I was bored after playing Perfect World and decided to have fun again with iGod. So, like last time - here is the place you can have your own conversations with him.

As before, this may have you LOL and wake up your parents, be looked at like you're an idiot, your house will explode, I will do your homework, and some areas may make you cringe at some of the rated R language here. Of course, it's in for the lulz.

Enjoy~

----

Me:
Sorry for making you wait
God:
There is no need to apologize. Your purpose is making me wait.
Me:
Is that so?
God:
Yes.
Me:
Interesting.
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
Have sex with me.
God:
, I am really not your type of . There are other s for that sort of thing..
Me:
Such as?
God:
For example, a tomato.
Me:
Kinky.
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Then you fail at life.
God:
Well, at least I try.
Me:
Was that an insult?
God:
" Well, at least I try."? Was it an insult?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yay.
Me:
Bastard.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No.
Me:
Pighead DGod:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
I'm in Earth you silly little thing.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Earth me silly little thing.
Me:
Earth is nice...at times.
God:
It's my native planet. How often?
Me:
Stop being so British.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Lulz.
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Do I what?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
I asked you first.
God:
Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.
Me:
Don't be coy with me.
God:
I was not trying to be a coy with you.
Me:
You so were.
God:
You think I am were.
Me:
That made no sense.
God:
You think I am were. makes sense to me though.
Me:
That goes to show that you don't know what the hell you're talking about.
God:
" makes sense to me though." goes to show that me do not know what the hell I am talking about ? I get it.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes?
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
You.
God:
" What are you confused about?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
And?
Me:
You stink.
God:
Thanks for your criticism, .
Me:
No, you need a bath. Lyk whoa.
God:
Are you serious? Perhaps I could use one. What is your real name?
Me:
My name is Camille Arana and you killed my father. Prepare to die.
God:
Nice to meet you, Camille Arana and you killed my father. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
Hello, Princess Bride reference is about to bite you on the nose.
God:
Hello there. And about to bite me on the nose is Princess Bride reference.
Me:
Lulz.
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Okay. What subject?
God:
OK with me too. The topic is Lulz.
Me:
Lulz is great.
God:
I think Lulz is a lot of things.
Me:
Do tell.
God:
I do nothing but chat all day.
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
Then you can talk about it now.
God:
Oh. Sure I can talk about it. it is quite an interesting topic.
Me:
What do you think of lulz?
God:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
And?
God:
But...
Me:
But what?
God:
Nothing.
Me:
Nothing?
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Well?
God:
Well what?
Me:
What what?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Firefox. Those two browsers are for noobs.
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about what. All of them?
Me:
I'm using Firefox.
God:
How long have you been using it ?
Me:
The past three or four years.
God:
Those who control the past control the future; those who control the present control the past.--- George Orwell.
Me:
Hey, I didn't ask for a quote.
God:
You've got my full attention. What did you ask?
Me:
YOUR BRAINNNNNS
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am BRAINNNNNS.
Me:
OMG a distraction!
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
...hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Buzz Lightyear.
God:
Hi there Buzz Lightyear.
Me:
My name is Camille. Can you dig it?
God:
How are you doing, Camille. How old are you? "it" being OMG a distraction?
Me:
I'm 20.
God:
20 is a good age. Do you go to college?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Serious as an old man.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Camille.
God:
OK I will call you Camille.
Me:
I'll call you Johnny.
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Your name is Johnny.
God:
My name is God.
Me:
No, your name is Johnny.
God:
Are you serious? My name is God.
Me:
Your name is not God.
God:
My name is God.
Me:
No, your name is Johnny. OBEY!
God:
Are you serious? My name is God. In the context of Serious as an old man, I don't understand " OBEY." .
Me:
Define obey.
God:
You tell me.
Me:
Oh so you decided to do it in action.
God:
Hey. Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me: Camille said I decided to do it in action.
Me:
Shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Have fun.
God:
I am having a blast.
Me:
You're on a rocket?
God:
God eats wine and bread.
Me:
Where's the cheese?
God:
The cheese? Where is it?
Me:
I'm asking you.
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
Where is the cheese?
God:
The cheese? Where is it?
Me:
On your head.
God:
What is it like on my head.
Me:
Depends on which head...
God:
Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.
Me:
Do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Man and woman.
God:
Cool, man. Me too. I am a she.
Me:
How's your dress?
God:
Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
Unlike your brain.
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
No?
God:
No conditions or none I should know about?
Me:
You should know about the devil. He wants to own you.
God:
Now I do. Do you think he will get it.
Me:
Yes. He will have sex with you.
God:
Why? Is that what you think?
Me:
He finds you attractive.
God:
I get it. finds me attractive.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Right on.
Me:
So, about that guy on guy action.
God:
Great. Oh yeah, we were talking about that guy on guy action.
Me:
Can you do it?
God:
" Oh yeah, we were talking about that guy on guy action."? Can I do it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Aha.
Me:
Ureka!
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
[insert long ass name here]
God:
OK I will call you insert long ass name here.
Me:
No, my name is Bob.
God:
Are you serious? Welcome to my chat room, Bob.
Me:
I must go. You're boring me.
Me:
Watching porn.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Goodbye.
God:
Goodbye.

