Vessie's meeps'n'spices ( Do you like battleship? Here is a referral link with which you get Warspite and Diana! )

Mother Goddess's picture



Vessie's meeps and spices



Skype: fireflyness Discord: Fireflyness#3901 TH: ??? DA: ???
Artblog: TING Comission page: TING Gift page: ??? Requests: ???

Vess/Ves/Vessy/Havessan/Harvey/hARvEy/Harv/Tabby/Fire/Fireflyness
Mild NSFW warning.



14.05.2019 -//-

click this link if you want a good start with the game world of warships. I know I joined with a referral link myself from a youtuber to get some free goodes (One of which was the battleship Diana and I LOVE her. I even played wit hwarspite occasionally as she was granted to me for a limited time and I can safely sa she is good)

https://playtogether.worldofwarships.eu/invite/r5G7k15

I hope if the game catched somebody's interest we get to mee on the high seas and battle together l:)

5.05.2019 -//-
Im finally home! I've been to prague this time, it was half sunny and hot and half cold and windy.

No gorgeous pictures this time.

Also I...need help... I think I've pretty much proven to everyone how unstable I am with trust issues over the past months but...this really got to me when I've learned my BEST DAMN FRIEND just...can't anymore with me. ;-; My vent last week relates to this and I think it helped me clear my despair over all these issues I had with people to finally aproach this bigass thorn.

I really, really can't get away from some people.

From discord:
Also I've been, uber horribly unwell for the past two weeks and my bitterness hasn't really gone under really untill my mini vent. Recently, well two weeks ago, I lost a...very damn good friend of mine (in person), like so damn great friend we used to do everything together, she wouldn't even go out and eat if I was not with her and we pretty much kept each other afloat (she suffers from pretty horrid depression), if we got into pretty damn horrid arguments we'd make up just fine. But apaprently this here...would not be so. also nevermind I do have deep feelings for her but it's very hard to voice out...esp...now.

She's been under a lot of stress, from the death of her dog, from having to return her new dog, to breaking up with ...very short term boyfriend with whom she had nothing in common and is already trying to hook up with a new guy desperatedly...
Also very strange she...liquidated contact with a good friend she had because he tried to help her too much. I was...very concerned but...she then started to show the very same coldness to me. (for the note I was always there for her if she needed me, but I wasn't excessive; like I'd give her a call if she was absent from the academy and ask if she'd like me to visit her so that she's not all alone.)
Well anyway... that one week, two weeks ago she got...rather snappy at me. I often ask her to not talk to me if she can't really, y know, be... not snappy, or has that passive agressive tone on (she's content with not speaking to somebody for an entire day if she needs to). But she...just kept insisting somehow? It was that and or silence. But as I return from a class, two hours before evening classes start (she had 4 hours or so free doing nothing, so she could've gone home instead of waited for me to return to go home...) But she's been skipping evening classes for weeks now and i try to get her to y know attend them so she gets some foothold back i nthe acad:
"Wouldn't you just maybe stay with me for the evening classes?"
She: "Are you blackmailing me now?"
And i'm just baffled, staring at her as she leaves... And then the hell started...
She basically on later days acusses me on how why she should attend evening clases "for me", "so i'm not alone there" if i keep leaving her alone when I have classes...when the only reason she's alone is because she decides to stay in the empty atelier when she has free time...Considering I sacrifice some of my own classes for her wellbeing in the first place... but apparently she never saw that as what it is.
She's been pretty much telling our mutual friend how she doesen't think I care about her...And she got somehow angry that I never told her that I care about her? And I mean I've...I've told her that at least a million times and apaprently the mutual tried to assure her of that but naught, she apaprently has very selective hearing. It was just a massive trainwreck of pain at the end of the week...
I'm kinda very unwell to even start speaking with her again. She's pretty much proven to have very selective hearing and I really don't know how much anything would stick on her... Especially considering she thinks I owe her an apology and that she's innocent in this one. She also really...doesen't listen to me anymore either. I just kidna avoid her now... I really dont know what to do? Should I just wait it out, ask some other mutual friends for help? Are there any things specific that maybe I could say?







25.04.2019 -//-

TLDR I have paranoia, leave me alone.
---
I've been so quiet here, it's really nothing other than to realize people you THOUGHT you could trust are NOT to be trusted with. How long does it take for a person to completely turn coat and show you their true colours. So, YOLO, but I really can't be arsed anymore at this point.
For the note, I'm dead honest with people. If you think I hate you without ever telling you I do, I never hated you to begind with. I really have no reason to hate people for small disagreements...

