August.21.2010
Something bad is going to happen and I can't stop the feeling I wish it'd just go away but it won't no matter what I do and I feel so hopeless and scared and and and adn nad danaksjdfnandndanandnd
I feel like I'm being timed.
I don't know what I have to do, I don't know what they want me to do and it's driving me insane.
I'm afraid. What if I run out of time? What if I fail? I don't know what they want me to do what if they want me to do something bad and I don't want to? What if the clock strikes the hour, I can hear it ticking right now and it seems like it's going faster... what if the timer stops and never stops r i n g i n g in my ears?
I'm really scared.
My heart is racing right now.
I can't stop shaking.
There's someone watching me.
I can't tell if dreams are real or if real is a dream. Am I dreaming right now? If I died, will I wake up?
I don't want to die.
They're going to kill me if I run out of time, won't they?
Please don't please no no no I don't want to go I can't leave this place I could leave the other one and I'm glad I chose this circle light but please don't make me go back there, please don't make me go back to that n o t h i n g n e s s and make me lost again, I don't want to choose another circle light I can't I CAN'T I CAN'T DO IT A G A I N--
...Did I mention that I can go through trees?
It's like the insanity of a
It's also very interesting...
I agree &hearts There's a
There's a blog I'm going to begin soon... that is something I know you'll consider morbid, disturbing, and interesting :}
By Leuvr ♥
This is just plain awesome.
I MISS FRIIHA. /sob. This is
This is beautiful, and the art too. <3
Wow, this is really
Ngh I love that drawing so much too, her eyes feel so empty and I love her fur. I always love how you do her fur. <3 Hnnn and the creatures in the back, I love them..<3
You need to write these more often, I love reading them so much, and I miss Friiha. ;; <3
@Ocean: Thank you so much for
@Tally: I missed Friiha too C:
There's actually a reason she was unactive... I'll tell you on MSN if you're curious.
Thanks so much <333
@Saffie: Your comments always make me really happy~!! 8D
This one is really special to me because it also reflects some of the feelings I'm feeling. It felt really nice to be able to get it out of me like this... I hate bottling up but sometimes it's just... I don't know, necessary..?
You made perfect sense &hearts She has a thought disorder that I share, and things like that often happen to us; when we're thinking/saying something and abruptly realize we don't know what's going on because we had gone off into something else without noticing, with little or no recollection of what we'd been trying to focus on before.
That drawing was actually really rushed because I had about ten minutes to finish it AND upload it AND post the blog/link it. I do like her fur a lot though, and the hallucinations &hearts I wish I could put more detail but I lost the muse to fix anything and then re-upload. But I'm glad it turned out at least half-okay.
I should write these more often. It's stress-relieving for me, a way to get out the things I keep inside.
I miss Friiha too.
&hearts
By Leuvr ♥
I'm glad. c: Yeah, I
Yeah, I completely understand what you mean. I wish I had enough muse/inserpation/a brainLOL to be able to write things to vent stuff out. Though I'm buying a journal/diary thing to vent my emotions out or just to write random things. It helps. C| /totally a person who's obsessed with memories anyways LOL/ No srsly. My whole room is practically a memory.. thing.
LOL ANYWAYS.
Jesus, for something that didn't take you long, you did an outstanding job. ó_ó And definately, you need to write moar. >8U <33
Nghhh come on MSNNNN ;; <333
Poor Friiha D=. But this
Of course I would love to
You can msg me and I'll read it when I get home from school or try and catch me but it's a little hard.
Oh, poor child... But lovely
But lovely writing.
And I do love the ending. For some reason. unless I'm mistaken, it sounds like it has an up ending. I hope.
FFF... I've missed her so
Mhh&hearts
/latefail @Saffie:
@Saffie: &hearts
Oh that's very good! Diaries for venting definitely help a lot. And haha I adore memories too, I'm just bad at recording them :c /needs to bring her camera around more often
My room is... well, I have a LOT of memories under my bed 8D /fail
Aww thanks, I guess I do well under the pressure to go to bed. LOL. And fff there's never anything to write about... well that's a lie but ldglgf.
I WILL. Once I'm done with HW. /failx2
@Zardakitty: Yeah, hallucinating isn't fun :c
Ah, that's great to hear! LOL! I want my writings to be intense and really get the reader into her mind or whatever is happening. I'm glad to know it worked with you xD
@Tally: &hearts
I'll go do that~
@Serenai: Mm :c
Thank you so much (:
Technically, this does have an up ending. Friiha and I both felt something horrible was going to happen and that's the reason I wrote this, and exactly a week after this was posted, the whole heart situation with Bunny happened. I wrote another diary entry for that here. And as we all know now, the ending is happy because Bunny lived &hearts
@Custard: We've missed you so much, and dear Yori &hearts
By Leuvr ♥
(No subject)
...&hearts
By Leuvr ♥