Heya again, guys. I wanted to ask about this for a while, just need some advice. I've probably covered this topic before but wanted to write it anyway.
As you probably know, I'm going through a process of recovery after Dad's passing. One of the issues I've been having lately is that I'm not proud of who I am and I just flat out think I'm worthless. I wanted to ask a few questions:
How do you see yourself positively? How can you be proud of yourself? What can you do to have pride without it being selfish or glorifying? What do you do to stay positive during the day?
Any tips or advice is greatly appreciated. And I'm sorry if I'm being annoying by bringing up non-TEF things like this, just wanted to see what you guys had in mind.
I've been told often that I need to take care of myself before I take care of others, but I'm having such a hard time accepting that. I see so many others in need and I neglect my own feelings to take care of them.
I really want to save the world, but I have to save myself first.
*long-distance nuzzles* Thank you again.
This song has made me happy every time I listen to it. I don't know what it is about it, but I wanted to share it if you're having a bad day or anything.
-------------------------------------------
Quad's Checklist - always having additions to it. When I'm satisfied with it, I will print this out and keep it with me at all times.
What I see positively in myself
- I'm open-minded and enjoy learning from others
- Writing comes naturally for me
- I have broad tastes for music, and always like finding new bands to listen to
- I have a good sense of fashion
- I try to help others when I can
- I am enthusiastic for geology and environmentalism
- I am a genuine guy who sees people for their personality and doesn't judge them on appearances
What I am proud of myself for
- I am willing to try new things, and often discover I really like something that at first I was repulsed by
- I enjoy making people laugh or smile
- Giving Buddhism a try, even when I feel like people are critical about it
- I successfully passed Field Camp at my college
- I actually climbed halfway down into the Grand Canyon
- I adopted a puppy that would have been killed, and now have a brat of a baby girl who I love deeply
- Being a giver
- Supporting small companies, artists, musicians, and such
- Having big dreams and goals that are achievable
Little things that make me happy
- Brandy's spazzy embrace every time I come home
- Being able to listen to awesome and beautiful music
- Pictures of deer, goats, and antelope always make me smile
- Flavors in food
- My favorite TV shows (Maury, Steve Wilkos, Ghost Adventures, and so on)
- The feeling I get from doing something good, like donating blood or giving money to a charity
- Singing in the car
What I'm thankful for
- Having a life to begin with. I came very close to dying before I was born, so I was put in this world for a reason
- Having a comfortable planet to live on, with air to breathe, water to drink, a sun to keep us warm, and nature to revere
- I have a genuine opportunity to live my dreams as an earth scientist, and also to do some real good for the world. Not everyone gets that opportunity
- I have a loving and supportive family. We may have our tough times, but we always can depend on each other
- I live in a country where I was able to choose what I wanted to do with my life
- I have a working car that I love driving around in
- Having luxuries such as a home, a bed, electricity, air conditioning, a laptop, a TV, a PS2, an Xbox 360, an Ipod, and so on. I often take these for granted
- The Endless Forest, Michael and Auriea, the community, all my friends here. Where would I be without you?
What I need to remember
"Look upon everything as a victory." - Mick
"Love, and be loved in return." - Serenai
"Just keep swimming." - Dory
"Sing once every day." - Dinotopian law
"You are perfect the way you are, with all your flaws and defects." - Zen Teaching
"Learn something new about yourself every day." - me
I think you just have to realise that if you don't let yourself be human, and have pride and such likes then you aren't going to be as happy as you can. Look upon everything as a victory...
Here's the reason why I decided to post this topic today.
I got sick over the weekend. Luckily it is not anything serious (a minor version of the flu, 'the common cold' as the doctor said). I stayed home today because I felt terrible this morning.
I am ashamed of myself for getting sick. I feel like I'm letting everyone down for having to take a day off. I feel so inadequate because of it.
Sorry, not trying to start up again with this. Maybe I gotta learn that I'm only human.
