Guess I'll always start these with "it's been a while!"
2020 SUCKS. It's certainly made me re-think a few things about what's important to me and whatnot. Mostly given me confidence in reassuring me on what I do want, which is out of this country. It feels like 2020 isn't just going to be "one shit year" but an ongoing trend. And I need to start deciding where I want to be, and where I'll be most happy for the future. Or well, I've decided that, just need to get onto actually doing it.
And one important thing for me was, before I could immigrate to Sweden, was to get my mental state checked out. I've struggled with depression on-and-off for years, but since the end of last year I felt my spiral down wasn't coming up again. Then 2020 happened, I started getting panic attacks, yadayada, So I'm starting therapy. Got meds too which so far has been interesting. Very early into that though.
Figured if I want change, I have to change too. Going to take it one thing at a time. I lost a lot of weight last year, then gained it right back when the depression hit again, not being too hard on myself because obviously the whole corona situation is also just generally stressful y'know. And at least I know I can do it. Hopefully when my emotional state is back in balance, it'll be easier to maintain.
Anyway!! I mean this is my personal blog so I won't go apologise too much for personal stories. And I think this stuff needs to be talked about. I spoke to a lady, kind of a general talk about what's bothering me and them checking on what I'll need to recover, and she caught onto me dismissing myself a lot through the conversation. That was pretty rough to get thrown back at me. So y'know, if you're struggling, you're not making it up. And don't be so fkn mean to yourself.
I've been having a waay better time lately in-game than, say 2 years ago, or even 6 years ago when I panic-fled. And I wanted to say thanks for that!! I'm so happy my gremlins have been taken in so lovingly. Starting with Weasel was an eye-opener, and Harin has been doing great for a character I kinda threw in without any good reasoning to it. So thanks!! To everyone who's been interacting with us. And anyone who still wishes to but hasn't figured out exactly how, hit me up aaany time.
ok bye see you in 6 months likely
I am NOT paused, so if I don't immediatly react, I'm simply not at the PC in that second; feel free to scream. 
I wanna go to Greece so bad
what do you mean by "some with eartips"?
@Thais: UUugh I have videos
UUugh I have videos of them on my phooooone they were so cute ;_; Couldn't get a proper shot with this lens hahah
@FishBiscuit:
Cat blessed!! And yes hahah me too, I'm really bad at holiday pics in general, mom always complained. Sure take a lot of cat photos tho.
@Amary:
It's so gorgeous there! I've been on a few islands in the past with my parents, but never in Athens before. Absolutely worth it tho.
And eartips mean that the cat has gotten their well, ear tipped! So they're part of a trap-neuter-return initiative and are spayed/neutered, which I hope to see more of obviously. However cute those kittens were the reality is also that most of them will die o_x
I wondered if that's what you
8 years! Holy crap. There's
Polt's story was one of my most memorable experiences in my time in TEF. You and Shimmy and everyone else involved really did a great job with that. It's been a long time since I've seen anyone else do a story like that, which is kind of a shame.
Things have changed and I'm not sure how many newer members even know anything about Polt. But I don't think not mentioning her name has anything to do with people not liking you. For one thing I can't think why anyone wouldn't like you, though I guess you can't please everyone.
Well now I forgot what else I was gonna say.
Anyway, I actually still think about her from time to time, but then she had a pretty big impact on one of my characters. And you know Oisín will never forget about her.
This is SO weird, this
Well, for the lack of profile
So some of it may be personal reasons, but I bet most of it isn't. And if it is personal, then oh well.
Also you can HMU any time you want to try another RP. I sometimes need prodded a bit, but once I'm into it, it flows smoothly.
♥
@Amary: And yet it surely
@Amary: And yet it surely is!! She died in june 2010, so we've long passed that point. 26th I think. But better wording: On that day, Otis and Sterre were born.
Aw that's great to hear! I kind of had that thought, too, but there were a lot of other stories as well. It does feel like it's not a whole lot recently, or it's all a lot more private. I mean I sure don't have time to do huge art stuff anymore so HAHA I feel that.
Oh I really didn't mean new members though! Like, it's been 8 years, by now I'd hoped everyone HAS forgotten. But there's been some, vague mentioning in a way that feels like I'm being pushed out. I never played her, or anything. But hey, could just be me feeling that way.
Aw Oisín ♥. I still hope one of my current kids can come hang out with him sometime. Even if none of them are as sweet as Polt :")
@Starling: Really! I still have that song BLOCKED HAHAHA. But it's been 8 years I should re-listen myself sometime. PART OF ME IS ALSO LIKE, WHOA, I don't want to look at my old shitty art from 8 years back. It's like an old TV show. It's better in memory ;_;
But it was! Don't forget parrotsnpineapple though, they really got me through that entire thing :"D
@Valeska: Noo no, I get what you mean but I'm really meaning something a little different. Ah I'd written out an explanation but I'm going to let it go now. Don't want to step on toes either. People might read this after all.
