Batflower Doe

Liliac's picture
Name: Liliac

Date of Birth in the forest: 20/06/2011 (geminicancer)

Nature: The Fool.

batflower doe (Butterbrot)
avatara (narcissistic me)

Kind, naive, sensitive, eccentric and very playful, a lot more animal than human.

all friendly creatures and plants, weird manifestations of chaos, warmth, comfort, purple colors, sleeping on lotus leaves, tumbling, tenderness, dancing with crows, drinking deer blood, to turn into a bat, to caress rotten sides of zombie deer, to wrap around trunks, to sigh and sorrow without reason, to live with an open putrid heart, to rely on instincts, to live for a day.

loud noises, endless nightmares, cold wind, heavy rain, shouting in the face, rudeness, arrogance, those deer who do not respond to a bow, the voice of the old tree, thinking about the future and waiting for the end of the world.

pond, bald hill near the cemetery and shady forest with violet glades.

tender, slender, weak and soft (13-22).

Sad human mask, antelope skin, default antlers with lilac flowers. (*)
May become brown (*) or rip the skin off completely by passing through the soul of a crying idol.
When the cold arrives, she grows gray fur and soft, skin-covered hole-ridden antlers.

bipolar disorder, oneiroid syndrome, dissociative fugue, blood animism and many others.


1. The Golden Mask.
If she sees a deer wearing this mask she falls into stupor. (If she didn’t, it means she was looking somewhere else or on some other, less horrible part of terrifying-masked monster). When someone accidentally (or intentionally) attaches this thing to her face, Liliac will shook her head and attempt to rip it off with the skin, completely forgetting that she can simply remove it.

2. Nightmares about Bisha-ga-tsuku.
Waking up in a cold sweat, Liliac rushes in panic to disguise the nearby sleeping deer, camouflaging them so that they would blend in with the surroundings and Bisha-ga-tsuku won't find them and wouldn't pull out the silver thread of their wandering souls.

3. Rabbits and squirrels.
(This phobia is weak and appears only from time to time)

4. End of the World.
Fear of the end of the world drives Liliac into sleepwalking, in which she rides on the belly, her legs folded, her face on the ground into journey around the world, indulging in gloomy reflections about the structure and shape of the globe of the endless forest, and then, upon waking, to test her deplorable theories looking to the sky from the highest walls and trees within her reach.
This phobia had its positive aspects. That's how she proved to herself that in this world there is no sun and got rid of much more dangerous and self-destructive psychosomatic disorder.

5. Glowing crosses.
Discovered upon meeting with Torrak (I sincerely apologize for the strange Liliac's attitude towards this wonderful deer, it is nothing personal, it's just somewhat hard for her to look at his shining name).
This phobia is the most incomprehensible and inexplicable.

Relatives: beloved brother Kost and a few bats.

Angel (kikistar2) - good confidence, the needle of a caliper.. It's so nice and fun to play under her care in concentric circles...
Eira (Janet) - BBF, active side of the joint schizophrenia, a bloody dinner companion and favorite nightmare.
Flyleaf - soul of the madmen, faithful companion of chaos, the first unfamiliar adult deer, who played with a little Liliac.
Gina (Lidochka) - the joy of being awakened by touch of the skull, attention from her is captivating ... it's never boring together.
Kayla (DeltaDeer) - secret, fear of being boring and tactless, wish of understanding feelings and .. to warm.
Leyawiin (MoonAngel) - intuitively dear creature. In the dreams I see him as a hypnotic purple eddies of warm golden glomerules within.
Rikka (RikkaChan) - very close creature for some reason .. unconscious quiet joy, a strange deliverance from the eternal fear of life.
Ruing (DeltaDeer) - catching interest for life, fragile nocturnal beauty near which you can be not ashamed of your childish nature...
Rumen (Amazegenalo) - the one to share pleasant mood, a cure for distrust of the outside world.
Star (point) - balm for a bat's soul, longing for the starry sky.
Tieff (W0lfclaw) - shaman-guide to the birch forests, introduced me to his essence, helps to love it; a white cloud, where you can quietly fall asleep.

Familiar: Babetta (my alter ego)

True Love: Anchor (MoonAngel).

Liliac Tale

In a pathless virgin forest near a broad, deep Moon Lake lived a wise, old and fair deer-sorceress, with fur whiter than the milky fog. For a long time she was blind (many years ago, a human hunter dug out her eyes in order to sell them as a valuable alchemical ingredient), but this did not really bother her.

Her antlers had grown so wide, that they covered the lake shores, intertwined with the branches of the lake willows and somewhere rooted into their trunks. In the mornings they were covered with dew and were gently watering the insects. During the days creatures that hide from the sun found refuge under their shadow, in the evenings fogs wound around them and in the nights they caught the souls of the sleeping flying past.

