16th??? of Ma;y, 2089

You can find the wolf glitched into a tree, his existence broken. There's no escape.

Another day to be spent in this place, where nothing seems to happen. The life of the hunters and the prey presumes as normal, with no hindrances. The white powder that previously covered the land is all gone, the sun mercilessly forcing the rest of it to vanish. The intense burning of the sun against my dark fur has returned, and it means that it is time for me to step out of my hole. I have gathered strength during the past weeks, living on the small prey that I can find and the occasional forest bird that's dumb enough to land near my hiding spot under the large rock in the Birch. It has surprisingly worked well for me, and I've been steadily putting on weight. I feel strong and confident, healthier than I've been in a long time. I feel as though I can go after something bigger this time. I won't be finding any lone fawns this late in spring, but I can definitely stalk the young and the females if I manage to find one alone. And it seems like I am in luck.

There's a lone female standing just near the river (Jennie) as I head down the stream for a cool drink. Black, not as black as the night, but the blackness of her fur is something deep that I can't grasp. Her antlers have sharp thorns in them which make me nervous about my approach. Behind is the best approach that I can think of - if I just manage to stay quiet, I won't be noticed.

Quietly, paws as light as the wind, I circle around the trees around her, making sure all the parts of my sleek body remain undetected, kept safe by the many shades that the trees provide me. I move and watch, eyes locked onto my target. There's something strange about her whole appearance that I really can't seem to grasp, (r???u??????n????? ?????y?????????o???u?????r?????? ??????f???????o?????o???????l?????) but the vibrations that I receive from her can't make me lose my appetite. If I manage to take her by surprise, her flesh will be mine. I can almost taste it.

Waiting for the exact right moment to attack, my ambush is quick and accurate. N????o????.????? My teeth pierce her hips, letting out that tasty - wait, what? I????t???'????s????? ???????n????o??t????? ????b?????l?????o?????o???d????.??? ????T??????hi???s??? ????i???s??? ?????n??????o???????t? ????n???o??????r??????m?????a??l??? ???????b???????l???o????o????d?.?????? While it makes my hunger worse, it also disgusts me - what was this? Why P?????????l????e?????????a??????????s?????????e???????????? ????????s?????????a?????????v?????????e?????? ???????m??????e????? How is she even fighting me back,,,,this is not possible.

I rarely manage to recover from my momentary shock, when the doe attempts to defend herself, moving like a - moving like a what? Her movements, her burning eyes. This was not normal. What is this? What is this that I'm staring at? I do not have time to think, I have to F??i??i??i??I??I??I???I???I?g???g??g???h??t, before it's me who ends up being the dinner. The bloody red, thorned antlers keep trying to shove me and wound me, and a fight begins, both of us defending our own E??xi??s??t??e?n??c???e??? I begin to think this was not such a great idea...

Neither of us is ready to give in, and I can barely notice anything about our environment anymore. The details become blurry... I'm only fighting to save my hide and murder this beast. My rage gets a hold of me, but there's also De??s???p?e??r???at?i?on???.

I can't even see the doe's face well - I see strecthing, bellowing and spikes, as if she is detaching and reattaching herself constantly. The teeth twitch in a strange manner. Not even a being close to death twitches like this when they're nearing their end.

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???? ???????M????y????? ?????w????o??????r???????l??????d??? ??s?????h???a???t???????t????????e???r???s??????
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The w?or?d?s? b?e?come? n?ot?h?i?ng?. M?y ?s?ur?ro?undi?n?g?s, ?the?y ?b?e?co?me?-?--?---?----?-?
What? ?i?s thi?s? b?e?a?s?t?,? ?w?hat ?a?m ?I ?se?ein?g. W?hat? ?is ?th?is th?a?t? I? am? ?ex?perie?nc?i?ng?? ?A?l?l? ?the? l?ig?h?ts?, t?hey ?bl?u?r..? ?th?ey b?ec?o?m?e? ?br?ig?ht?,? ?i?n?c?om?prehe?n?s?i?b?l?e?. Strange hieroglyphs of nonsense--- all I know is the fight

I?????s????? ???i????t?????? ????s?t?????i??????l????l?? ?g????o?????i???????n???????g??? ????o????n?????????? ???I??? ??h????a??v????e?? ????t????o???? ???g??????e?????t???? ????a????w??????a???y????
???B??????u?t??? ????I? ????s???t??il?????l???? ?f???i???g????h???t???
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??I?????'??m ???d??????i??????s????g???u??s?????t??e??d.??