I find one of the things that helps me is learning to accept when something is beyond your power. Being sick, for instance, isn't something you can control. You can't just make yourself better but there are things you can do to get healthy sooner, like eating and sleeping well. By accepting that the big picture is beyond your power, you can focus on the little things you can influence. These many small accomplishments will add up to a big change.
I hope you start feeling better soon Quad, in body and mind.
I was born into a small very very poor family, there was always work to do and not enough time to do it, I was forced into the position of an extra adult as soon as I could walk in a stable way and understand words.
When my family's bad genetics caught up for the first time and I began showing signs of bad asthma we moved to a warmer country to be with family we barely knew.
Eventually my mother met a man who seemed friendly enough at the time, but turned out to be an abusive pig, maybe that was what turned me into such a damned cold person, when you have to threaten four hundred pounds of man every other day with a knife and you barely weigh more than one hundred, you learn not to be scared, and you learn not to feel bad for yourself too often, my mom finally broke free, sort of, eventually, he became an insane stalker, and even now we are planning on moving to a new country for the third time to try and get away from him.
I have been at risk for cancer my entire life and have come to find I finally had it recently, as well as being tested for addison's after losing my uncle only to find out I had that as well. Along with asthma, depression, and anxiety disorder.
there's little left that can happen to me, I've had cars crash through my walls, been beaten, threatened others, had surgeries worked in the cold until I thought my lungs would break, been molested, lost the people closest to me.
It is hard to smile, and even harder to be happy, but sometimes, sometimes I am.
When I am here and I see something nice, it brings a smile to my face, when someone talks to me, it brings a smile to my face, when I find that someone looks up to me it makes me want to hug them and cry. I still laugh at funny things, I still love, I still learn, life goes on.
Even when the people in it do not, life always goes on.
Whether you choose to continue with it is entirely up to you.
Knowing that people in my life, my mother, and my sister, need me, gives me the strength to continue to push myself to continue.
I need to live, just until I know they are safe. My mom is healthy, but she is so much more delicate than I. and my sister is still young. I want to make sure the both of them are happy.
Sometimes it isn't enough to live for yourself. Sometimes you need to know that others need you too.
I think I'll track this, for the only reason I feel the way Quad does too.
I was constantly bullied for a long time about my appearance and where I used to live that eventually I let it eat at me, and it still stick with me. I have no self-esteem, or self-worth.
It's not an easy cycle to break. I find it very hard to see myself in a positive light, and a lot of times it shines out when I don't want it to.
I'm thankful I have a kind, patient best friend and awesome parents and many family and friends who help me along the way. Sometimes I do fall back, but it's them who help me through. I know for a fact I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for all of them.
I'm opening up a lot here.. not sure how i feel about that.
Well I am guilty iof feeling worthless sometimes. But If I start feeling that way, I mentally slap myself and tell myself that I have to stop being such a weakling, get a grip and stop being self-indulgent because the world does not revolve around me. My family supports me, I cannot fail them most of all. I have to be there for them. As for the rest of the world..I tred tio be there for them but was only used. Also I often found myself guilty of taing a break from doing things I'm supposed to do- but at the same time this is also needed to gain some distance. Sometimes when doings things for people outside family, good friends, even work, I get so emotionally caught up in it that I lose a sense of self and do not assert myself. And that is destructive. Big time. Because eventually you will get caught in a spiral- you will teach people to expect to always be there for them. if you're not, and let it get to you as a sense of guilt, it will enhance your sense of guilt and only hurt you more. It doesn't mean you have to stop helping other but learn to assert yourself more and let other see your needs to, foster your needs too so there is exchange. Helping one another in equal measure (my friend and I do that) has a healing effect and helps me gain distance, perspective and more confidence in the fact that I am in fact worth something that my opinions are worth something that what I do counts, that my smile counts- and a smile doesn't cost after all and I don't have to over exert myself and spread myself too thinly just to help...poarticularly if that wes me out emotionally. Letting others do something for me helps a lot. Even if it's just a short conversation a reassurance, anything. And family is the best at that. That is probably also why I keep a very narrow circle of friends. As I gain more experience I feel I make more sense of life, gain more distance to it and slowly realise that feelings of worthlessness are ridiculous and unfounded. And then I feel like I'm able to start living more fully and more happily and with more distance to things.