Each day at midnight her quiet songs convened fairy bats, and she gave them to drink a magic elixir made from her own blood soaked in moon-golden tenderness, lilac inspiration, and mysterious dark purple feelings, extant since ancient times, and she was waiting for them to hang on the twigs of her antlers and sang them stange ballads she knew long before the age of man. Bats, in turn, brought her juicy, silky grass with dark-blue flowers and shared with her the feelings of creatures whose blood they drank.

Every noon her sharp-verse spells convened ravens and she fed them pieces of her dying flesh, soaked in memories of thousands of years and fresh black conclusions directly from her eye sockets. Ravens brought her in return various knowledge, particularly concerning witchcraft, and shared the most recent news. Thus passed years... Although the time in the woods was flowing as quiet as the breath of snails sleeping under the leaves, the woods were changing: the old trees fell, and from under their rotten trunks new trees grew. The doe was a powerful sorceress, and her body was aging so slowly that she could live quietly until the end of time. But the news brought by the birds were getting sadder, and the feelings brought by bats - spoiled more and more. With time her antlers began to grow under the ground because of depression and penetrated deeper and deeper for many years, until one rainy night, when she felt strange vibrations of someone's voices…

So much despair and so little hope was in them, that the already depressed doe felt that she could not bear the burden of life anymore, yet the love she felt to the forest continued to keep her alive. The bats, birds and fog still lived in her antlers, and at nights flying souls still entangled in their branches. One day she felt a very gentle touch of ectoplasm. She looked over her antlers with her inner sight and saw two pale, twisted little shades, strung on a sharp incrustation, shedding something viscous in a quiet endless agony.

Usually the sorceress read emotions and memories of the souls and left them hanging until the arrival of the Craving or until their complete dissolution into other, unknown worlds but the feelings of those shadows were so beautiful and sincere, that her sensitive heart considered it a crime to leave them without attention to the will of the Bisha-ga-tsuku slinking in the shadows, that lately bred so abundantly in the mist over the lake.

The sorceress looked in the past: the souls belonged to orphans. Little brother and sister, who fell asleep out of cold and hunger in a distant unfamiliar world, under a bridge, in each other's arms. Their life was thorny and, apparently, they decided never to wake up.

The doe understood them. She was ill. Terminally ill. The voices had already virtually driven her mad, and her powerful ancient magic began to slip from under her control and cause terrible irrational things to happen in the forest. The sorceress knew that the longer she will live, her antlers will grow, the worse will become the howling and the more nightmarishly the force of her mental anguish will change the world around her. Death was necessary, even desired. But before leaving, she decided to do one last good thing in this world: to give these children a new life. But she did not want to trade bad for worse, and she had to find a place where the children would feel much happier than before, and provide new bodies for them, appropriate to this new place. Although the web of her antlers caught images of thousands of worlds, it wasn't hard to choose because she spent her own childhood in one of the best places in the universe, in the marvelous distant deer woods devoid of evil hunters, vermin and even discordant evil magic. (Memories of the forest darkened since once herself, a young, curious and impertinent, was driven out by the spirits of putrid worms enraged on her passion for necromancy.)

After her antlers had ingrown into the lake shore, the repentant sorceress' chance to return to the lost paradise was gone, but now she could at least hope that someone will be happy for her.But creating new bodies for the little shadows wasn’t an easy task, it required time, and the Grim Reaper doesn't like to wait, especially when invited. She couldn't use ready material - relatives visited her rarely even before, but in the last few years they feared the Moon Lake like fire. Infected with despair magic, it didn't seemingly changed, but the deer that came nearby returned home distorted. Three-faced, seven-eyed, with sprouted horns growing through the throat and nostrils, that appeared on the hoofs. They became so ugly that even Death refused to come for them.

She couldn't use half-rotten bodies of the drowned as well: the eternal burden spirit of the lake had woven too deeply into their guts, so it would have stayed inside the body even after the resurrection: curled up in rotten hearts like hagfish and howling songs of depth, until they brought the body back to the bottom .. Moreover, such a ritual might offend the dead flesh, and it does not tolerate integrity.

Still, there was a solution.

The doe gathered ravens and bats and asked if there are volunteers who would want to share their bodies and souls with these unfortunate children. Birds and bats held a council for some time and then a black shadow flew from each of the groups.

One of them belonged to a svelte, daring and curious bat lady. She drained many human babies, and knew their souls and learned to feel compassion to them. Another - a bold raven-alchemist, persecuted even by his fellow ravens for too headstrong and unconventional approach to science, a tireless half-mad researcher fond of strange experiments, on himself in particular.

The sorceress looked at them with mind's eye, and then half closed her black eye sockets in agreement and united the soul of the girl with body and soul of the bat, and the same with the boy and the raven. Then she sang a long, drawling song, calling to the memory of her native land, and the whirl of the ancient magic covered them - and when it was gone, she saw them turned into spotty fawns with human faces.