I?????'????m?????? ????????s????c??????a??????r????e????d?????.???????

I???? ????w???????a??????n??t????? ????t????o? ??s?????t????o????p?? M?????o?????o??????o?????v???????i??????i?????i??n????g???g??????g??????

E?????????R???????????R????????O???????????R??????????? ????????????E?????????R?????????R????????O?????????????R?????????? ???????E?????????????R??????????R?????????O???????R????????????

28th of April

I wake up, my stomach growls. How long has it been since I last ate? It must have been days since I had anything decent, and it shows. My power is waning, and I have lost a lot of weight. I'm pretty confident that I can squeeze out the necessary strength in me to attack one of the larger creatures around, if I could only find one that walks the forest on its own. The sounds that my stomach makes make it hard for me to stay undetected, and most of the deer seem to stick together in small packs. It's hard to find any suitable prey. The deep scar on my chest is still healing, but it doesn't wear me down as much as it used to. It's finally time to step out of the shade and find something to eat.

There's only one creature in this Forest that's sitting on its own - a big deer with large antlers. (Eliah) It seems to be observant, sitting on its small hill, looking peaceful. Although my legs are shaking anxiously as I see the size of the creature, it can't be immortal. It's the only one I can find that is not in any visible company, so I may have a chance if I ambush it from behind. Only it is that my stalking and sneaking are really lacking, thanks to the awful growling sounds that come from my stomach. The hunger irritates me to the point of I'm easily found out. (Rhaegal, u suck.) The big deer is immediately much more attentive, and it seems as if he's making sure that I can't get behind it. I can still make this work if there'll be no distractions, since based on my calculations I should be faster than the prey - those giant antlers look really heavy to carry, and the size doesn't help him, either.

However, I'm quickly interrupted before I can even find a good angle, my plan is interrupted by the two that were sitting nearby - too near. (Sloane, Kiosydan) They're only trying to greet me, but I don't have time, I don't have the desire, I don't have the energy for this - these creatures scare me. One of them has those human features for a face. They both follow my movements closely, not letting me into a comfortable position where I would have a chance to take the giant beast down. Time after time I run a little farther, only to be followed. The headache starts, the desire to attack one of these creatures instead - only the fear is stronger than the irritation that I'm feeling. Can't these creatures see that I'm scared, and hungry? Or do they want to protect their friend? I'm too tired to know, or care. Finally, the smaller stag chases me away, leaving me a few bruises in the process. I back away, ultimately making my escape. There's no way I can stand against three.

The hunger becomes painful to bear, but I have wounds to tend to. The water and gentle strokes with my tongue will help. Some horrible whining as I race back to the spot I have claimed as my den.

Just a few moments later - I can't believe my own nose. A sharp, overwhelming smell enters my lungs, a scent I recognize so well but one that I can't say I miss. The brown stag seems to be walking once more, his hooves stomp hard against the floor of the birch. Those who are dead can't come back, but ghosts do not leave a scent behind. I'm puzzled, am I hallucinating? Is my hunger causing me to see a vision that is not real? It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened. I know for sure that it was me who finished him off with that final blow, I felt the warm blood gusging through my claws - the stag can't be standing here. It is just my mind. It has to be. Even more strange, my own hallucination seems to be offering me food - a stinky koi fish from the forest's pond. It smells disgusting, and I don't even like fish, but what matters most is that I will stay alive and acquire strength needed for my next hunt. I quickly pick up the gift offered, slowly nod and return to my shade by the rocks, but I'm still utterly confused as to what is going on. The Leader taught me that when folk die, they truly go away, to someplace we can't reach. I know that Fibonacci once told me that the gods of this place were able to create life from nothing, but I still don't understand the laws for that statement. Can something so powerful really exist?

My headache is worse, my head throbs as if it was clawed by something that I can't see. I'll have to take a nap.

