May 5, 2012 - 6:21pm — BluedeerLegend18
Under cut for a huge amount of text.
I understand if you don't feel like reading this all, but for those who care...
I love you all. You are my best friends, and I look forward to coming home from school to be on here. You're all nice, friendly, and mature, unlike many other communities, where almost everybody is an underage 10 year old who are so immature, even for their age.
My father says very bad things about this place, saying that it is unhealthy and that you aren't my real friends. I've learned from this place that you can have friends that are many miles away. You don't have to see a friend in real life. A friend is a person who you have fun with, always brings you company, and will always be there for you and will never let you down.
I just want to say that you guys changed my life. Before I was an immature and lazy crybaby. I remember myself when I was in the Fourth Grade. I'm not going to list all the things I did, but... oh god, I was just. so. immature. It was inappropriate even for my age. And now, my reputation at school is ruined because people remember who I used to be and still think I'm that way. I remember first walking into this place, not knowing that it would change me.
I'm much more mature now. I still mess up at times but that's just because i'm a person. The Endless Forest has shown me the way of life and how things work, and just... Thank you. Thank you so much.
You guys probably don't know what i'm talking about. You're probably sitting here, reading this, and thinking, "Oh no, just shut up. We didn't change you, you probably just grew up or something." If you are thinking that, I know for sure that it had to do with you. You are all mature. In fact, the only mature ones in my life. Everybody else I live with is so immature. And to make it worse, I have to go to school, where everyone is 12 and talking about dirty jokes and laughing at the most stupid things. In fact, they always make this stupid joke that I'm a cat murderer. It insults me so much! Why would I kill such an innocent creature! They even joke that I killed my pet cat and wear his pelt! Why do they think that's funny? That isn't funny, that's dark! It depresses me because I love my cat so much, and they think that I'm a heartless murderer and I killed him! What the crap! But you all have a great sense of humor and would never joke about that.
I can't really explain. I just know you guys changed me. See... I live in a world where everyone around me is immature, and I tried to be the same way thinking that was how life worked. I hated it, hated my life. But then, I found you guys. With a mature group in my life, I realized I wanted to be this, and not like the 12 year old boys in my class.
Just... thank you.
But I also should apologize. I turned this place into a war zone once, both purposely and accidentally. I didn't mean to do everything I did and hurt everyone, I just have this big problem... See, if you were looking for words to describe me, interpersonal would NOT be one of them. I have a hard time being friendly with others. I've said things in the past that I thought would be friendly and helpful but turns out it was hurtful to the other person.
I just... can't live with the fact that I've done so many horrible things here. I know, I already apologized, and it should be over and done with, but I have a really hard time getting over things. That's why I'm considering leaving. It might not happen. It might happen.
Thing is, I agree that TEF has changed. Now there is drama and arguments and horrible fights, not just in roleplay but with the users here. I've only been here for a year and I've seen change. And for some weird reason, I think It's all my fault the Endless Forest isn't what it used to be.
I just... want to reset the game, you know? Just... let us all restart, go back to the beginning, try again. But I can't do that, so I think the best to do is leave before I cause any more drama and war. But I'm not sure if I should leave or not.
But that's not the point. The point is, I love you all. You've changed me, and I am thankful for that. I love you. Never forget that.
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I'm sorry this just popped up suddenly. Right now it's a bit hard for me, with so many things going on. I'm just getting random mood swings and weird emotions, so I'll probably be writing strange stuff like this for a while...
♥ I agree with all you
It's not necessary for you to
But it's easy to step back out of the community site for awhile, and just play TEF the way it was originally intended - no opinions, communications, biographies... Just deer in the forest. That's as close to a "restart" as one can get, and frankly it's a pretty good deal. It's much more relaxing when you don't know who everyone is, and realize you don't need to in order to have a good time. ^_^
Anyways, you don't need to worry about anything. Drama happens with everyone, and I never remember any of it anyways, so it's all good ^^
You weren't that bad? Not
Plenty of people seemed supportive/forgiving.
You're alright though. I never thought less of you either way, when I seen it all going on.
You're not a bad person really, at least what I've seen here.
Don't over-think it. (:
Hey there. No worries, even
We're all human, we all make
The Forest has changed over the years, as everything changes. But please don't think that you were the one responsible for it. Just think of how many people are in this community, it's always going to evolve based on new discussions and such that pop up.
But one thing stays the same - we're not just a community, we're family. Yes we have our arguments, our drama, but we also still love one another all the same. I can certainly agree with you that I would not be the same person if I had never come here.
As far as what's happened in the past, don't worry about it. It's wrong to hold a grudge over something that happened long ago. Just as the community and the Forest changes, we grow as humans and are never the same person we were back then. If you had done anything to offend or anger me, it's been forgiven and long forgotten.
There's a good Buddhist teaching, "Live in the present moment." It means not to dwell on what's happened in the past, and not to worry to much about what will happen in the future, but to just focus on what is going on right here and now. I remember once I had a very hard week in school to worry about - tests every day, I had to go to work through most of it, and so on. I remember thinking that it was going to be a horrible week, and then taking the Buddhist teaching to heart, I slowed down and focused on each day as it happened. So then it went from an awful week to five days of minor inconveniences. Before I knew it, Saturday had come and I had the whole day to relax and enjoy.
*Nuzzles* You always have a home and a loving (though sometimes dysfunctional XD) family here.