Then she told birds and bats to take them immediately to distant lands and leave her alone.

She was in haste because she did not want anyone to see her dying convulsions. But the bats, sensitive by nature, refused to carry out her request. They clung to her huge body mutilated by strength of her despair and began to shed bloody tears.

Girl-fawn slipped into the hole in a white belly and curled around a giant heart. She decided to stay with the sorceress to the end. Her brother shared her feelings, and didn't want really to fly without her but ravens left him no choice. Fulfilling the last wish of their wise mentor, they picked him up, bills in the ribs, and despite his resistance, taken him to the distant forest.

When the heart is a white giant contracted for one last time, her lifeless body dissolved, turned into a stream of milky fog, and girl-fawn found herself lying on the bare ground, covered, like a blanket, with a layer of black bats. The bats drank the milky mist, showing their thin fangs and throwing back their heads, absorbing the dissolving magic of the sorceress, hoping that they would be able to save their home from wilting, but when the last leaf has fallen from the last tree of the forest and their hopes melted away, like the darkest shadow lurking after dawn, they took the little fawn and began their journey to the distant forest.

Bats aren't as strong as birds, and they could not lower the fawn gently to the ground. Exhausted, they dropped their live burden out of their claws right on the rocks. Fawn fell her head down and broke her neck. But the kind magic of the endless forest did not allow her to die. The fawn stood up and thanked tired bats with her delicate blood, and as if nothing had happened went to inspect the neighborhood. But, unfortunately, she did not leave completely unharmed. Her mind, damaged by cerebral injury, became clouded; memory partially lost, partially blended with fantasies and dreams and was no more of interest to it.

Her senses, already very sharp, bat like, sharpened so much that they became supernatural (and provided a breeding ground for many, many mental disorders). From that moment mysterious music and voices from the other world would never stop to haunt her.

Soon the little fawn felt with the scruff of her neck that a strange symbol appeared above her head, resembling a moon crescent, rising above the sea waves littering with reef-broken ship debris. Probably, the magic of the forest used this way to show the innermost formula of its soul, so that other deer and creatures would understand easier who they are dealing with. But every coin has another side.

By accident, this symbol attracted a demon that was quietly observing the forest world from a strange corner beyond time and space, dark, and always smelling with blood. The demon read the true name of the fawn from the sign and from now on was able to get into her body and enjoy a quite life of a deer in a magical forest. Usually the demon is satisfied with the role of an observer, but sometimes their consciousnesses for unknown reason merge, then Liliac receives a part of his evil qualities, she becomes more cynical and paranoid, and the demon is suffering from her psychosis and partially or completely loses the ability of comprehensible presentation of his thoughts in English.

After fall into an endless forest, Liliac was found by her already matured brother. Kost had taught and shown her a lot and spoiled with much care and attention, as well as bats, who preferred not to return to their fading native forest and stay with their kindred friend, no matter what body she had.

They explained Liliac, how to satisfy her hunger with deer blood. This feeding method had strange effect on her body - she couldn't grow, but with time she developed a way to create an illusion of maturity. She is unlikely to deceive anyone (silly playful behavior betrays her) but allows her to do what would be impossible as a fawn.

Despite her nature Liliac is totally harmless and all she needs besides blood is joy, tenderness and a bit of warmth.

Butterbrot's picture

~track, and now excuse me, i

~track, and now excuse me, i ve got sth to read !D

Flyleaf's picture

Hello there . These

Hello there Smiling . These drawings are so lovely .
Avatar @ Sluggs Siggy @ Amazegenalo
Bouncing Fly by Mary13
Ourania's picture

track ♥ ♥

track ♥ ♥
Liliac's picture

Thank you. while I was away

Thank you.
while I was away from the forest, I missed all of you..
Pegasicorn's picture

Oh hi. =]

Oh hi. =]
gglidden's picture

Hello. c: I must say, what a

Hello. c: I must say, what a beeaauttifuulll and enchanting backstory to this deer. <3
Ring The Bells That Still Can Ring.
Forget Your Perfect Offering.
There Is A Crack In Everything.
That's How The Light Gets In.

(A part of the lyrics of Leonard Cohen's Song "Anthem")
Liliac's picture

Oh.. Glad to see. ^@^ it

Oh.. Glad to see. ^@^

it may be false memory, but ... I've play with CrossBones a while ago?
Amazegenalo's picture

Track! Liliac is so much fun

Track! Liliac is so much fun to be around with. <3 Rumen's really happy to meet her again.

edit: Sopor Arternus? Beautiful choice of music. <3

Found you~ i shall track.