People can't comprehend how damading it is, to ruin a solid trust with a person suffering from horrid paranoia. Only my still sane mind prevents me from continously going into pitfalls that would keep me in a continous cycle of stances that people are fact trecherous, that people do plot against you, that people are only pretending to be nice. Do you guys not see how this reaffirms my brain that it truly is so?
Is it okay to gaslight? Is it okay to cause anxiety to people suffering from it? Is it okay to... -//-
Do you guys get this?
And somehow people can't see past their high horse that they aren't the great people they make out to be, that I owe them something?
It just hurts way more if one was a long standing friend. This same thing happens in real life...

No, it's very hard to forget, it is. It is very hard.
But that is not important now. I just want to get away from those people, as far as can be.

...

I am now working on my diploma, I am working on my art station and I am working on a game full time now with international coworkers. I am happy so to say, my life is very busy.

I'm also looking out for some theraphy now, but the waiting list is long. I'm dispalying some awful characteristics of early onset of schizophrenia, and that's not even remotely fun but a very bad possibility seeing my relatives go down the drain the way they did...


1.1.2019 So much...

2018 was plagued with lots of sadness horror and dread, but it finished on a very positive note for me. My tumor feels smaller, amazing!!

Also it's very casual Smiling you guys can easily ask for me to bring a character in forest as if you were asking me what's my favourite colour ~ *

i have so many and i rotate them on my own, I never sort my ocs per activity either, as to not discourage users to wanting to itneract with those seemingly innactive.
But if you feel like you want me to bring X or Y out, don't fre to ask i'd be happy to put them in and have them sit beside or even interact if i'm more free with time~

Take care and mayb 2019 be amazing for a change.



18.09.2018 Mmmmm tumors

Hot an ultrasound and yep. It's basically what we already know it is.
A tumor.
Getting a second checkup in 8 months as a controll to see any growth changes.
If it grows rapidly i gotta call urgently in.



17.7.2018 brother issues

the family of my brother's gf is crazy. But...all seems normal and friendly again, even though they mother and daughter were at eachother's throat.

But it's all good again.


Also i'm updating some links. But decided to let things shfit to some good news too <3


17.7.2018 brother issues

And it does get even worse...

My brother's gf's mom manipulated her husband (who's a total shoe) to kick out her own daughter, and with it her son, and they cannot even move in the apartment that they already started to furnish )that belongs to the dad) and my brother already started to make a life for himself there with a nice job and all...

Also the bi cousin was a total jackass, he didn't behave like a son at the funeral, he acted like some creep bystander...
How heartless.

I'm really thankul for the support you guys.
I'm hgaving a bad headache from the standing in the sun. 10 in the morning to 20 in the evening. i'm tired...


13.7.2018 Drugs drugs drugs drugs

Apparently after weeping myself on and off throughout the evening and morning today was not enough.
Life came running with another punch!
My mom could not sleep (now, half of her siblings, which is three died prematurely. it must be so horrible i'm already tearing up by trying to emphathise)

My bipolar cousin raided my aunt's house for money.
Plainly awesome. Did I tell anyone that he lives in the old house with two whores and does drugs to the point that he developed shizophrenia?
Well now you know.

At least he said that 'we' can organize the funeral. Already looking for fine black clothes of mine...
Gotta try get him to not take any inheritance for the good of his son, he's bankrupt cause he didn't pay off his half of something relating to the house he lives in so whatever he'd get it would be taken away anyway.
If he didn't take it it would be given to the son and they could pay him off _something_ so he at least gets something and his son actually gets something too.

Just devestated. Yet more.
It's probably gonna get worse... I just have a gut feeling. Each day one disaster.
Teeth, tree, aunt, son...


And with this i'm in such an emotional low that i cannot bring myself to even play one game.
I never play games when at my low points.

And it includes tef... but it's a social game, so farewell.
For the people with families, i'll try to mess something up after this or during of what they were about to excuse their inactivity.

Love,
Fire


12.7.2018 Possible Trigger warning?? Cancer, Death

Two days ago I had my wisdom tooth removed. It wasn't a nice experience, but I did get to see my aunt right after since we're so close, held her hot hand for a bit just because not knowing that this would be the last time I saw her.

The next day I kind of knew what was comming...
She only asked me for my crochetting book last week. How did things turn so bad this quickly.

