Young enough to dream {Me} Old enough to know.

I figured a personal update-blog wouldn't be such a bad idea.

So here we go~

Twitter-account

Updates will always be in bright red.

	Updates 12-009-2012 So I'm back at tEF and planning to completely revise all of my deer-bios. Which means new artwork, new CSS, updated info, everything. Man, that is gonna take an eternity and a cup of coffee... So if anyone knows some really purrdy and easily-edited CSS, don't hesitate to post it! Oh, and artwork is always welcome, even though I far from expect anyone to just randomly shower me with drawings, I'm not that much of a pretentious asshole XDD 17-02-2012 Wow, it's been a while! Anyways, it's my birthday today and I'm catsitting Francoeur who's sick, the poor dear... So no going home to my parents this birthday. They're coming over tomorrow, though, so no biggie. 22-11-2011 Saw Slenderman in the graveyard yesterday when I took a walk. I shit you not. He's getting bolder and bolder, coming a little closer by now. Came down with a bit of a cough recently too. Should I be more scared than I am, or have I simply realized my internet-induced madness is only that - madness - and nothing else? 29-09-2011 So yeah, might as well tell ya'll this since Dorian is participating in the rut; His HUMAN form is dead, but that's what catapulted him into the forest in the first place. That's right, that entire tournament was one giant flashback. He'll be shaky and jittery since he now REMEMBERS having been killed and more difficult to approach than normally, but he's still alive. Why? Because Voice of God says so. 23-09-2011 this is what happens when you tell your sleeping cat that you love him: hush now, monkey. 22-09-2011 Got a cat yesterday! Best decision of my life. Also, I had something to say but I forgot it... Wow, being woken up three times a night by an attention-wanting cat drains your brain. Oh yeah! I lost Willow Hill Asylum, but I'm gonna continue doing Spectator Entries. And here's a big shocker: *Dorian is dead.* 31-08-2011 Starting uni again tomorrow and I'm a bit anxious. Also, "started" a new comic over at DeviantArt but I'm not gonna continue it if there's not enough interest... I'm kind of insecure about it <___<;; 29-08-2011 Just made a Twitter-account! I'll be tweeting excessively from now on, I'm pretty sure. 27-08-2011 Returning to uni in a few days and I'm anxious. Feeling strangely melancholic today and for some reason anti-anaemic... I'm considering starting a comic that's all my own, not DA-related or in any way influenced by other ideas than my own. I just need a concept, a character and a vague plot and then I'm off. I also feel like drawing stuff in a very stylized way as contrary to normal. In that dark, depressing, highly expressionate way of Tim Burton and Johnen Vasquez. Meh, I've probably just read too much Johnny the Homicidal Maniac lately... Also, I wanna share this with you all once again, because good stuff can't be watched too often. GOD, I feel listless... 19-08-2011 So, I'm making a game. It's all good fun and stuff and Imma test it on you guys once it's... well, done enough to be playable. And then I'm gonna ask you guys what you would want in a game like that and pick the three best ideas and use them~ If they aren't too much work, that is. I'm a lazy bastard. 07-08-2011 LUUCYY, I'M HOO-OOME~ I went to a summerhouse with my parents, hence my absence, but I'm back for all to fear now~ I'll prolly be a little occupied, though, seeing as I need to spend some time with my sister in this coming week. nomnomnoms homegrown cucumber So yeah, sorry I poofed, but I'm generally really bad at saying stuff like that beforehand ^^' 09-07-2011: Added the artist's comments box at the bottom. Two of my deer need a little more development before I can really write about them, though ^^' 08-07-2011: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffuckfuckfuckfuck I've got ONE more day to finish my comic and two thirds of the pages aren't even edited yet!!! panic Also, would you guys like it, if I put up little boxes with MY comments on my characters' personalities? So far the ones on their bios only show a very shallow look at them and keep certain details hidden, such as Redd and Raleigh's past, Radio's origins, Monster's TRUE self... Would anyone be interested in knowing more?... 07-07-2011: I wonder... should I put my golden antlers here, or would that be flaunting them?...

~The naming of cats~
I dislike giving my real name to people on the net.
Call me
Busybody
Salem
Chickenwhite (Or any variation thereof)
Any nickname you may find appropriate~

~In the anaemic flesh!~
My looks:
Pale
Short
Blue eyes
Bushy eyebrows
Androgynous
A scar on my wrist in the shape of an omega
I wear black and white, style ranging from Gabriel from Constantine to Slenderman. (I own both the outfits at the top of this "bio")

~Oh captain my captain!~
My hobbies include:
Learning
Watching movies
Playing games
Snarking (at both of the above)
Drawing
Writing (though I am only mediocre at best)
Dreaming
RP'ing
Reading

~Tell me a pretty lie.~
I love telling stories. Whether it be through my drawings, RP'ing or writing, my stories will out. I like creating vast universes to draw people into, to take them on a trip, to give them an experience.
Hand me the pencils. Let me colour your world.