Found you~
i shall track.
Liliac's picture

Rumen, I was terribly afraid

Rumen, I was terribly afraid that Liliac is just geting underfoot ..
I'm so glad she wasn't!
Yes, it Sopor (oh, my favorite..) and the second track is Nox Arcana.
You with other deer yesterday were dancing so beautifully: moaning
synchronously and rearing! I tried to adjust, but without success.. A
shame. Please tell us the secret of this dance, so next time we with
Liliac would not fall out, may be..

gglidden's picture

Yes, they have played

Yes, they have played together. A few times before in fact. CrossBones enjoys her company. ^^
Ring The Bells That Still Can Ring.
Forget Your Perfect Offering.
There Is A Crack In Everything.
That's How The Light Gets In.

(A part of the lyrics of Leonard Cohen's Song "Anthem")
OkamiLugia's picture

Tracking! Such a fun doe.

Tracking! Such a fun doe. I'll have to read this when I don't have physics homework to do D|

I'm that deer with the peacock pelt, candles, and luchador mask. He normally doesn't wear that pelt but I thought it looked too good with the mask to sneeze off xD;
Liliac's picture

I'm looking for you, and you

I'm looking for you, and you are here. *)

Exactly! This awesome mask is very suitable to Ryuu's picto.

Tracking Liliac is so fun

Tracking Laughing out loud
Liliac is so fun to have around, She really livened Kayla up a bit ^=^
Kayla was the one with the long/grey pelt, Skull mask and peacock antlers Smiling
sorry I had to leave though :c
Hope I get to see Liliac later on Smiling
Liliac's picture

Liliac told me she would be

Liliac told me she would be happy to warm Kayla with her
sides if she feels lonely.
And will be jumping silly around her without any sense, just like
that. Looks like she liked Kayla very much. ^@^
natille.koks's picture

Hello!)) My fawn Drop played

My fawn Drop played with your doe today! ^)
She i so pretty! ^_^
Liliac's picture

Oh, devil, the man whose

Oh, devil, the man whose charming drawings grind on my internal organs
is trying to transform my body into a strange kind of polygon.

Your fawn is wonderfull.
Liliac will miss him. )
Aivilo's picture

Tracking this :3

Tracking this :3
Liliac's picture

Ouh. you...

Ouh. you... <3

Hello) Gina it is pleasant to

Gina it is pleasant to spend time with Liliac Smiling
Liliac's picture

Hello. (: I remember your

Hello. (: I remember your doe, it was fun.
Hope, it wasn't the last time. Smiling
pumpkinseed's picture

I'm sorry my girl can never

I'm sorry my girl can never give your girl enough attention when she's around. Lilac always seems to find Eraline when there's drama going on. She's injured right now and thus can't do much. <3 Love this deer though.
Liliac's picture

*_* Sorry for liliac

*_* Sorry for liliac indelicacy... She won't bother your doe so much anymore. She is just an animal after all, but sometimes a warm and healing animal.
If Eraline would sleep by the pond, Liliac can drink some of her blood and draw the desease and the pain with it, bringing it on herself to suffer.


Liliac's picture

-@- luu St. aoiveae.. Ohe

-@- luu St.
aoiveae.. Ohe

I feel a little ashamed of

I feel a little ashamed of myself for not reading this sooner..!
She's great character! What inspired you to make her?
Liliac's picture

o__o I'm very glad you liked

o__o I'm very glad you liked my creature.

I almost didn't foster her, she grew like she grew.
Then I just wrote down everything that I could find out about her. I
think her personality is strongly influenced by Sopor Aeternus, which
she was listening along with me, and maybe this.

Ah! I've never heard of Sopor

Ah! I've never heard of Sopor Aeternus.. I'm checking out a few of their songs right now. They're quite nice =o

Lilac's story is beautiful. I love the timeless, fairytale quality of it.

Why the wide interval of time

Why the wide interval of time Liliac isn't present? Sad
Liliac's picture

Sorry, I was playing with

Sorry, I was playing with another doll..)

Mm.. Clearly..

Mm.. Clearly..

.T...kcab era uoy...T.

.T...kcab era uoy...T.
Vibek's picture


Flyleaf's picture

Hmmmmm...Are you back ...i

Hmmmmm...Are you back ...i think i saw your picto on the map yesterday Smiling
Avatar @ Sluggs Siggy @ Amazegenalo
Bouncing Fly by Mary13
Nolfavrel's picture

Hello! I'm a new fawn in TEF,

Hello! I'm a new fawn in TEF, and I'd just like to say that I love your writing style! Haunting yet beautiful. I hope to see you in-game one day. Smiling Maybe I could let your Liliac take some of my fawns (Nolfavrel) blood and we could play and jump around the pond (My favorite spot). Personally, when I can keep the magic cased on me, I'll prefer to be a raven. Especially one of those giant ones! (I have no idea how they do it.) ^u^
"How long does it take to make the forest?
As long as it takes to make the world. Seek wisdom in the depths."

I miss your crazy deer and

I miss your crazy deer and art.