Metastasis on her bones, tumors in her brain. She was taken to the hospital a day before because of her inabiltiy to eat or drink (my maternal grandma died from dehydration due brain cancer, not being able to eat/drink is that bad).

Uncle died years ago from bone cancer, it's one of the most painful cancers to have.

She died...
At least she doesen't suffer anymore. But I wish her departure would not have been so ridden with agony.
She was such a major supportive figure in my life, for art especially.
I'll miss her.

And the nthere's the deal with her son who's so horribly bipolar, and doing drugs, which is no good thing onsidering he developed schizophrenia from it.

just idk anymore, a lot of things o do. The storm ruined my favourite tree a day before and it'll need to be replaced somehow. Old sorts aren't readily sold anymore.
Hhh...



29.6.2018 ...

Ugh okay so. I have a tumor, what can you do. Regular checkupts to monitor it is all.

HOWEVER guess who also has a tumor.
My cat.

And it's a particularly viscious one that (It's not cancer, it doesen't wanna spread to other organs so, PHEW) BUT it just wants to grow and grow and grow.
Some of it was still left behind so not sure if she'll be just monitured regularly (which will be very stressful for her, 's a reason why vets aren't too keen on having pets come regularly to the vet(stress is bad, obviously)) or if she'll need yet another surgery to get it all out.

She's so poor...




13.5.2018 OH JOY

It's a tumor.
Getting a biopsy...


tomorrow.




31.5.2018 ...

So after a long string of good events there is a lump in breast.
Hoping for the best sine I'm not in any risk groups for breast cancer but
My family was decimated by it.


I don't know yet but.
eh.


19.5.2018 PLOTTEING

ahem.
Plotting?
If you're like shy r something now u know I am looking for stuff and I don't know you wanna plot with me untill you poke me about it <: I don't have any grievances with anyone so come come! The more the merrier.

Cannibriel removes curses for good deeds to her and other roes.
Heller is a magic nullifier tormented bby.
Hecate drinks blooood. the drama with her old 'cattle' like evaporated due the gal disapearing but a new roud of manipulation and grooming could be fun. OR Tormenting my vampire!
Zephyr is now mostly trying to seduce, then marr.

Or if you have something else cool:
Octane Burner, Maryam, Tuien etc.
I defenitely wouldn't mind negative long term interactions.


18.5.2018 Extremely curious

How is Vuk recieved? I find him p. fun, but there is far more to him. I was curious if anyone else -beside- me would be willing to have a complimentary oc to him instead of me lol.

There are some minimal design limitations for the other character would come from my oldest headworld
There is lots of lore attached and a specific secondary role that has to be followed. (the white vampire (hunter)) the role outside that role is... up to whatever as long as it works.
other than that it's free game as far as everything else goes + plotting to add background and catalysts for future occurance.
Slavic or bust.
Exactly the same age as Vuk.
If youre less so creative pr clueless designwise. I have a design that i would have used (but severely touched up) for inspiration or use. (again, touched up)

17.5.2018 Hello there new bio of mine
New bio. The shape of this bio...I think and I hope will now stay like forever...I hope lol.
But i'll customise myself some different colour themes Laughing out loud One of which will be the olde grimy rusty one y'all gotten used to.
Maybe i'll do a nice sunsetty one too. But for now. Sleek black flowers.!

Well for now I'm just busy studying. Working for my Job. In animating hell for an important project. Hopping up and down everything as I visit my aunt in her home and try not to break down.
Been also missing out on courses due insomnia and hayfever. (Thank god the rain came so one less thing to deal with)
Otherwise a lil bit of a trainwreck atm. I have a subtle guess I may be slightly bipolar due the way my mood just swings from SUPER DUPER AMBITIOUS, and NEVER does said ambitions to a lump of dough on the floor.

Well anyway. Cheers guys for now.
ALSO PROBABLY















Lathyrus's picture

&hearts;



Luksus's picture

(No subject)

<3

Draconia's picture

Heyy

Heyy <3
Mother Goddess's picture

Look at all that suhar!

Look at all that suhar! <3
Hey guy's I'm super duper curious about which characters of mine people mostly asociate me? Cause I know some people have that one, two or three even if they are not in forest much anymore. I'm legit curious which are mine rip. OTL

Mostly ought of it after I realized how diverse my ocs are in personality while doodling em. And many others have either superbly cute, cool, disturbed af and etc. The closes I come to any sort of general thumb for a majority of ocs, "where is the face".
WonderfullySarcastic's picture

! look at all the

! look at all the pretties!
The style you chose for this blog is so appealing!