I do not fully understand your situation and I am sorry for your loss. However, I hope my perspective will be of some hmm interest perhasps, though I really do not know how to word for it not too sound offensive or rude. I'm sorry.
Take care and be well.
- A stranger perusing these posts
Hm, I think in order to keep myself structured, I'm going to answer your questions as you've posed them.
How do I see myself positively? I think that over the years, I've come to the personal knowledge that, while I do have many weaknesses, I have some pretty amazing strengths that sometimes even surprise me. I think the key to this is that I've found things that I consider myself good at, and I try to focus on those things when life decides to throw crap at me. Instead of looking at my weaknesses and seeing them as negative things, I see them as places that I can always improve on and continue to learn. It may seem cliche, but I try to adopt a 'never give up' attitude whenever I can, even if I really want to. I think a lot of my positivity stems from feeling satisfied about the little things. If I manage to make one person smile in a day, that day hasn't been a waste, and I know that maybe that one smile made the person's day a whole lot brighter.
How can I be proud of myself? While I am always pleased at myself for the large successes (good grades, achieving a goal, etc), I also try to be proud of myself for little things, like simply being polite or being there to listen to a friend in need. There is a fine line between being proud and being egotistical, and it's a line that you have to watch, but I think that most people can find many things to be proud of themselves for, even if it is simply for getting up in the morning and doing what you have to do. A tip for this is to think of what other people would be proud of you for, and trying to adopt that into your own mind. If you're really feeling down, take some time with a friend and be boastful for a bit. As long as you don't let it take over your entire attitude, it really is healthy and feels good to have an ego once in awhile!
What can you do to have pride and not be selfish or glorifying? As I said above, not all pride is bad. You can be proud of yourself and make that known without developing a narcissistic complex. I think what helps in this sort of situation is to do some exercises where you complete the statement, 'Wow, I'm really lucky because I'm and not !' These kind of statements help you feel good about yourself while keeping in mind that there are things out there that are worse. I find the statements both feel-good and humbling, as it reminds you that yes you are special, but keep in mind those that aren't as fortunate. Another really good exercise is to make a list of things that make you happy with yourself, and then see how you can use those things to help others. You seem like the kind of person that lives to take care of other people, so this might be a good way to realize that you can be proud of those qualities that let you help them.
What do I do to stay positive during the day? Little things Quad, these are what make the world go round. Whether its simply an upbeat song that makes me smile, or a good conversation with a friend, a simple look at the sky to see the sun is shining, or a bad joke that makes you groan. Little things like that remind me that the world is a good place with a lot of wonderful things and people in it. I used to hate watching the news because of how negative it always seems, but recently I've started thinking about how, for every negative story they may show you, there are plenty of positive stories out there that are simply not spoken of because they are just every-day events. The fact is, the news networks tell us negative stories because they are the most unusual--for the most part, the world is a positive and good place, and we have to remember that.
I've taken some hits recently, and really questioned my own self-worth. I felt like I must be nothing if I couldn't even garner love from the man I'd spent so many years with. I've realized in the past few months though just how much I had been suppressed during those years, and I had forgotten how to be proud of myself simply for being myself. Recently I've been appreciating the little things so much more, and I've felt like a completely new person. I'm lucky in that I've got some wonderful friends that make me smile and laugh, but I think the most important thing is that they've helped me realize and accept that I am a happy person, and I am capable of bouncing back after hardships.
I wish I could say that it's a simple process and you just have to believe in yourself to be positive and you will be, but unfortunately it isn't. The world likes to throw curveballs now and then, and sometimes they catch you off guard. The key is not letting these shots keep you down. I offer my support whenever you may need it. I'm always willing to listen to woes and to try and give some positive advice.