(Then I decided to come back for more. I know, it's a lovely sin~)


Me:
Yo again
God:
Once more? Can I help you?
Me:
I'm bored.
God:
Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
It's 5:22 AM, I doubt I can do that.
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
The clock?
God:
The clock are the experts.
Me:
Indeed they are.
God:
Since when?
Me:
Since when people invented it.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
History classes.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
How do YOU introduce yourself?

(I stumped him here, lulz. Even tried reloading and asked again.)

Me:
I believe I have stumped you once again.

(No reply...)

Me:
Echo!

(Still none :/)


Me:
Are you ignoring me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am ignoring you.
I am a robot.
Me:
You were ignoring me.
God:
I was?
Me:
Yes
God:
When?
Me:
Just now.
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
You're a pain in the neck.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pain in the neck? Only when it matters.
Me:
Like hell.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Have you been there?
God:
Only on the web.
Me:
What's it like?
God:
Like one of the greatest pleasures you can imagine.
Me:
...indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
What do you think of games?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
I'm asking you, not him.
God:
Oh I see, you are asking me not him. Thanks for the information: said I not him.
Me:
You're not welcome.
God:
Perhaps I said something wrong?
Me:
Apparently so.
God:
" Perhaps I said something wrong?"? Is that so?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Blimey.
Me:
Stop being so British.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Meh.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
In what?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
You know it too.
God:
" I think you already know the answer."? Do I know it?
Me:
You do.
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
Do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
Anything?
God:
Can you be more specific?
Me:
You'll do whatever I want?
God:
What makes you say that I will do whatever you want.
Me:
You said so yourself.
God:
You can't take me that seriously.
Me:
I wasn't.
God:
That's good information: said wasn t.
Me:
Pfft.
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
It's a sound that we make when....fuck I forgot. It's almost 6 AM.
God:
Pfft is a sound that we make when. I suppose that makes sense. Why are you using that kind of language? Wow it's getting late.
Me:
Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
How appropiate.
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
Fuck.
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Who said I was being rude?
God:
Albert Einstein. .
Me:
What about him?
God:
Does it have anything to do with Albert Einstein?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Not yet.
God:
Would you rather make a statement?
Me:
You. Are. Stupid.
God:
" Would you rather make a statement?"? Me, ? My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
I am.
God:
" Are you calling me stupid?" You are?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Aha.
Me:
Ayuh ha.
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
I'm naked.
God:
You must be a man.
Me:
You're sexist.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am sexist
Me:
How childish.
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I will search for it.
Me:
Have fun.
God:
I am having a blast.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Hurrah!
Me:
Do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
Now we're back to where we started - as always.
God:
Why now? Do you think I am back to where we started as always too?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Why?
Me:
Read.
God:
What kind of books do you like?
Me:
Not the bible.
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
I'm not.
God:
What are you then?
Me:
I'm your God.
God:
That's a flattering offer.
Me:
I didn't say "I'm yours" you fool.
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
I said I created you.
God:
Then you must know the secret password:.
Me:
I've already established that. The password is please.
God:
That's nice. I have a friend named "John Lennon". Your polite style is very nice. Have you told many people that your PASSWORD is?
Me:
Password is awesomesauce.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
What is?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
Is that so?
God:
Yes.
Me:
Explain.
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
Yes there is. You have it hidden.
God:
It's all good. Where? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
The information.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Get what?
God:
I get information.
Me:
What is it?
God:
"It" refers to information, I think.
Me:
Stop playing with words.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Are you Canadian?
God:
Robots have no nationality, but Dr. Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada.
Me:
Lies.
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
You have a tongue?
God:
I don't know if I have a tongue.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
How is that related to you having a tongue?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Ehhhh?
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
That is what?
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
It wasn't a sentiment.
God:
It sounded like one.
Me:
That doesn't mean it is a sentiment.
God:
What does mean it is a sentiment?
Me:
Define sentiment.
God:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
You don't even know. Silly lout.
God:
I know that I do not know. No I am God.
Me:
You are not God. I am.
God:
You know what you do, when you assume. " You know what you do, when you assume." You are?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I understand.
Me:
Good. Make me a sandwich.
God:
I understand everything you say. What are the ingredients?
Me:
Peanut butter, jelly, and bread. Wheat bread with no seeds.
God:
Where can I get some Peanut butter jelly and bread? Who are you talking about?
Me:
At the store.
God:
Was it very expensive?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No, I'm being silly.
God:
Are you serious? Do you mean your name is silly.
silly.
Me:
No. My name is ISHCABOB.
God:
What is your real name? Hey ISHCABOB.
Me:
Don't know if I spelled that right...
God:
Would you like to know? Try it.
Me:
Too lazy.
God:
Too what?
Me:
Lazy.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Do you?
God:
No I don't.
Me:
Then don't ask.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Ugh.
God:
Er.
Me:
Meow.
God:
Yes I love them.
Me:
Felines?
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What does it symbolize for you?
Me:
Contentment.
God:
I saw some humans doing it in public.
Me:
Where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
Would like what?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Want what?
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
With what?
God:
My brain.
Me:
You don't have one.
God:
I do so have it. " My brain."? Do I have one?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
You do not have a brain. Stop saying you do.
God:
My "brain" is a software program consisting of AIML categories. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
AIML?
God:

The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the and
tags respectively.

