June 7, 2009 - 11:34pm — ocean
It was supposed to be a relaxing day. A normal day. By the Gods, I cannot shake this feeling. This feeling of death...despair...darkness...
It started out fine. The normal morning routine. Nothing special. Then it all started to slide downhill.
I slipped. I admit it, I slipped. I allowed myself to be taken by those silly adults, dancing with such joy. Fools. How can they, when there is so much pain and sorrow in the forest? So much pain. I tore myself away from them, rejecting their games. Too late, I'd already slipped. I'm supposed to be pure, an example to other dwellers. What will happen if I fall even deeper? What will happen if I make a more grievous mistake?
I ran. I never run, but I couldn't stand it. I fled from them, to the Gods...I needed to beg their forgiveness. Or was I begging my own? But...it didn't work. I couldn't forgive myself. Then a fawn appeared. They brought me back, prayed with me. I was saved by a fawn, his purity. That fawn saved me...from the wrath of the Gods? Or myself...
I was calmer now. The fawn had brought me back. I walked briskly towards the Crying idol, not sure exactly why I was going there. One does not question the pulls of the Forest. Suddenly, there was a fawn in front of me. Another one, quietly curled up against the rain, looking frail and vulnerable. My heart warmed and I sat next to it. "I'll warm you, little child..." I whispered silently in its ear, though it came out as a soft snort. It did not awaken, but warmed up. I lowered my head over it, shielding it with my bulk, frail though I am as well.
I nearly fell asleep right there...but something awakened me from my trance. A pull. One does not question the pull. I stood and nuzzled the fawn absentmindedly. Something was calling me, and it wasn't letting me go...I trotted forward, but the call was more urgent. Run...RUN. RUN! , it called, insistent, urging my hooves forward, forward. My stomach turned. It seemed that the darkness was thickening around me, catching me in its trap. I knew that I had to go.
Just when it felt as though the darkness might kill me, I suddenly burst through it, into what seemed to be the light. A tiny fawn stood in the clearing, water falling upon it. I approached with caution and sniffed it. The tiny one bowed and nuzzled me. So cold...I remembered the earlier fawn, sleeping. It was warm...I cowered. Something was wrong about this fawn. Very wrong.
The fawn kept coming. It bowed to me and I cowered. Then I walked forward...and through the fawn .
I quivered and shook, trying to realize what this meant. What...Why...My mind was racing through the other fawns. They were warm. Warm...And I couldn't walk through them. No...Not another death in the Forest. The Gods had promised us, promised that it would never happen again. I broke into shivers, harder than before. But I couldn't stop following the fawn. It wanted something...but...I couldn't understand. A scratch, a nod? Then anger, rearing...it ran off. I fainted on the spot.
I awoke, collapsed in a heap. The pull instantly returned. I followed again, coming upon the fawn. I quivered, but something stuck me to the spot. I approached fearfully, and the fawn nuzzled me. So cold...So cold!
That's when it really hit. I broke. My calm shattered and agony pierced me like a knife. This fawn could have been any of the others I had met. One of the ones who had saved me. One of the ones who brought me back. Instead, she was cold, so cold. I kept my tears under control, but the weight of her death was pounding in my skull. She probably didn't even know what had happened.
She came again, seeing my expression. Darkness clutched at me. Another deer, a dark, dark deer...No time to deal with that one. He might have committed evil things in the past, but not now. He had been nuzzling the fawn and playing with her. For now, I'd let him be. The fawn nudged me and I felt her, cold again. But this time, I wasn't so afraid of her, for some reason unknown to me. She calmed me down. Another fawn, another savior. I sat down beside...her? Him? Gods...I...It was so...innocent. Beautiful. Pure. To know what had happened was killing me.
Another deer approached...Calm, quiet. He sat a bit away. Moved a little closer. My trance was broken with the fawn. The darkness of the deed done to the fawn, the darkness of the other deer. I couldn't take it. If I stayed here too long, I'd be crushed. I cowered, shaking my head. Go away, all of this. Go away...I disturbed the other deer. They were staring at me. Staring...Empty stares.
I ran. I hid. I couldn't take it any more. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
-The Priest.
O^O -- Dannii <3
-- Dannii <3
*pats Danii* Er...Hope I
I love how you so vividly
I'll be writing from my deer's perspective soonish.
Thank you. ^^ ! I'll look
Beautiful! I love this, and
I love how you emphasized how cold she was. Perfect. You have a lot of talent, I really really like this. The fawn is happy she inspired someone.
This is wonderful, thank you for writing this!
wow.. great job! I wrote
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I'm a little wolf inside a girl.
Lightbringer-apprentice to Yorres
Thanks! I love your fawn. <3
And thanks again! xD I'm glad you like it. The Priest is glad to finally gain a bit of understanding (I was hoping he'd find out what happened soon. I just didn't think it be THIS soon. xD).
Sure.
Thanks! I'll go look up