"...When you're still waiting for the snow to fall, oh it doesn't really feel like Christmas at all..."
~ Christmas Lights, Coldplay



This is Brehach, he's Silver Bells' (me) adopted father. I've neglected him lately. ;n;
Brehach's Biography

My health update, why I'm waiting... Is under the cut. Cus it's a lot. lol

Well, for any of you who might have known about me being sick ...Yes, I still am. The seizures are worse and my digestive system is still refusing to work. I picked this song because I'm also in a period of waiting, for me it's a diagnosis. And I wish it was Christmas. Summer is so miserably hot and sticky blehhh and the stupid mosquitoes... I'll be going in the hospital soon. I don't know for how long, I'll post when under the Miscellaneous category just so you won't wonder if I got sucked down the toilet. *snort* lol x) ANYWAY... No, I haven't gotten any better, and I'm beginning to wear thin emotionally and physically. And, I would just like to ask for you guys to pray that this all comes to an end soon. I'm not going to preach to you, just talk about stuff that’s been going on with me. And simply say that as a person who's been undiagnosed for about four years, my faith that God has not forgotten me is all I have to hold on to at this point. I've been tossed from doctors here and there and they've tried and been unable to help. Anything looks better than another month, year, of this. But, I've been unable to attend church and so I've taken up reading Bible lessons at night. Which is something I should have, but have never done. I don't know why. I'm certainly not the person to look to for Christian example. And the term "Christianity" is certainly confusing now days I'm sure. It's been so warped. But the way I look at it is, it's not a list of do's and don't and thou shalt nots or how old the earth is 5bajillion or 5thousand or Methodist, Presbyterian, Baptist, Friends of Jesus and what-have-you. I find that trivial and distracting. It's not something to burn people at the stake for or wipe out natives or rant with posters about and be aggressive over. It's meant to be a close relationship, between an individual and God because you believe his son died to save you. And it's one I often abuse, take for granted, and ignore. Badly. But when you get knocked off your high horse and you can't do anything to help yourself, it tends to make you abandon all your swag run to somebody else for help. And that's exactly what I've done. lol I am swag-less. And after all the poking and prodding and questions from doctors I'm certainly personal information-less also. LOL xD But anyway (I tend to be scatterbrained hdgfcbkqnc)... If it wasn't for my faith that my God, my adopted Father, hasn't forgotten about me like I've done him so many times, I'd be in a much worse state emotionally. I feel like that's why so many people desperately desire a daddy, even if you have one, most of us are still left wanting something more. We're starving for love, and then we feel guilty about it. I mean we all want somebody strong and secure. Nothing in my life is secure right now. I'm definitely not strong in any sense. I sit at my desk like a little sad grouchy hermit doodling my little characters... lol (Yeah I'm definitely the Cancer zodiac. rofl ) I'm just glad that no matter what happens, I've got somebody to fall back on who won't boot me out for how crappy I am. And when I lose my swag and get dirt on my butt he’ll dust me off and clean me up and send me back out again like daddies are supposed to. Lol Little swag crab. xD But......... Yeah. I’m just saying all of this because once in a while I have to get it out of my system. I love you guys, people here are so nice. Putting up with me and my computer ignorance. xD bahahaha All my never-ending questions and occasional vents. (LIKE THIS.) But, these are just my thoughts and views. Not intended to rile anybody up. lol

Gaaaaahuihgbnvlq ng I’m done going to sleep now. x_______x