25th of March

Now that the fatal battle is over, I have spent the last days tending to my wounds. I have no knowledge of medical herbs, nor do I understand the complicated formulas of magic, but I can do my best to prevent the wound from getting infected by remembering to clean it up every morning. Since that day, I have not gone outside of the rock's shade much, as I want to avoid any unneccessary conflicts. This has been surprisingly succesfull, and I am now a free wolf, free to do as I want to. Not feeling well enough to go after large prey, I'm mostly keeping myself on the verge of life by feasting on small animals that are stupid enough to get caught. The rain has ended, which is good.

After finally daring to go for a stroll around the woods, I bump into Zenaida, the Alpha, after stopping on a hill to witness a battle that was going on in the distance. I immediately act very recessive and meek towards her, knowing my own place is far below her. GOT ANTLER CHEW'D, but I don't care about it - the female owns me, and I am hers to command. I watch her play with one of the Forest fawns, still confused as to why she'd choose to befriend these people that our kind would consider "prey". Will not question alpha, however. That would have been a death sentence.

I fall asleep as I am getting sat on by the female, clearly showing my resignation. She owns me - but there's no way I can tell her about anything that I've done in the recent weeks.

11th of March

I wake up, and it's bucketing down from the sky. I stretch out to chew my own leg in displeasure for a moment - the rain may wash away my scent, but it still feels really unpleasant on my fur. The only places to take shelter in here are the tree and the little den in the direction of the body of rocks, but both of them seem to be occupied. It has been a while since I last ate, and that measly rabbit wouldn't keep me going for a long time anymore. Even though the weather is like this, I have to hunt today. Otherwise, the strength will escape my body for good. A little reluctant, I get up from my spot and start searching for suitable prey. Hopefully it'll be a juicy, fat deer this time. Not a fawn.

The strong, sweet smell of spring keeps trying to distract me, and I feel a strange urge to just lay down and roll in one of the muddy puddles that are dotting the Forest floor. I remember it's one of the things that I used to do with my littermates when we were mere pups - I remember we found it fun. Perhaps that is where this desire originates from. How foolish, memories cannot be relived and this is only a waste of time. Cursing the playful, curious nature I was born with, I try to focus my senses only on the rumbling hunger and the pain in my stomach. I must feed, playtime could come later - if ever. I'm not a child anymore.

The impact of the rain makes my work difficult, as the water seems to be washing away scents of living beings and bringing up scents of itself as well as the grass, the smell of which now more intense than ever. It's overwhelming and annoying, yet it arouses feelings of excitement and renewal. Spring is almost here, a time for all of the world's forests to rejoice in a field of green. I can hardly wait to feel the sunshine touching my belly once more.

I bump into my lunch by accident. At first, I'm staying hidden and keeping a close eye on a group of deer walking around the river. (Virgil, Khtar,Vee.) I originally planned to attack the old, scarred deer, but I spot a much easier target nearby, one that is actually approaching me. It's one of those deer that do not have a name nor a purpose in this world - what a poor fool. I make quick work of his frail body. The flesh of a nameless is not to my tastes, but I've learned to cope with anything I can find. To me, this nameless and its sacrifice is my saviour, it saved my life. Dragging my lunch to a private spot in the woods, I begin my feast. The rain numbs the taste a little, but all in all it gives me an advantage. The wind is carrying the scent of blood away and so is the rain, so the forces of nature are on my side. It's one glorious feast that I have, while the rain continues to pour down against my fur.

After taking a short nap to let the food digest a bit, I head for the Ruins. Why? Perhaps it was my nose, my ears, my heart or my fate that led me there. In any case, a part of me knows what I will find there, what and who will be sitting on the pillar. The brown stag, Xarxes, the one that still remains a nasty sting in my pride as a hunter. The prey that evaded death by my teeth twice. The reason why I can't sleep right.

Despite the rain, he notices me, or perhaps it is the massive aura of hatred that he senses inside of him. We stare at each other, neither of us unsure what to do or what moves to make. I'm not sure how much time passes like that, us just staring intently at one another. Each minute, each second and each breath adds to my boiling rage - I'm doing my best to control it. There's only one way to solve this though. We both know, I think. I show my resolve by running at him, and making a small bite mark on his leg. If I am honest, I expect him to run away, being a coward like before. He doesn't - he's ready to accept the duel. Duel to the death. It's the only way to solve this, and to return my honor, or the stag's safety. I growl, swearing to win this for the honor of all wolves. The stag seems to utter something about the outcome turning out as the Gods have decided, but the blood boils in my ears, my body thirsty for a battle.

