly and efficiently. Sometimes, however, he will try and boss those of 'lower status' or shyer nature around, just to see if it is effective.
Likes Attention : Nirvana craves attention to the point where he will do drastic things to attain it; start a fight, hurt himself, scream, run around crazily. Generally his actions in this sense are negative and attract negative attention, but he does not know how to attract positive attention instead. The stag craves affection, love, but has trouble acting in a lovable manner.
Dislikes Noise : He cannot stand loud noise, and never could. There is no particular reason for this that he can think of, and his hearing is no more sensitive than anyone else's - in fact at times it is far worse as he starts to rot. Nirvana either avoids groups of mooing deer, or runs over to try and tell them to shut up. If he himself bellows, he is most likely distressed.
Romantic/Charming/Alluring : Most certainly not, unless one is drawn to a dark, slightly twisted, lonely persona. Although Nirvana may quietly compliment those he wishes to be near, he is not a romantic or charming creature, and has no idea how to come across as one.
The character's species is that of an Endless Forest deer. He was born from a long line of simple, TEF deer, untainted by any other species, be it from the human world or elsewhere. I have never been one for having non-deer characters, nor do I make my cervines too naturalistic.
PAST LIFE
In his past life, Nirvana was always just a deer, never bothering to try and gain access to the human realm as his uncle did.
In the forest at that time there was a living legend of sorts, Mara, a mentally broken stag known to be beautiful and charming one moment, and then suddenly hideously aggressive to the point of bloodlust during his 'episodes'.
He was born on October 3rd, a small distance from the Crying Idol, by the river. Those present were his mother, his father, his uncle and his mother's best friend.
Nirvana's fawnhood was a normal one, though rather isolated from non-family members. He spent much of his time asking his parents questions and exploring the forest.
Often he would go to the Twin Gods' statues and pray to them, asking them to help him make new friends. Later in life he would ask for romantic love instead.
He was found to be a pleasant young fawn towards his family, though shy.
As a youngling, Nirvana went to the Gods for help constantly, and often he felt that they listened to him, though it was mere coincidence; he would ask to make a new friend, or that his mother would recover from illness, or that his stomach would stop hurting, or that it would rain soon, etc...
During his 'teenage' period, Nirvana spent more and more time with his uncle, who would become a source of useless information, laughter and comfort - and Nirvana's best friend.
Nirvana used to watch a particular doe, whose name he would never know, from afar. He would always chicken out of approaching her last-minute, the second she noticed he was there. He thought himself in love; only to be bluntly rejected when, at the end of her tether, the doe approached her stalker and flat-out told him to stay away from her. Here was the beginning of Nirvana's growing sense of rejection and unimportance in the world.
His sister was born. Nirvana's feelings of inadequacy grew as he realised his parents and even his uncle spent more and more time with the young doe instead of him. In truth this was because they had to help take care of her, and Nirvana was well past that age - but Nirvana saw it as them loving her more.
Nirvana had his first encounter with the 'legend' of Mara, seeing the stag being forced towards the metal cage in the ruins by those Nirvana knew to be Mara's friends. Perplexed, he wandered forwards to see what was going on - the second the cage door slammed shut, Mara screamed for the others to leave him. Nirvana fled.
Nirvana found 'friends' of his speaking about him behind his back, and though they were expressing concern for him, he took it very badly. The stag left his friends there and refused to return to them. He cursed the Gods for 'taking his friends from him'.
Nirvana gained a reputation, which pleased him, though it was negative. He was known as an unpleasant, overreactive stag whose demeanor was generally depressing. Upon hearing rumours that he suffered from mental illness the stag cursed the Gods once more for allowing such beasts to exist.
Nirvana's family were deeply worried for him, but he refused even to listen to his uncle's pleas for a discussion. The stag did not find it easy to open up and was reluctant to be seen as weak or inadequate.
Mara escaped from the ruins' cage and charged through the forest in a murderous rage, seeking prey. By chance he found Nirvana and attacked without warning. The weaker stag could not possibly defend himself and was left a bleeding, broken mess alongside his attacker, who had passed out beside him. Nirvana managed to drag himself to the Twin Gods in the hopes that they would save him. They did not. He died soon after when his infected wounds became too much for him, a curse to the Gods on his tongue.