~Twists a turns like a... twisty-turny-thing.~
Though I love to take people on a trip, it is very likely it will become... Twisted.
My mind is capable of nightmarish visions and I enjoy infesting the minds of the innocent with these... So beware, go through the mirror and it might shatter.

~It's chronic.~
Some "disorders" of mine, mental and physical:
Perpetual people-pleaser.
Worry-wart.
Bad back.
Burns much too easily.
Somewhat fragile.
Bleeds a lot.
Socially awkward. (And how!)
Secretive.
Lethargic.
Laid-back.
Allergic to smoke. (Maybe dust too)

~Softly, now.~
Likes and dislikes:

♥Animals♥
♥Spiders♥
♥Friends♥
♥Being creative♥
♥Disney movies♥
♥Junji Ito and his works♥
♥The works of David Firth, though not the person...♥
♥Mindfucks♥
♥Nightmare fuel♥
♥Salt♥
♥Being spoiled♥
♥Doing things for others♥

♠One-dimensional people♠
♠Idiocy♠
~~♠Anyone who does not submit to my new world order♠~~
♠Ignorance♠
♠Getting stuck in games♠
♠Tobacco♠
♠High expectancies♠
♠Not understanding♠
♠Disrespect♠
I'll probably think of more later...

~In your head, in your head, zombi.~
I love the thought of duality. Light and dark, black and white... But I live by the principle that everyone is a giant greyzone. There is no such thing as a completely good or completely evil person according to me. I always visualize my heart as being a hard, outer shell of tar hiding a tiny, but strong light within for reasons entirely my own, but mostly because the image makes me feel good.
My imaginary worlds reflect this line of though very thoroughly. None of my characters are completely good or bad, they're all flawed.
Redd is a coward and has self-esteem issues.
Raleigh has a soft spot for certain precious individuals.
Even Crire tends to show his better side around a specific, little bird in a golden cage.
I won't get into everyone unless you guys want me to... Hey, there's a good point for the update-box...

Artist's comments
~On the many deer~
Directory

~Redd~
Being my first deer, Redd is slightly empty... a vessel for me to just run around in-forest. I tend to get a little detached from him as a result.
As much as I love hiding stuff and keeping things secret and up to the viewer to find, it's about high time I explained a few things about him;
His eyes are not his own. They were poked out by a maliciously designed mask very much like the one from Fatal Frame. The ones he runs around with right now are a pair granted to him by The Shadow Deer, an old design of mine. He is an ancient, evil entity who has been trying to get into the forest for ages, but The Twin Gods keep him out. So, he creates minions. He sets up a trap that takes something away from them and then he offers a replacement in their darkest hour. He gave Redd his eyes.
But Redd escaped him and got struck by amnesia as a result of his unbearable past, which involved daily beating and hard, physical labour. The Twin Gods now shield him from The Shadow Deer's influence.

~Raleigh~
Raleigh was a spur of the moment, a design I drew up and took a liking to, inspired by the secretary bird pelt.
He was another of The Shadow Deer's minions, having lost his legs to a village of humans with a werewolf-problem. They would cut off one of his legs every day to feed to the wolf, as they had done with so many young animals before him.
The Shadow Deer came to him as he'd lost his last leg and offered him a new pair. Raleigh was sceptical and sharper than Redd, so The Shadow Deer slaughtered the village to gain his trust.
Having lost his family to the village, Raleigh has a very strong connection to Redd, who he sees as his brother, seeing as he was the only constant in his life while in the care of The Shadow Deer. Being a messed-up kid, though, made him attack Redd on a daily basis to "make him stronger", causing most of the little scars covering Redd's body.
Raleigh didn't escape The Shadow Deer, he stayed in his service and in time came to The Endless Forest, looking for Redd and working as The Shadow Deer's spy simultaneously.
His soul does not reside in his body, but with The Shadow Deer, his "master", so he can appear cold and unattached, even doll-like at times.

~Crire~
Don't really have a lot to say about Crire, really, aside from he's inspired by The Devil's Trill and to some extend Kuroshitsuji (black butler).
He acts all high and mighty, but he's really rather insecure, especially after losing most of his powers.
He was spoiled in hell, kept in the black marble halls of Satan's palace, but was essentially just a doll for Satan, a little ornament to show off his creative powers. He was a prince, true enough, and a warlord, but he kept seeking affection from a place where he couldn't get any, due to his soul being forged from music, which gave him a much wider emotional range than was intended.
As a matter of fact, it gave him an almost human soul.
Which, eventually, caused his downfall, seeing as the angels figured his soul was not fit for hell.