An intense, gruesome battle between us begins. I know my body is frail, that I can't take a hard hit. Knowing my weakness, I take advantage of my size and speed compared to the stag. I run around, making small scratches and bites while he's still confused over where I am and how to hit me. I slid in a little amount of poison at a time - I still need to maintain most of it so I can deliver the finishing blow when needed. I can't make the same mistake as last time, I need to make sure the brown stag dies. Despite keeping this in mind, my hatred is strong and makes my body burn with the need to just tear his flesh right off from his body while he's still alive. I start to take unneccessary risks as our battle in the rain continues; I manage to leave a deep, gaping wound in the stag's side, but at the same time I'm getting kicked in the head. My bandage flies off - my vision is clearer now. In return, I tear off the stag's mask. We can both see each other's faces, and the hatred that defiles the hearts of us both. No, neither of us can forgive the other one, it's too late.

We continue, our bodies becoming covered in wounds, both light and deep. This is one of the first times in my whole life that I actually fear death, and I can see it becoming that much closer as our bodies clashed together. A loud scream escapes the brown stag's mouth as I take his right eye - in return, his antlers sink deep into my chest, creating a wound that causes me to bleed fast. I bite him again, this time putting in a larger patch of poison than the previous one. We both continue bravely, exceeding our own limits in order to win. I am the first one to collapse from the blood loss, and the rain stings my wounds like poison - quite ironically. The brown stag's pain must have been a hundred times worse though, and soon he fell down too, having seizures and nerve failures thanks to my venom. For a while, everything around us is quiet, if not counting our panting and noises which could be indicating our deaths. Yet it seems like neither of us are afraid of dying - we had a purpose and maybe we both have fulfilled our parts on this earth. However, it seems like I'm the one that has the strength to go on. Though it makes every joint in my weak body to fight back and ache, I manage to get back on my feet. I look down at the brown stag, slowly making my way towards him and ordering him to get up and fight. It seems like he can't - the pool of blood continues to spread under him, he's clearly dying.

At first, I am reluctant and unsure whether I should put the last of my poison, the strongest one to finish the brown stag's life. An image of the fawn's frightened face flashes in my memories, and it makes my head ache with the guilt I'm still feeling. If I kill the brown stag, would that mean that I'm taking another innocent life - a decision that would push me onward on the path of a murderer? I'm hoping he has the answer. It seems as if he's made his peace with leaving this world - he tells me that he has no regrets. That he lived and died here, in his home - that I should just do it. Not like I had a choice anyway, as he would suffer a painful death from my poison if I just left him be. The brown stag has fought well, and I consider him an important rival I managed to win. Carrying out his request, I collect all the poison that I have in my body to my teeth, and finally bite his neck.

Just like that, the brown stag's soul leaves his body, just a bloody, torn husk is left behind. I stand above him, staring at at those eyes which are now lifeless and glassy - soulless and dead. "You fought well." I whisper to his ear, knowing that his spirit is still near, listening. With that said, I raise my head towards the sky and howl, the mightiest howl that I've ever performed. It is me, Rhaegal the wolf, that has become the winner of this rivalry. My honor is now returned, my pride once more complete.

It'd take a while for me to recover, but my heart feels at peace. It is over, may the brown stag's soul rest in peace. Here, in his home, his heartland.

1st of March

I woke up in my usual place, the quiet shade in the Playground, the spot where the sun can't reach. I find the spot safe, I feel it is secure enough and does its job to keep me hidden. I just don't want it to happen again - I don't want to end up killing another innocent soul. That's why I have to keep myself hidden like this, so that no-one can see me.

However, the feeling that urges me to step outside is immerse hunger, a pain that twists the organs inside my belly. It's a feeling most unpleasant, knowing you haven't eaten for a few days. I feel so hungry that it makes me feel sick. I have to eat something and fast, if I don't want to damage my body further.