Later, Nirvana would be convinced that no other deer even tried to help him. This is not the case. His uncle found the stag's bleeding, swollen body and begged and pleaded with the Gods to bring him back, to let him live again. At first these pleas were ignored; Nirvana's body was buried in the First Forest.
However, days went by, and each day Nirvana's uncle would rise, and plead for his nephew again. Eventually, the Gods spoke to him.
They gave one condition; Nirvana's life would be returned to him so long as his uncle's was taken in return. Nirvana's uncle agreed.
REANIMATION
Nirvana was brought back to life a long time after his death, for the Twins did not wish to return him to the present forest of the time, where Mara, his family, his lost 'love' and his forgotten friends still lingered. Although they felt that the stag was a selfish creature too quick to anger and assume he was being targeted, they did not wish to cause him more suffering - or his family and friends.
The Gods took the creature's bones from its grave, and placed them upon the grass at the feet of the marble statues. Slowly, they reassembled the skeleton; fashioned muscle and flesh and vein and blood and skin from their memory of what the stag used to look like. Then when Nirvana lay there fully-formed, looking as if he were alive, they gave him his heartbeat.
Nirvana found himself in excruciating pain upon reanimation; he screamed, he bit and struck and tore at the grass, he writhed in agony until eventually he was left numb. Unable to move from the shock, lungs burning with oxygen, he listened as the Twins gently murmered in his ear.
They told him what had happened to him, reminded him of his past; all the horrid little details, all of his sins and injustices. They told him how he had died, and that he had now been brought back to life as a second chance - but they did not tell him that it was his uncle's doing.
Nirvana's hatred towards the Gods still did not change.
The stag was informed of his true predicament, however. He was alive, yes, but even if his heart stopped beating he would still be living. His body would rot over time, and though it would not cause him pain his mobility and ability to function would eventually be limited.
Nirvana thought this a pointless existence.
The Gods told him that in order to keep himself fully 'alive', he would have to come often to them and coat himself in the sacred devout pelt, which would restore him.
Nirvana thought this a Hellish fate.
PRESENT PERSONA
Nirvana is a bitter creature. He still curses the Gods; he hates them, and yet he must submit himself to them in order to continue living. Often the stag will leave this act as late as possible, letting himself rot until maggots infest his walking corpse and flies start to buzz constantly around him. Eventually, however, he always gives in.
He finds himself constantly lonely. Never in his existence has Nirvana found it easy to become close with another, and he is deathly afraid of rejection. He fears letting others in, for they may exploit him and take advantage of the weaknesses they discover in him. Nirvana is constantly torn between wanting to be near others, and fearing it.
However, once a friend is made, the stag is likely to be quite clingy, even possessive of them. He is a jealous creature and will likely have strong feelings of inadequacy or unimportance if ignored, or less attention is payed to him. Nirvana is affectionate towards friends, certainly, but he is also not afraid to shove them around if need be.
Sparring is a disguise for him. Be warned that if he engages you in a 'friendly' spar, he most likely has his eye on you, waiting for a weakness to present itself so that he may use it at a later date. Or, alternatively, you have given him reason to be angry with you, and he is merely taking it out on you without making his ill intent obvious.
He is not one for fighting those he does not wish to fight for the sake of another. Nirvana is one of the few creatures that can simply stand by and watch another get hurt - unless, of course, the attacker has done something to displease him. Nirvana has no concept of 'fighting fair' when he is the one attacking, but if many are attacking him, he will of course feel he has been treated very unfairly.
He hates the Gods, and will most likely be very judgemental and hostile towards openly religious creatures. Although the Gods gave him life again, he feels that they took it from him, and returned his Gods-dependant existence just to spite him.
Although he loves beautiful things, he also envies them. Feeling that he himself is not a beautiful creature, Nirvana may spell-cast on other deer to make them appear uglier, and therefore make himself feel better in comparison.