Ah yes of course!! I've been a lil overflown with RP's lately but I'll hit you up!
@Basen: ♥!
This is kind of a late
ANYWAYS, I needed to track this ♥
Laur!! THis is a way late
Ahh, that Oskar woodface is
That's amazing! Reading this
Hautakumpu: Uugh agreeeed he
Uugh agreeeed he is just so adorable. I love pink, and he had three pink ones with him, but this one's fur is just the best!
Starling:
Thank you!! ♥ It's still hard to believe, sometimes, and I feel I still havent recovered from the event entirely either heh. So tiring. But it was good!!
re-track ♥
Aaa happy late birthday!!
Thank you so much Hautakumpi
Ohh that tattoo is gorgeous,
Eeee thank you!! I'm super
And yeah! I had fun writing those. It at least forced me to think about these characters in plot-settings. Though I bet they could do a bunch more too. A good exersize!
Happy holidays for you and
You too Hauta, hope you have
Yeea, I'm gonna have good
Good good! (:
Forreal, I didn't visit tefc
Congrats on the exam and I hope both of you can enjoy Nightvale! It seems like tons of fun to see performed in-person, also Cecil is one of the coolest people ever!
Fish oawjdioawjdi I missed
I have some worries this is like, a big underlaying problem in the code somewhere and that there's just too many blogs or whatever. I dont actually have any real knowledge about these things, but I'm pretty sure just a server refresh is never going to save this website. It's a big bummer that they're bringing out TEF2 and then have this dumpster fire of a website to accompany the social community side. Which pretty much funded the game? But I understand there's no budget tho. Still sucks hahah.
Cecil is super fantastic, and I love everyone else on the crew as well. The energy was just really great, they were all having a good time and everyone got pulled into that. And the jokes at our dutch expense of course, amazing. We had a good time!
Grats on the 11 years! I like
I like to think the ooc party is not a phase, but an option. One hard to take for those who been here for years and got history. For the new faces, it's open. I'll want to keep it open. But I also got this tall dream of 'building a bridge' and bringing everyone together, so don't be surprised if you see me steering a mass of fawns and guests Altijd's way.
And pst, I think you got a typo in the register date there.
Thanks! Y'know what, you're
Y'know what, you're right! I think the difference is Everyone doing it vs a smaller group, but in all fairness whenever I see activity in the forest it's usually the fun OOC squad. And there's a bridge already here, we try to join in as often as we can, when I'm not away from the pc usually :") So steer those fawns right over!
Oh yes HAHAH That's embarassing. Besides my usual typo's. But it's 14-03-2008 of course, I kept my registery email <_>
Happy 11!
Thanks ♥ Don't think
This October
Congratulations on your 11
late but congrats on 11
I find it's easier to reuse
Polt's picto is really distinctive, though. It's always been one of my favorites. It looks like a running stick figure which makes it really easy to remember. And I don't think I've ever seen any really similar ones. For me it would be weird seeing her picto being used for another character, but I also think I'd probably get used to it. I haven't had trouble with people changing or swapping pictos before so I don't think I'd be confused. It'd just be weird at first. And idk how many people are in the community currently that have been around long enough to remember Polt. Though it's really more whether you'd feel comfortable reusing it.
It would be strange at first
Siellby: Yes! That makes
Yes! That makes sense, it's also a bit of a pictos-run-out kind of thing, and I still have quite a few laying around. Why would I use a new one if I still have a bunch.. Also hahah! I have a few with horrible passwords, which is why I made a list to begin with because it got impossible to remember. I think generally I get pretty used to people changing their pictograms too.
It IS super distinctive, which is why I like it, and why it almost seems a waste to just store it. I was making images of all my pictograms and honestly, gen1 is kinda dull unless you got those standy-outy ones, like Polt's. It's such a panicked stick figure. I think it's a handful of people at most who'd recognise it. And I think people by now know me long enough to know I don't resurrect, and it'd take one bio-glance to know it's not Polt. But I do feel it's a pictogram SO distinct, it'd really have to be a super solid character plan I could stick to ;x And really, no plans or anything, but I sort my accounts by "free to use" and "taken", so I had to think where to put a few old ones who used to be characters.
Parrot;
It would be! And for me as well? Somewhere? But it's also been 8 years so it's just nostalgia by now, for me at least. I have no specific plans for Polt though, she was just on my list. It's more of a recycling vs getting a new one thing. But it IS interesting to think about! Would I want to connect it to her lore somehow, or the exact opposite? Or would I even give it away. Stuff to think about.