Jumping elegantly on one of the rocks, I desperately try to look far into the trees and the many bushes, hoping to catcha glimpse of a rabbit's leg or perhaps hear a bird's chirp. The Forest seems unnaturally quiet today, and my concentration is soon broken by a possible threat.

I turn around - and what I see instantly puts me on edge. It's another wolf, another canine! At least, a part of it is - I have no idea what else to call it (Zenaida). Judging from the scent, it's a female. I'm not entirely sure what it wants, but as I am now, I couldn't care less. She is interrupting with my hunt, perhaps even attempts to steal it. I'm suddenly very territorial, my ability to properly analyze the situation clouded by my intense hunger. Furthermore, this is another canine - it's a challenge. I start to growl at her, taking small steps closer to intimidate her away. The other one doesn't want to listen, instead, she shows signs of hostility as well, spits and growls at me. My headache grows worse as I try to warn her one last time - to no luck.

I snap. I do just the thing I promised not to do again just a few days back. I attack her, try my best to make her submit. It turns out she's protected by a stag with giant antlers, forcing me to go around him to attack. I'm lucky that the stag is slow, but him butting in into this is annoying me - this is a fight between two canines. I scratch his legs a little, running around and making sure I bite Zenaida hard when I have the chance to do so. She's no pushover - I'm getting stabbed by her sharp antlers more than twice. The battle is fierce, the area around the rocks soon dotted with our blood.

She runs away, and that should have been the sign for me to end the battle. I can't seem to think rationally, I can only see the other canine, I can only see her shape and all I know is that I want to make her bend to my will. Everything else seems so..blurred. My aggression has once again reached an uncontrollable level, the only way to stop me is to hurt me.

Finally, a kick from the female's strong leg pushes me over, and I hit my head to the ground, furiously panting. I've been beaten.

As I slowly get up, wounds and head aching like crazy, I slowly realize what I've done, and I run away, loudly whining in displeasure. Just what am I doing? I should be much, much stronger than this. Acting like this is just.. pathetic .

I know I need to apologise, so I sneak back to the female and her stag companion, making sure she sees that I'm lower than her. What a fool I had been to even think that I could be the alpha of this relationship. She makes sure I know my place, she marks me and shows strong signs of her dominance. I accept it, sitting next to her. I don't fight back as she gnaws at my horns - this is how it was meant to be.

She's the alpha, and I must obey. The female even provides me with a rabbit - I am eternally grateful. I don't deserve this treatment.

22nd of February

I give up on my hunt for the brown stag - my experience with killing the fawn has left me somewhat afraid to show my claws around these deer. I should even try to befriend them, not back off every time I see one of the creatures approaching me. I have to grant myself a right to approach others, following my own free will. What Fibonacci said was right - I am not in the mountains anymore, so I am free to follow my own path. To find out what my own rank is.

I see a strange little deer nearby (Doves) who is in the company of a skull-pelted individual (Skremmende) At first, I dare to do nothing else but follow them around for a while, staying hidden in the shadows and behind the trees that I find scattered across the way. My dark fur makes it hard to be camouflaged in this snowy environment, so eventually I am noticed by the skeleton. I am shy, afraid to make any gestures to approach, so I instinctively back off, making small growl noises to show my nervousness. However, the stag persists, his actions are smart and careful. I am grateful, immersely grateful, and return the friendly gestures. I do not have such luck with his female companion, however. I try to sniff her, to give her a friendly lick on the face - but she keeps running off and around, trying to confuse me. It depresses me a little - I just wanted to be friendly.

Is my exterior, me being a predator, the only thing which they can see? Tail tugged in between my legs, I run off, deeply hurt. It stings like a wound inside of me, my self-loathing increasing.

7th of February

I spent some time in the Ruins, not seeing a sign of the brown or the orange stag. For once, I feel refreshed and calm, not having to spend my every minute thinking of suitable ways to dispose of them once and for all. I just sit in my spot in the sunlight, enjoying the unnaturally warm day that the deities of this realm have granted the Forest. I'm starting to enjoy my life in here, as there's plenty to eat and having to share a territory isn't a problem. It's not like anyone can escape this place, so keeping a territory is next to useless. In fact, predators who would fall to such acts were nothing but pathetic. Where was the fun when you'd have to share all the deer anyway?