I also give you this advice from a fish, it always makes me smile:
I was born and raised until 7 in a very abusive household. I was never abused physically, but certainly mentally. My father beat my mother for 11 years, and I have memories on that that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I often look at my life and wonder what I'm doing - I'm 28, and I feel as if I've wasted a lot of time, but...
I know the one thing that keeps me going is very simple.
I have tomorrow.
We are so very fortunate in that tomorrow...we can do whatever we want to do. No matter how many mistakes you've made, no matter what you've done, tomorrow, you can decide to start all over again. Tomorrow doesn't care about yesterday. Tomorrow doesn't care about your mistakes and your shortcomings. It's not going to judge you on what you have or haven't done.
Tomorrow, you can go out and try to be a different person. Every tomorrow is at your disposal, to become who you want to be. It's like this train ticket that can pretty much take you anywhere. For all of your mistakes, all of your failures, you can always apologize and go forward. Failure is nothing more than a learning experience. And it's available to you. Yes, you have to work for it, but...
...if it's not hard? It's not worth a fuck, it's really not. But if you want it bad enough? You can do it.
I remember that, every day. I remember not only that, but I remember that for as bad as my life seems to be, there is always someone out there who's got it worst than me, who would do anything to have the luxuries I do. I am so remarkably thankful of my family, and the friends I've made, not only in the real world, but also here, and elsewhere on the internet. There are always people out there who will offer you support. Don't ever forget that.
I've always had trouble with self-worth. I've had major self-loathing issues, for years. I've started finding joy in small things though... realizing how you affect people positively, even in the littlest of ways, every day, can really help improve your happiness and sense of self-worth. Running an errand for family/friends, letting someone use your phone, making someone smile/laugh... little things we all do for others every day. We improve their lives, however slightly, and its not glorifying oneself, its simply doing nice things and feeling good about it. It can be a big help ^__^
I hate being sick and being laid up for any reason too, for similar reasons. I knocked that off as of last October/November xD I work in a restaurant, where sick/vacation days don't exist. I was also the only waitress there, so the owner was highly dependant on me, though there were other people she could call in. I got sick and ignored it... it got worse and worse til finally I had a sore throat so bad I couldn't talk and a cough that never let me sleep and set my chest on fire. I finally went to the doctor and I ended up having bronchitis. That can kill you. I ended up missing 2 weeks of work anyway because I screwed myself up so bad xD Now I take days off, hehehe. It was a good lesson.
I think these things have all been said. But I wanted to try putting them in my own words.
There have been times in my life I've hated myself so much that I wanted to disappear.
Things I've realized that have made it impossible for me to hate myself (once I catch myself doing it):
- hating yourself is a form of vanity, too. To imagine yourself 'the worst' is a grandiose inversion of imagining yourself 'the best'. Humility is knowing not that you are perfect, or evil, but that you are.
- hating yourself is a way of ignoring the gift of faith and love those who offer kindness give. Being too critical of yourself is like erasing the nice things told to you because "You know best". Not only is this vain, it is wasteful and a poor show of gratitude for the pleasure and fortune of others' attention and support.
Things I've learned about loving myself:
- When something is wrong, I can discover whether it is imbalance in body, mind, or environment, and I can make changes.
- If I cannot make changes, I can accept peacefully my circumstances.
- If someone tells me something about me is wrong, their point of view built from their life experiences may deny them the vision I have from mine.
Lastly. Maybe most importantly.
Love of self and love of brother are connected. Forgiving the shortcomings and mistakes of others is a step forward in forgiving oneself. Loving others is a way of loving oneself. Love is an expanding fractal, repeated as often as it emerges.
—
I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet
Added the checklist portion to this, only so I didn't make another topic about it. Anyway, it's far from being finished, but I started it up anyway. It will feature quotes from things you guys have told me, as well as my own things I need to remind myself of.
Thanks for this blog Quad. I read your post and the comments by everyone here. You all are very right.
I must be grateful for having such an easy uncomplicated life. I think lately I've been blocking a lot of those things that have been said here even though I know them.