~Dorian~
DEADTalk about breaking the pattern. Just as it looked like my characters were just getting more and more evil, THIS paranoid nerve-wreck manifests himself.
I honestly don't remember why I created him anymore, aside from the fact that I wanted to draw something utterly pathetic and ugly.
So a fellow with robotic limbs, a missing nose and a lazy eye sprang outta my pencil.
I didn't intend for him to be an OTC character at first, but he just seemed perfect for the Willow Hill Asylum when I found out about it. Killed by a mass-murderer
So he got a slap-dash human form (I still can't get used to drawing him with a nose!) and a story to tell.
Oh, another reason for his creation, was that I wanted to make a Deadpool-ish character who was unabashedly aware of his own role as an imaginary character, and explore the mental complications that would arise with such awareness in a somewhat sane mind.
So, aside from his phobias and somewhat erratic reaction-pattern to fear and panic, he IS, as a matter of fact, sane.
One might even call him ultra-sane. Click here to read what happened. Though he lives on in the forest. He now remembers being killed. He's not happy about it.

~Birth and Valentine~
Talk about boring. My least favourite characters, though that's probably because I haven't done much to explore them.
I love zombies and they're just another result of this love. But like any and all of my other characters, I love breaking conventions just as much.
So they became love-crazed musical-enthusiasts who'd rather sing than eat your brain.
They don't have much of a backstory, but if you got any questions, write them here and I'll answer them.
So this segment is pretty much a work in progress.

~Sebastian~
Yeah, he's pretty straight-forward...

Okay, okay, I'll go more into detail!
The idea? Can't remember where it came from anymore, pretty much just a conversation with Ven and he just blossomed from there.
There once was a plot involving him and Lazarus, Necrodiago and Dorian, but I'm not sure if that ever took off at all... Or if Ven still plays Necro... I hope to some day pick that up again, but explaining it in detail here would be a little too mind-fucking, as it involves a personal squick of mine... *shudders*

~Radio~
Radio was my first secret account and I royally blew it with the first post by doing some blatant character-theft.
Luckily I sorted it out with the person I stole from, though I still feel really bad about it... Needless to say, I'm not ripping off ANYONE in the future again.
He's an alien, a member of a species which acts as a sort of galactic gardener. They were the ones who brought life to planet earth and Radio was sent to nourish the planet with his radiation. A so called "seed".
He's going to die "young" (meaning at age 5-600-ish) to give his energy to the planet, which is what he was born for. Currently, he's in his late 90s, but he's only a teenager in alien-years. He ages incredibly slowly and extends the life of those around him if they're subjected to a daily dose of his radiation. So if he ever gets a mate, it is very likely the mate will live for as long as him in the most extreme scenario.
He spent a little time away from the forest with his kin, learning to control his radiation, so now he can heal minor, superficial wounds at will.
He will grow for as long as he lives, so at age 400, it is very likely he will tower above anyone in the forest and grow as tall as the trees.
The experiments he was subjected to makes him very fragile and brittle, though, so it is unlikely his legs would be able to support his weight at that point.

~Monster~
Good lord, do I love my little chupacabra~
He's by far my oldest character (age-wise, that is) having lived for well over 1000 years by now. He wasn't always so gentlemanly and scientifically interested. In his young days he was quite the cad, a wild thing who just loved the thrill. But as he grew older, he became much more academic, partially due to the loss of one of his eyes, relieving pressure from his brain.
He's half coyote, which is the reason for the shaggy mane and the bushy tail. He has a parasitic twin, which explains the extra "arm", which somehow managed to get connected to his neural system, enabling him to move it at will.
He's always been a shutterbug, ever since an old man took a picture of him and he then consequently stole the camera. His files go back centuries, though they have been destroyed multiple times by humans and nature, so he starts anew every time this happens.
He never does anything which can't benefit him in some way, but he always keeps a "pleasant" and gentlemanly demeanour around people to lure them into a false sense of security.
To him, everyone is just another test subject.
But that is not to say he's a complete monster; he still has feelings and sometimes they show, for instance when he comforts an old friend or chases an evil spirit off of an innocent youth.
He's a complicated individual, and one which even I have yet to explore all of.

~Cyanide~
To be explained later.

~The Mirror Fawn~
In need of interaction.