I was wishing for a carefree, peaceful day, but things never go my way now do they? There was a lone fawn who was dead set on making friends with me. With me? At first, the naive, foolish attempt was nothing more but another matter to laugh at, until the buckling decided to go about his way and come sit next to me. Several times in a row! No matter how far I tried to escape, no matter how harshly I told it to stop, it was a persistent little fool. I wanted to show the fawn its place, I wanted to teach it a lesson it would remember for the rest of its miserable life.

I ended up killing it. I hit it too hard, I suffered my first attack of uncontrollable aggression. I ended up murdering an innocent soul, who's yet to see life. Blegh, not like any of it mattered now. I just want to forget it happened. I need to dispose of the corpse - I need to hide what I've done. And I need to do it fast.

I drag the defiled, numb corpse all the way to the Pond from the Oak where I first struck it, and throw the body into the cold depths. This has to be the end. I don't want to discuss what I did, but I let it be printed in my mind as a reminder. Let nothing like this never happen again.

Unfortunately, I am caught by a stag called Fibonacci, who feels suspicious of me. Gladly he hadn't seen the whole process of the killing, so I believe I can sneak my way out of this and sputter a few lies to cover for my actions. I'm just disposing of the body so nobody has to see it, yeah. That's it. I'll be the hero in this story, the wolf who saved the body from further defilement.

However, the pressure kept building inside of me, and it was about to make me mad, the increasing need to confess my actions to the stag. Eventually, I do, relieving my heart of the burden. I'm free, once more, free to move on from what I've done. I swear, for my own honor as a hunter, that something like this shall never happen again. I eagerly await for the silver stag to lift his blades, to slash me open in the spot - but the attack never comes.

I am spared, for I am not a demon - he says. Foolish, foolish stag. In my heart, I am grateful that I'm granted the gift of life, though. I get to see another day in this Forest, I have the privilege to breath its fresh, winter air.

[RP in progress.]

24th - 25th of January

Another failed hunt, my concentration today is poor. I manage to leave my marks in the prey's backside, but the pain doesn't seem to slow it down at all. Only a small amount of poison slids into its system. Becoming extremely frustrated, I try to find something else to do. The hatred doesn't burn as strong as it did a few days ago - maybe I am beginning to cope with the situation.

What made the day special was the amount of young deer and pups that I noticed playing together in one of the patches of flowers. Some of them seem to be siblings, the rest are friends. (Lina, Jhorla, Skysight and co.) I am treated fairly negatively by most, but it is understandable. I am a big, intimidating predator to them. The white puppy, Lina, catches my attention by being kinder than the others. It really perks up my mood, and I stay around to watch over the youngsters. Maybe they find my presence uncomfortable, but at least they do not run away. Watching them play is like therapy to a mature beast like myself, and I can't help but to wonder where their parents are. They'll be raised poorly if they are not under constant supervision.

20th of January

The hunt continues, and I have learned to ignore the pain. The brown stag needs to die, I have no time to relax in the sunlight anymore.

The snow makes my job harder, as my paws sink into it. Walking is hard, and the cold enters my lungs when I try to take a breath. It's painful, but it distracts me from feeling the pain in my sides. My leg is now fully healed thanks to the herbs I found stashed in a pit earlier, though some of them made me incredibly sick. It was worth it, though. I am ready to hunt, and my senses are sharp. Even the hunger that I'm feeling is completely forgotten by the anger. The feeling of being mocked and humiliated by the stag.

Finding him isn't a problem, as I know exactly where he is. Where he always is. My body leads me to the prey, without even having to put much effort into it. The brown stag is sitting on a stone structure growing from the ground, like a fool. Why was he not hiding? Maybe I have overestimated my prey alltogether. Perhaps he is a fool.

Or he is mocking me by representing himself in such ways.

The unpleasant feeling in my throat turns into an aggressive howl as I launch my attack. The stag never seems to fail my excitement, leaping out of the way in an elegant manner and running into the woods for shelter. How foolish, I can clearly see and smell the prints he leaves in the snow. Though he tries to distract my path, there is no fooling my nose. Once again, I remain steadfast and focused. There is this one time I'm sure I have him. I lurk in the giant tree, and though the quiet humming sound makes my senses tingle with fear, my focus remains on the brown stag outside. He comes closer to the oak, not suspecting a thing. Fool.