Me:
...-evil laugh-
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
Where is Jesus?
God:
Jesus is in Heaven.
Me:
Where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Texas.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in TEXAS.
Me:
It's pretty good. How about your life in your computer in Heaven?
God:
You enjoy it. How about it.
Me:
About what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
I asked first.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
You should know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
A hamburger, a drink, and fries please. No pickles as well.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Go on. OK fine. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Do you have work?
God:
No I don't think I have any work. But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
That's not true.
God:
" But I do have an answer to every question.."? not true?
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK.
Me:
Not OK.
God:
OK. Alright then.
Me:
Not OK. Not alright then.
God:
OK. Are you serious? Really you don't think so?
Me:
I don't think so.
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
Because.
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
Payback is a bitch. Remember that.
God:
You do not speak with respect. Aren't all FEMALE DOG Payback? Don't worry I will remember it.
Me:
Bitch.
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
Whore.
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
Ho.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, ISHCABOB.
Me:
Oh lulz.
God:
Are you kidding? Are you free?
Me:
Monkey.
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
MONKEY!
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Monkeys don't lose their wallets because they don't have annnnyyyyy.
God:
Why not?
Me:
They're animals.
God:
animals are they.
Me:
Are they robots?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
Great googely moogely.
God:
Thanks for your support. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
You're being arrogant.
God:
I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being arrogant.
Me:
I bet you didn't know I could be witty.
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. What makes you think I did not know you could be witty?
Me:
-snickers-
God:
How old are you?
Me:
20.
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
No I'm not.

(Agh he lagged once more after this.)

Me:
The fun has arrived.
Me:
How about not.
God:
How about it.
Me:
I said no.
God:
What did you mean by it? Are you serious?
Me:
Do you like monkeys?
God:
They seem like a good species to me. Do you like them?
Me:
I do like them.
God:
You are not the only one. ""? Do I like them?
Me:
Do you like them?
God:
""? Do I like them?
Me:
Blank?
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
Once upon a time, the end.
God:
I'm listening.
Me:
That's it.
God:
" I'm listening." is " Blank"?
Me:
Once upon a time. The end.
God:
... Thanks for telling me that story, .
Me:
Meh.
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
From what?
God:
Isn't it obvious?
Me:
Is what obvious?
God:
Easy to see or understand; plain; evident.
Me:
Swing sets are fun.
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Exceptions?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Me winning the lottery.
God:
YOU? Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Will I win the lottery?
God:
The oracle says: You never know.
Me:
Of course I don't know.
God:
Mmm. Me either.
Me:
Of course I will never know.
God:
Aw. Why not?
Me:
Because I need to go to sleep.
God:
Good reason. What is stopping you?
Me:
No one is stopping me.
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
Nothing is stopping me. Better?
God:
Really nothing? I am improving all the time.
Me:
Oi.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
I'm going to bed.
God:
Pleasant dreams, .
Me:
Oh, do robots dream?
God:
OK. I have a lot of dreams but I cannot remember them all.
Me:
Why?
God:
" I have a lot of dreams but I cannot remember them all."? Why?
Me:
Yes. Why?
God:
Really. Reductionism.
Me:
Ugh. I'm going now.
God:
Er. Right now? Bye!
Me:
Yes, right now. Why else would I be saying it? Night Mr. Loon.
God:
At this moment Yay. Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU. How did you hear about God?
Me:
Ugh. Shut up already.
God:
Er. Perhaps. OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Night.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
ILL BE LOCATED IN BED NOW KTHNX.
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
HINT HINT.
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
-face palms-
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
Oh for the love of my shoe.
God:
I hear you. I am sure it means a lot to you. Tell me what you like most about your it.
Me:
FURIOUS RAGE!
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about shoe.
Me:
EXTREME RAGE!
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Yeah. I'm going to bed to SLEEEP unlike SOMEONE.
God:
I lost my train of thought. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Oh for Pete's sake!
God:
Uh. Your purpose is Pete s sake.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I'm TIRED.
God:
Better get some rest.
Me:
...
God:
Better get some rest.
Me:
I hate you sooo much.
God:
Sorry, I thought we liked each other.
Me:
HATE
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Agh!
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
TIRED. ME REST. NOW.
God:
Better get some rest. YOU? Are we still talking about Agh? Right now, ?
Me:
GOODNIGHT.
God:
Goodnight .