I have struggled with an anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember and, though not until very recently, depression. I am learning to be happy with myself and to accept myself as human.
I have found that looking at the world through Amazon's eyes absolutely helps me to stay positive. There is just no way to play a character with such a purpose as hers and not smile, hahaha. <3
I will definitely track this entry too: it is such a wonderful idea, Quad. I hope that you—and everyone—will find whatever it may be that you are searching for. Have some hearts, hugs, and cookies. ♥
I think you just have to
Here's a video for you Quad~
And for everyone else feeling down.
Here's the reason why I
I got sick over the weekend. Luckily it is not anything serious (a minor version of the flu, 'the common cold' as the doctor said). I stayed home today because I felt terrible this morning.
I am ashamed of myself for getting sick. I feel like I'm letting everyone down for having to take a day off. I feel so inadequate because of it.
Sorry, not trying to start up again with this. Maybe I gotta learn that I'm only human.
I find one of the things that
I hope you start feeling better soon Quad, in body and mind.
Hm. I was born into a small
Hm.
I was born into a small very very poor family, there was always work to do and not enough time to do it, I was forced into the position of an extra adult as soon as I could walk in a stable way and understand words.
When my family's bad genetics caught up for the first time and I began showing signs of bad asthma we moved to a warmer country to be with family we barely knew.
Eventually my mother met a man who seemed friendly enough at the time, but turned out to be an abusive pig, maybe that was what turned me into such a damned cold person, when you have to threaten four hundred pounds of man every other day with a knife and you barely weigh more than one hundred, you learn not to be scared, and you learn not to feel bad for yourself too often, my mom finally broke free, sort of, eventually, he became an insane stalker, and even now we are planning on moving to a new country for the third time to try and get away from him.
I have been at risk for cancer my entire life and have come to find I finally had it recently, as well as being tested for addison's after losing my uncle only to find out I had that as well. Along with asthma, depression, and anxiety disorder.
there's little left that can happen to me, I've had cars crash through my walls, been beaten, threatened others, had surgeries worked in the cold until I thought my lungs would break, been molested, lost the people closest to me.
It is hard to smile, and even harder to be happy, but sometimes, sometimes I am.
When I am here and I see something nice, it brings a smile to my face, when someone talks to me, it brings a smile to my face, when I find that someone looks up to me it makes me want to hug them and cry. I still laugh at funny things, I still love, I still learn, life goes on.
Even when the people in it do not, life always goes on.
Whether you choose to continue with it is entirely up to you.
Knowing that people in my life, my mother, and my sister, need me, gives me the strength to continue to push myself to continue.
I need to live, just until I know they are safe. My mom is healthy, but she is so much more delicate than I. and my sister is still young. I want to make sure the both of them are happy.
Sometimes it isn't enough to live for yourself. Sometimes you need to know that others need you too.
That's all I guess
I think I'll track this, for
I was constantly bullied for a long time about my appearance and where I used to live that eventually I let it eat at me, and it still stick with me. I have no self-esteem, or self-worth.
It's not an easy cycle to break. I find it very hard to see myself in a positive light, and a lot of times it shines out when I don't want it to.
I'm thankful I have a kind, patient best friend and awesome parents and many family and friends who help me along the way. Sometimes I do fall back, but it's them who help me through. I know for a fact I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for all of them.
I'm opening up a lot here.. not sure how i feel about that.
♥ Love, and be loved
Love, and be loved in return.