August 29, 2011 - 12:41pm — estme

I'll just steal your next

I'll just steal your next page c:

August 29, 2011 - 12:51pm — Chickenwhite

Heh, be my guest~ XD God, I

Heh, be my guest~ XD
God, I wish I had a good idea for that comic, though... TwT;;

—

August 29, 2011 - 1:28pm — estme

It's kinda funny, usually an

It's kinda funny, usually an idea comes first, doesn't it? o.o

August 29, 2011 - 2:17pm — Chickenwhite

Yup, I'm just weird that way

Yup, I'm just weird that way XD
But after all, sometimes your really just wanna make a comic... TwT

August 29, 2011 - 2:52pm — estme

Yeah, I think I know what you

Yeah, I think I know what you mean. I've been planning a big comic project for over 6 years and only now felt ready to start scripting it. Of course the concept's been changing dramatically through all these years and it's nothing what it was supposed to be years ago, but I have to start it eventually... Though I don't feel skilled enough yet when it comes to drawing.
But I guess scripting itself is going to take ages so I have a lot of time to practice xD

August 29, 2011 - 3:13pm — Chickenwhite

Dewd, not skilled enough? You

Dewd, not skilled enough? You got skill to up over both ears! Trust me, all you need is to get into the comic-making mindset >w< Also, some more confidence would suit you XD

August 29, 2011 - 3:19pm — estme

Well, perhaps my skill is ok,

Well, perhaps my skill is ok, but I'm not experienced enough, I think. I need a loooot of practice when it comes to backgrounds, perspective, coloring and shading a.k.a all the boring and tiring stuff that I need to know D:

August 29, 2011 - 5:00pm — Chickenwhite

Urgh, I know THAT feeling

Urgh, I know THAT feeling <___< My backgrounds still suck so much and there's a reason why I only work in pencil when it comes to comics XD
I think if I ever did a comic, it would be b/w... Which is kinda funny, 'cause I remember hating those when I was a kid XD

August 29, 2011 - 5:01pm — estme

Haha, I also used to hate

Haha, I also used to hate those XD
But I'm going to make my comic in colors. I simply can't imagine it B&W.

August 29, 2011 - 5:16pm — Chickenwhite

Fair enough, some ideas just

Fair enough, some ideas just won't work in b/w >w< I'm getting curious, what's your idea for that comic anyway? >w<

August 29, 2011 - 5:46pm — estme

Oh, in general that's gonna

Oh, in general that's gonna be a long story about my most important OC (whom I have also introduced in the Endless Forest and here he's known as Avocado) and his father. There's gonna be lots of intrigues, magic, demons and all the fantasy stuff. Some silly humor from time to time, but in general the story itself is rather serious. Hopefully, not too boring or confusing!
The plot is mostly based on the roleplays, stories and such created on the community site I'm most devoted to. We're a very small, kinda withdrawn community that evolved from a virtual dragonology school (haha, I know, it sounds funny XD) into an independent fantasy world (our story is a pretty long). Many characters that will be introduced in the comic don't belong to me and I am hoping that people from the community will help me in realizing this project (:

August 29, 2011 - 6:20pm — Chickenwhite

Ohh, that sounds neat! >w<

Ohh, that sounds neat! >w< Sounds like one of those big projects that's gonna demand a lotta time >w<

August 29, 2011 - 6:22pm — estme

Yeha, you're probably right,

Yeha, you're probably right, I'm afraid XD

August 29, 2011 - 7:17pm — Chickenwhite

Oh, well, it's also the kinda

Oh, well, it's also the kinda work that brings pleasure just by doing it >w<

August 31, 2011 - 9:23pm — Chickenwhite

update

September 1, 2011 - 5:40pm — EternalQueen

Late track >:'D

September 3, 2011 - 10:38am — Chickenwhite

Late hug! >w<

September 3, 2011 - 12:42pm — EternalQueen

\(>v

\(>v<)/

September 22, 2011 - 8:58am — Chickenwhite

September 22, 2011 - 9:38am — EternalQueen

o I DEMAND YOU TO POST A

*o* I DEMAND YOU TO POST A PIC OF YOUR KITTY-CHAN! x3 <3

September 22, 2011 - 11:46am — Chickenwhite

I like that that's the most

I like that that's the most interesting point in the new update XD
But I definitely will >w<

September 22, 2011 - 4:52pm — EternalQueen

D: Sorry about that, I was in

D: Sorry about that, I was in school with a teacher glaring at me, so I only read the first part of it. -w-'

I don't know what Willow Hill Asylum is, but my guess is a comic?

And I'm sorry about Dorian Q.Q Isn't it kinda sad to kill of... How to say without getting misunderstood... Um your efforts/thoughts/character just like that?

September 22, 2011 - 8:38pm — Chickenwhite