[e] As for who I associate with you, I gotta say Cannibriel and Torfastr. Babes.
#1354
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LooksForDoves's picture

huello >u> 'berry and torboy

huello >u>
'berry and torboy for me, as well as the handsy god

consider this a track

consider this a track <3
Luksus's picture

I'd say Apprentice, Torfastr

I'd say Apprentice, Torfastr and Grimhildr.

Basen's picture

(:

(:
Mother Goddess's picture

Guess I can't say I didn't

Guess I can't say I didn't expect torfastr not the one of them haha with how much art he's been getting.
Uitleger's picture

The Apprentice and

The Apprentice and Cannibriel, as I've seen art of them in pictures cat. and that's the way they stood out to me.
Mother Goddess's picture

Yeah. Back then when I posted

Yeah. Back then when I posted them, people looked more at art and wanted to discuss it more too. I do fondly remember the artworks I did of those two, especially the gritty apprentice art.
Witcher's picture

I'm not as active in-forest

I'm not as active in-forest as I used to be, but if you're fine with interactions over discord, feel free to add me and we can whip something up ^^ (my discord is in my profile!)
by saturnia

Basen's picture

yes

yes
Mother Goddess's picture

I must! Haven't checked this

I must! Haven't checked this around ages so I'll definitely get to ya'll for all the sweet plots once I finish my uber hectic semester.
tossercook's picture

Sending positive vibes your

Sending positive vibes your way

Signature by Wildflowerdeer and Profile by Sybilline

:eyes:

:eyes:
Evern's picture

Ooo exciting. I'm up for plot

Ooo exciting. I'm up for plot stuff!
Also, so sorry to hear that. Must be awful... hoping everything turns out alright soon. ♥

avatar by Sithrim!

Mother Goddess's picture

Thank you guys! I really

Thank you guys! I really aprechiate that.

My poor kitty, the vet said that there's still 3 centimeters of tumor tissue left (they ought they got it all out in one turn) So that'll be a total of 9 cm radius of tissue that will be eventualyl removed (with what was already removed) essentially. It's A LOT on a cat.
Thankfully vets aren't that costly like how they are in the cities, so it'll most likely be roughly a hundred euros, last time cost about 140, with the extra being for the lab test on the tissue.

But there really is nothing that we can do about it now.
Mother Goddess's picture

I'll be lowkey withdrawing

I'll be lowkey withdrawing from discord and tef, I usually cannot stomach games or anything I love at my lowpoints. But i'm letting people know since it is a social game. (this includes discord since i use it mostly for tef...)
I'll stay in touch with people that speak to me or I have something going with (commisions, rps, anything to take my mind off)

Otherwise I'll be mostly huddling over at skype with a select few people untill i'm more well and my mood for all thing living returns.
WonderfullySarcastic's picture

*hug!!!* Take all the time

*hug!!!*
Take all the time you need, dear.
That's a lot of things goin' down all at once and I can totally see how that's got you low right now.
If you need anything, please give me a little nudge on here or discord, alright?
#1354
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Saturnia's picture

Do take care, please

Do take care, please <3
Mother Goddess's picture

Thank you guys, also for the

Thank you guys, also for the ones that booped me over discord.
It really means a lot to me ;;

Even in the mass, the parish priest had a hard time not to cry. My aunt really meant the world to some people.
Flyleaf's picture

Trying to think of you too

Trying to think of you too Smiling
Avatar @ Sluggs Siggy @ Amazegenalo
Bouncing Fly by Mary13

Sending Strength

Sending Strength
Mother Goddess's picture

(No subject)

<3
It's slowly mellowing out, though I'm still thinking about my brother. But I think I've slowly got the appetite back to return to various fun activities and not feel bad about doing them.

Flyleaf I hope you're doing better, you need all the strenght you can get!
WonderfullySarcastic's picture

That extended family, yo.

That extended family, yo. Glad things are settling down and chilling some.
Methinks you have a bit of a typo in this update, tho :'D

"decided to let things shit to some good news too <3"
#1354
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Mother Goddess's picture

bwahaha. yeah. And...

bwahaha. yeah.

And... welll...the thing is the mum is a narcisist. And you need to learn not to say no to narcisists, something her daughter never did.
But things are much betetrn ow an d they were able to move into their apartment! so his drive to his job is sooooo much shoter now.
LostintheEcho's picture

Trackin!

Trackin!
Sigi by Wake

Mother Goddess's picture

I noticed you far too late

I noticed you far too late OTL, thank you for the track!