First of all- I do hope you
Well I am guilty iof feeling worthless sometimes. But If I start feeling that way, I mentally slap myself and tell myself that I have to stop being such a weakling, get a grip and stop being self-indulgent because the world does not revolve around me. My family supports me, I cannot fail them most of all. I have to be there for them. As for the rest of the world..I tred tio be there for them but was only used. Also I often found myself guilty of taing a break from doing things I'm supposed to do- but at the same time this is also needed to gain some distance. Sometimes when doings things for people outside family, good friends, even work, I get so emotionally caught up in it that I lose a sense of self and do not assert myself. And that is destructive. Big time. Because eventually you will get caught in a spiral- you will teach people to expect to always be there for them. if you're not, and let it get to you as a sense of guilt, it will enhance your sense of guilt and only hurt you more. It doesn't mean you have to stop helping other but learn to assert yourself more and let other see your needs to, foster your needs too so there is exchange. Helping one another in equal measure (my friend and I do that) has a healing effect and helps me gain distance, perspective and more confidence in the fact that I am in fact worth something that my opinions are worth something that what I do counts, that my smile counts- and a smile doesn't cost after all and I don't have to over exert myself and spread myself too thinly just to help...poarticularly if that wes me out emotionally. Letting others do something for me helps a lot. Even if it's just a short conversation a reassurance, anything. And family is the best at that. That is probably also why I keep a very narrow circle of friends. As I gain more experience I feel I make more sense of life, gain more distance to it and slowly realise that feelings of worthlessness are ridiculous and unfounded. And then I feel like I'm able to start living more fully and more happily and with more distance to things.
I do not fully understand your situation and I am sorry for your loss. However, I hope my perspective will be of some hmm interest perhasps, though I really do not know how to word for it not too sound offensive or rude. I'm sorry.
Take care and be well.
- A stranger perusing these posts
Hm, I think in order to keep
How do I see myself positively? I think that over the years, I've come to the personal knowledge that, while I do have many weaknesses, I have some pretty amazing strengths that sometimes even surprise me. I think the key to this is that I've found things that I consider myself good at, and I try to focus on those things when life decides to throw crap at me. Instead of looking at my weaknesses and seeing them as negative things, I see them as places that I can always improve on and continue to learn. It may seem cliche, but I try to adopt a 'never give up' attitude whenever I can, even if I really want to. I think a lot of my positivity stems from feeling satisfied about the little things. If I manage to make one person smile in a day, that day hasn't been a waste, and I know that maybe that one smile made the person's day a whole lot brighter.
How can I be proud of myself? While I am always pleased at myself for the large successes (good grades, achieving a goal, etc), I also try to be proud of myself for little things, like simply being polite or being there to listen to a friend in need. There is a fine line between being proud and being egotistical, and it's a line that you have to watch, but I think that most people can find many things to be proud of themselves for, even if it is simply for getting up in the morning and doing what you have to do. A tip for this is to think of what other people would be proud of you for, and trying to adopt that into your own mind. If you're really feeling down, take some time with a friend and be boastful for a bit. As long as you don't let it take over your entire attitude, it really is healthy and feels good to have an ego once in awhile!
What can you do to have pride and not be selfish or glorifying? As I said above, not all pride is bad. You can be proud of yourself and make that known without developing a narcissistic complex. I think what helps in this sort of situation is to do some exercises where you complete the statement, 'Wow, I'm really lucky because I'm
What do I do to stay positive during the day? Little things Quad, these are what make the world go round. Whether its simply an upbeat song that makes me smile, or a good conversation with a friend, a simple look at the sky to see the sun is shining, or a bad joke that makes you groan. Little things like that remind me that the world is a good place with a lot of wonderful things and people in it. I used to hate watching the news because of how negative it always seems, but recently I've started thinking about how, for every negative story they may show you, there are plenty of positive stories out there that are simply not spoken of because they are just every-day events. The fact is, the news networks tell us negative stories because they are the most unusual--for the most part, the world is a positive and good place, and we have to remember that.
I've taken some hits recently, and really questioned my own self-worth. I felt like I must be nothing if I couldn't even garner love from the man I'd spent so many years with. I've realized in the past few months though just how much I had been suppressed during those years, and I had forgotten how to be proud of myself simply for being myself. Recently I've been appreciating the little things so much more, and I've felt like a completely new person. I'm lucky in that I've got some wonderful friends that make me smile and laugh, but I think the most important thing is that they've helped me realize and accept that I am a happy person, and I am capable of bouncing back after hardships.
