:.{'can't take it anymore' never works - Rutilus - contains some language}.:

Y'know, no matter how many times I tell the Gods that I can't deal with it anymore, they keep throwing life's biggest piles of crap at me. And it just won't stop. Everything, just, everything, I've had to bloody deal with it and sure it's toughened me up. Sure, Polt's death isn't killing me the way it would have had I not dealt with the loss of friends before. Fenqua died. Rowan...I don't know. I assumed her dead when she disappeared. Her faked her own death. Emiva's gone. Tabi's gone. Isis is gone.

The only people I have left are Taliene, Jared, Draak, Tuna and Martisol. Auge too I guess, but when the hell did I last speak to her? Is she copin' allright? I don't know.

Poltergeist, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you as much as I could have been. I'm sorry you're not here to see this. I'm sorry I didn't speak to Auge and try to make her a better mother, and I'm sorry that I wasn't the best uncle I could have been. But I cared, love, I really did. I love you to pieces. And I'm gonna miss you. But you wouldn't want me to cry, right? Right?
Because I can't. I'm done with crying. I'm so bloody done with crying. I'll try and help take care of Otis and Sterre, Polt, I really will. I'll try. I will.

Haha, Tuna. D'you have any idea of what you've done for me? Noone else was there to punch my face in when I landed myself in hospital. Wouldn't have been as bad if I'd been in the Forest, but I wasn't. You've been the best friend I could've asked for for such a long time, when everyone else disappeared and I couldn't fucking find them.

I'm not going into Tali and Jared. Christ, I wish I could. But I can't, y'know? I've done it enough. Taliene's getting better and Jared's...Jared, so it's fine. We're fine. We'll live.

Marti. God dammit, Marti, don't disappear on me again. You're all I've got left of the past...

...
...
I've...
Sitting on this bridge makes me...think.
About things.
Things I really shouldn't think about.

No, Tuna, it's not what you're thinking.

It's Sulwyn.
I wish she was here.

'I wish' has never gotten me anything. Never.

But I do, I really do. I wish we could talk it out, have closure. I miss her. Just when I think I'm really, truly over it, someone pops up looking like her and hell it kills me all over again.

God dammit.

Speaking of god.

Twin Gods. I'm kneeling. I'm fucking kneeling for you. What part of 'I can't take it anymore' don't you get?