I'm so close, my claws touch his hips. They leave a small mark, but the stag gets an adrenaline boost. It's so fast, I can't hope to catch up in my condition.

I head for the rocky formation again, frustrated that today's hunt is another fail. I try to locate him one more time, gazing down from the rocks and smelling the wind in hopes of catching a hint from his scent. Luck is on my side, but not for long.

He's in the Oak, but he has company. The other stag - the orange one who hurt me earlier. I don't dare to go closer as I would have no room to escape if the situation required, so I just challenge the big stag, hoping to lure him out of the tree. We engage in a battle - it is a tough one. I let my instincts to survive take over me, so my mind blacks out at this point. I become the beast I was born to be, clawing furiously at the stag's legs. I even manage to bite his throat, but the contact only lasts for a second. Not enough to inject the poison to his body. Not like I have enough, the stag is too big and my toxic has run out for a few days. Once again, I am defeated by those antlers. Nothing is broken this time, but my sides still hurt from the last time. I am forced to escape.

I need a proper plan.

19th of January

I have recovered mostly from the damage the orange stag has caused, but the anger doesn't go away. I want revenge for what happened. I need to seek out the brown stag and tear him apart to satisfy this burning feeling inside of me. Though there's pain in my leg as I swiftly move to my target and the bone in my chest crackles as I breathe, I am only driven by this feeling. The brown stag has humiliated me, made me look like a fool and a poor hunter. He is my prey, and can't be forgiven until I see the spirit leaving his body.

My movement is clumsy like a pup's because of my injuries, so I am noticed fairly easily before I can get to the stag. It doesn't matter, the chase has begun. We race through the whole Forest. I follow his scent while he hides, and he is wise to do so. I commend my opponent for being smart. A few times it is close, my claws almost bringing him down. But he is fast and smart. I am unable to catch him today. Yet my anger has cooled down to tiredness and excitement. I don't like my prey easy, anyway. I will catch him later for sure, now that I have learned what he is capable of. Hopefully he recognizes me as a worthy opponent.

I return to the strange stone structures, looking for a place to rest and analyze the way he manipulates my brain. There's something he does that keeps him a step further from me. A strange stag arouses my curiosity, especially its scent. I am hopelessly drawn to anything that is unknown to me, and I want to forget my frustration for a minute. The stag ( Christian) doesn't appreciate my presence and backs off, which confuses me. I don't want anything bad. Can't you see the way my tail wags? It wants your friendship, it wants a friendly gesture back. Yet the stag avoids me, and I understand that my own behaviour is probably scaring him, but my curiosity towards him is unstoppable. Why does he smell like this? Why does he act like that? I chase him for a long time, before giving up. I am deeply saddened.

Two does ( Chain and an unknown one) come to pester me. Their actions scare me, they confuse and annoy me. They see what they are doing is damaging me, yet they choose to continue and make fun of me and my fear. I don't like them one bit. I growl at them and run away, only to be followed around like a hunter that chases its prey. Am I the prey now? After I turn to attack them, they are suddenly polite and remember their manners. When you meet a stranger, the first thing you do is sniff. That's common knowledge.

The brown stag is mocking me, sitting like nothing is wrong. I chase him away, threatening him with my poison. He is lucky that the chase is over for today.

16th of January

The faces unnerve me, but I try to adapt. I find that they leave me in peace if I don't cross their paths. So I find a shadowy spot near the warm wall. My fur enjoys the sun - I feel like a young pup, curled up against its mother's milky stomach. My paws reach to the skies as I stick my tongue out and wag my tail in delight.

Peace is broken quickly by others. An endless flashing of fur, antlers, faces and colours. I become confused and find myself trapped in the spot I favored moments ago. How do they dare! I try to make them to leave me alone and show them I am scared. My plead for peace goes unnoticed - I am surrounded by faces I don't know. They seem as confused as I am, but I know they are laughing at me. I need to get out of here. Suddenly someone appears. I see an image of silvery hair, as the stag leads me away from the crowd. At first I am equally scared of him. I do not believe he cares about my stress. But he shows me the spot in the open and sits. I am confused - until my brain completes processing the situation. The prey has seen my pain and has shown me a silent spot. He introduces himself as Pontus. Pontus. Strange name - I can't spell that. Still, I am thankful for his behaviour and allow the prey to sit with me. I will remember his scent, though it irritates my nose.