I wish I could say that it's a simple process and you just have to believe in yourself to be positive and you will be, but unfortunately it isn't. The world likes to throw curveballs now and then, and sometimes they catch you off guard. The key is not letting these shots keep you down. I offer my support whenever you may need it. I'm always willing to listen to woes and to try and give some positive advice.
I also give you this advice from a fish, it always makes me smile:
<3
I was born and raised until 7
I often look at my life and wonder what I'm doing - I'm 28, and I feel as if I've wasted a lot of time, but...
I know the one thing that keeps me going is very simple.
I have tomorrow.
We are so very fortunate in that tomorrow...we can do whatever we want to do. No matter how many mistakes you've made, no matter what you've done, tomorrow, you can decide to start all over again. Tomorrow doesn't care about yesterday. Tomorrow doesn't care about your mistakes and your shortcomings. It's not going to judge you on what you have or haven't done.
Tomorrow, you can go out and try to be a different person. Every tomorrow is at your disposal, to become who you want to be. It's like this train ticket that can pretty much take you anywhere. For all of your mistakes, all of your failures, you can always apologize and go forward. Failure is nothing more than a learning experience. And it's available to you. Yes, you have to work for it, but...
...if it's not hard? It's not worth a fuck, it's really not. But if you want it bad enough? You can do it.
I remember that, every day. I remember not only that, but I remember that for as bad as my life seems to be, there is always someone out there who's got it worst than me, who would do anything to have the luxuries I do. I am so remarkably thankful of my family, and the friends I've made, not only in the real world, but also here, and elsewhere on the internet. There are always people out there who will offer you support. Don't ever forget that.
In the meantime? This always makes me happy.
I've always had trouble with
I hate being sick and being laid up for any reason too, for similar reasons. I knocked that off as of last October/November xD I work in a restaurant, where sick/vacation days don't exist. I was also the only waitress there, so the owner was highly dependant on me, though there were other people she could call in. I got sick and ignored it... it got worse and worse til finally I had a sore throat so bad I couldn't talk and a cough that never let me sleep and set my chest on fire. I finally went to the doctor and I ended up having bronchitis. That can kill you. I ended up missing 2 weeks of work anyway because I screwed myself up so bad xD Now I take days off, hehehe. It was a good lesson.
I think these things have all
There have been times in my life I've hated myself so much that I wanted to disappear.
Things I've realized that have made it impossible for me to hate myself (once I catch myself doing it):
- hating yourself is a form of vanity, too. To imagine yourself 'the worst' is a grandiose inversion of imagining yourself 'the best'. Humility is knowing not that you are perfect, or evil, but that you are.
- hating yourself is a way of ignoring the gift of faith and love those who offer kindness give. Being too critical of yourself is like erasing the nice things told to you because "You know best". Not only is this vain, it is wasteful and a poor show of gratitude for the pleasure and fortune of others' attention and support.
Things I've learned about loving myself:
- When something is wrong, I can discover whether it is imbalance in body, mind, or environment, and I can make changes.
- If I cannot make changes, I can accept peacefully my circumstances.
- If someone tells me something about me is wrong, their point of view built from their life experiences may deny them the vision I have from mine.
Lastly. Maybe most importantly.
Love of self and love of brother are connected. Forgiving the shortcomings and mistakes of others is a step forward in forgiving oneself. Loving others is a way of loving oneself. Love is an expanding fractal, repeated as often as it emerges.
I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet
Added the checklist portion
Thanks for this blog Quad. I
I must be grateful for having such an easy uncomplicated life. I think lately I've been blocking a lot of those things that have been said here even though I know them.
That's a great list Quad I
I have struggled with an
I have found that looking at the world through Amazon's eyes absolutely helps me to stay positive. There is just no way to play a character with such a purpose as hers and not smile, hahaha. <3
I will definitely track this entry too: it is such a wonderful idea, Quad. I hope that you—and everyone—will find whatever it may be that you are searching for. Have some hearts, hugs, and cookies. ♥