Unlike others, whose past trauma may lead them to avoid a specific place, Nirvana does not fear wandering the ruins where his attacker once trapped itself. He may even sit inside the steel cage from time to time, when he is in a calmer, thoughtful mood.
Nirvana adores darker weather - snow, rain, night - but abhors fog and is not overly-fond of sunshine as it increases the rate at which his body rots.
The stag can often be found sitting atop hills and watching the rest of the world go by. He does not, despite his fairly unpleasant nature, get possessive of these hills and will welcome anyone that sits by him.
APPEARANCE
His artistic appearance, as well as his human one, are as of yet undecided. His inforest set will most likely change frequently for now.
IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS
Mother : Elspeth
An endless forest doe. She was known to be a stubborn creature, and quite proud, very rarely asking help from another creature. Elspeth did not like to speak about her emotions too much, but she did not have a problem communicating, as long as it did not get too personal. She did possess a dry sense of humour and found it easy to let things be as they were, knowing hard times would pass.
Her appearance was not overly unique. She was a plump creature, though her legs seemed too thin to support her body properly; 'stick' legs that her son would inherit. Her set would have consisted of the Magpie Pelt, Monarch Butterfly Mask and Long Antlers.
Father : Zachariah
An endless forest stag. He was, like his mate, stubborn, but not as proud. Often he would ask others for assistance in matters where his mate could not, ignoring her furious embarrassment with him. He shared Elspeth's sense of humour, and had a sunny sort of optimism about him. 'Come what may' was a common saying of his. Zachariah feared the unknown, however, and was reluctant to take large risks or try and explore new places. This fear was what led to his disapproval of his brother's ventures out of the forest.
Zachariah was not the most handsome of stags, nor the strongest. He was lean, built for speed more than strength. His set would have consisted of the Golden Butterfly Pelt, Beluga Mask and Beluga Antlers.
Uncle : Jeremiah
An endless forest stag with the ability to venture into the human world. He spent a great deal of time in the human realm, finding it intriguing and building up a new parallel life there for himself. Jeremiah was an eccentric sort of fellow; blunt, fidgety, unafraid to say or do controversial things. He had a way of reassuring people, however, when they were anxious or upset, even angry. Jeremiah was a popular fellow, and his brother's best friend. In contrast to Zachariah's catchphrase, Jeremiah constantly preached, 'do what thou wilt' sometimes jokingly and sometimes seriously.
He was a fairly handsome stag, as stags go. His build was similar to his brother's but thinner, scrawnier, which he would joke about frequently, calling Zachariah the 'bigger stag'. Jeremiah's set would have consisted of the Long Mask, Secretary Bird Pelt and Gazelle Antlers. It is likely that Nirvana's later set choice was based upon his uncle's.
Sister : Eliza
An endless forest doe, daughter of Zachariah and Elspeth. She looked up to her brother and was always trying to follow him around, only to be rejected. Eliza grew to be a playful, welcoming creature, yet still she managed to keep others at arm's length. She was influenced by her father heavily and although stubborn was not affected by pride. Eliza would later take 'come what may' as a saying of her own.
She was plump like her mother, but a beautiful creature, which fueled Nirvana's envy of her. Eliza's legs were not stilt-like or too thin, and she held her head high as she walked. Her set would have consisted of the Light Realdeer Pelt, Carnival Mask and Golden Butterfly Antlers.
Murderer : Mara
A psychotic, endless forest stag. Devout follower of Velocity. Avoided the ruins like the plague until his episodes hit. He was an alluring creature; mysterious, beautiful, as many monsters are. To those that knew him well, Mara was not an unpleasant stag, just a little unhinged from time to time, and of course terrifying when he rampaged. No-one would have thought him truly capable of murder. He had never expressed a desire to kill any living creature when calm and clear-minded.
Mara was a large and powerful creature, though could not run for long periods of time due to weak lungs. His set would have consisted of the Fan Pelt, Kabuki Mask, and Key Antlers.
OPINIONS/QUESTIONS
I'd be glad to hear them.
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