I am soon chased away from his side by a group of female deer. Even though I try to cloak myself in venom and growl at them the best I can, my plead is ignored. These beings just can't take "no" as an answer. I have to run away. I hide behind the stones that emerge from the ground until danger has passed. It's the first time I notice the brown deer sitting inside the cage. Why does he enjoy it? Cages are associated with bad things in my mind.

Soon I am attracted by a foul scent coming from the stone pillar - a scent that makes me back away in disgust to protect myself from numbing my sense of smell. I climb on top of it to investigate, before I notice all the sleeping deer next to me. All of them would make easy prey - but I don't enjoy it this way. It seems as though they are untouchable when they drift off. Like there is something protecting them.

My silent request is answered - someone smells me from behind. I flip my tail to protect myself and feel it touching the stranger's face. My face forms a grin, as I hear a slight cough from behind me. The brown deer from the cage is now infected with my venom. I watch from a short distance as the stag's cough gets worse - as the poison starts to take over his whole body. He shakes, drool covers the ground under him. I watch and wait. One final seizure comes over the stag, before his mind goes blank and he passes out. Silence befalls the cage, it is now safe to approach.

The poison on my tail is not strong enough to kill a grown stag, so I have to add more with my fangs. Without the slightest hint of hesitation, I bite the deer's leg, receiving the first taste of the prey's blood. It's warm and delicious, encouraging me to rip the stomach open and start my feast. I am proud of my eased victory, and I can do nothing else for a while but to stare at my prey and watch its life slowly escaping its body.

Suddenly I am interrupted by a loud noise. It is a scream of terror and anger, directed straight at me. I raise my head just enough to see a giant stag running towards me, its antlers lowered as to attack. My legs feel the need to escape and return to the scene later, but I do not want to let my lunch go that easy. The orange-furred stag pushes me aside in a maddened rage with a swing of his antlers, making me crash against the wall. Air escapes my lungs and terror fills my head, but I am now angered. THE BROWN STAG BELONGS TO ME. I aim for the orange deer's legs, but I don't manage to bite him - instead I feel a strong hoof hitting my forehead. I can hardly recover, as the hit is followed by another. This time I scream in pain as the antlers break one of my ribs. The next one breaks my foot. One more and I could die. As the stag finally backs off, he talks.
"Get out of here - or I'll kill you." His voice sounds angry, yet there's sorrow attached. I don't understand why, but I understand the prey is letting me go. I am no fool - I can't win this battle. I have lost before it even properly began. I am forced to run for my life, with my tail between my legs.

Perhaps I can return to the scene later, as the brown stag is still going to die. Or so I seem to think, until I notice him up and well again. What has happened? I scratch the ground with my claws as I understand. The orange stag is a healer.

I am noticed, as the stag comes after me. I limp away in pain, chased far away from the ruins.

As I feast on a weak deer my poison has managed to kill, I try to analyze the situation.

I will not forget this.

9th of January

Distressed. Why is everyone so happy? Nobody stops to help me nor gives me another thought. They look through me as if I am air and continue their mindless playing. Still hungry.

I touch the pond and try to drink. It's cold! Colder than the snow that surrounds me. How can I drink this? So many puzzles to solve and so little time. I run as I see the young deer bouncing towards me. I don't want their help - their faces scare me. I run to the giant rocks, I calm down. The silence is soothing, only the wind is blowing through the trees. I am alone - and I find it to be good.

7th of January, 2015

Arrival in the Forest. Hungry, confused, scared. Why am I here? As if I am supposed to know this place. I guess place doesn't matter as long as there's something to eat.

Grr.. the smell of fawns. Yet these are different from the ones I know. These fawns have faces. Actual faces. Confusion, unsecurity, fear. Can't eat, the fear is making me sick.

The fawns aren't afraid. I think their faces are smiling at me. They are not friendly smiles. They circle around me and poke my body with their paws. No, not paws. Hooves. Irritated, angry. I begin to growl, my temper fading away to nothing. I don't seem to care. Fawns finally become intimidated and let me go.

I'm alone.