...Why Am I Still Here ?...

Fenqua's picture
Why am I still here?
When I know I'm too old to catch up,
To life that is quickly passing me by.
Why am I still here?
When I know my children live without me,
Finding their loved ones when mine are fading away,
And leaving me in dust.

Forever leaving me in dust.


---

Just venting my/Fenqua's thoughts. Mine because lately I've been missing a lot of stuff that has been going on here. I'm trying to keep up, but it seems I'm showing up late for the party every time. Not a cry for a attention, it just sucks, lol. XD
And her thoughts because she's getting old. Faytha left her to seek her own home and Fenkovan is doing the same, they've grown up enough to stand on their own four legs. She feels useless and left alone, because she barely sees her beloved mate and father of her children.
(Not blaming you for anything Raku!)

I let her in Forest sometimes, but she rarely approaches others anymore. They're young, different and probably not interested in an old bag talking to them. At least, that's what she thinks. She can't find a good connection with young/new deer.
Seele's picture

She should chat up a bit

She should chat up a bit with Seele, he has a bit of the same thing XD Although he never had kids D8 Well I barely see you in forest anymore XD Not that I'm around for the big things anyway, but yeah. I could stay up 24 hours a day and still miss it. They WAIT till I'm gone ¬.¬ XDD jk.

--Stays a lonely Seele

Fenqua's picture

Yeah true. I'm not much in

Yeah true. I'm not much in anymore, due to the recent events I didn't really felt like it. But it's all good now so I don't have an excuse anymore DX
But yeah, even when I'm very active (like.. not too long ago) I still miss all the good stuff. And I feel so excluded, even when it's not done on purpose. Every time I'm like.. 'Wait... WHAT HAPPENED? D:'
And it even made me think of giving up and just leave. But I that's... stupid. XD

Guess I'm throwing out some characters though. Some of them really aren't played. Especially Q. Well I think he's the only one actually. I adopted him and never really felt a connection with him, even when I turned him into a cool, coldhearted guy with a great story. Sometimes it's just not meant to be, I guess. O.o

I'll stop ranting now XDD



To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul


To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul
Seele's picture

You can always try and get

You can always try and get involved after XD Or just enjoy reading upon it. I can never worry too much about it because there's not much use in that. I just dislike missing abio's. *WANTS A WRESTLERS MASK BECAUSE IT'S UGLY CAPSYAY*.
Yeah I can see how that's hard when you adopt a deer.. I always let them tell their own story's, but if there's no click that's impossible. Usually the picto does it XD Ah, you should do what you think is best. That way you'll enjoy your stay the most. And ranting can be good for your health!

--Stays a lonely Seele

Pegasicorn's picture

I tend to miss stuff, too,

I tend to miss stuff, too, even with how active I am. |D It's all about timing it seems. (Like how I JUST missed the surprise Abio. >.< )
But Scape's even older than Fenqua, and he still manages to socialize with other deer. But then..that's his character. He's usually a bit hyper, though he does seem to be mellowing out a bit lately...
Eh, I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. |D

---
The Dragonfly Deer's Biography
Pega's Forest Philosophy: "Look for Friends. Let Love find you."
"If you don't like something, tolerate it."

Bawwwww ;.; Meh, I always

Bawwwww ;.;

Meh, I always feel left out too...xD;

-- Dannii <3

Fenqua's picture

@ Misako: Well, I enjoy

@ Misako: Well, I enjoy reading and looking at the many pictures (like for Wudiin!). But it always makes me wish I was involded to. But maybe one day, who knows?

And I agree about the click. Sometimes it's just not there. I tend to be closer to the deer that look more like me. Like Silvery, she reminds me of me when I was younger. While Fenqua reminds me of a present me, although I'm not as gutsy and bitchy as she is. Together they form me XD Juliet is someone I idealize, a kind and selfless person. Spangled is my crazy, hyper side. And Amara... I don't know, but playing her feels different from my other deer.

Btw, I have a Wrestlers mask 8D It's on Fenkovan.

@ Pega: I see what you mean. Scape is indeed older, but I doubt if he's older in age too. Fenqua is a realistic mother, meaning she has really aged while her children grew up. So socializing is less important and also harder for her. She feels different somehow, it's hard to explain.

@ Dannii: Oh love -hugs-. Lorak had a cool fight with Parasol though XD



To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul


To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul
Verdalas's picture

I demand that Fenqua and

I demand that Fenqua and Walter have a sit down and chat about the good old days!
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Kanaf's picture

oandgokn in all honesty i

oandgokn

in all honesty i dont keep much track of anything.. i should really play Skokey a bit more, they need to see each other again! i wish i could catch you when youre awake normally, but im usually doing jobs and hanging around my brothers and all that.. and its gonna be even harder since i have drivers ed coming up DX

ive had these same thoughts about Skokey too, and Vessel.. just know that i picture Skokey just CLINGING to Fenqua in imagination (outside the Forest aokdgn) like... Fenqua says shes going somewhere and Skokey wants to know every last detail XD hes still like that, after all this time. but im not sure you knew that

i cant really find connections with other deer either, it always has to be one of my friends...

I'LL BE THE HERO.
... AND EAT IT.
Fenqua's picture

@ Verdalas: Hmm yes, that

@ Verdalas: Hmm yes, that could be a good idea. Walter is even older than Fenqua I guess. I don't they ever met by the way... maybe that's a good idea for the future Eye

@ Raku: Hmm, maybe just after a while a character seems to be... complete. Part of me tells me they grow until their death and maybe beyond, but somehow Fen seems finished. I can only predict the becomes a little softer as an old lady (or the opposite) but that's about it. Her job is done and even while being with Skokey it's still just... waiting for the end. Like many of the old people do where I work (sounds cruel... but sometimes it's just like that). Maybe she just needs a new hobby or something. Or a new fawn to take under her wing...

I randomly come up with stuff while typing. Maybe it would be good for her to adopt a fawn ^^



To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul


To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul
Kanaf's picture

adopting a fawn sounds like

adopting a fawn sounds like a really good idea, it would give Skokey something to do too XD and maybe once Clock finally recovers, he and Fen can actually have races LOL ive actually wondered how that would go over

I'LL BE THE HERO.
... AND EAT IT.
Fenqua's picture

Yeah! Maybe we should put up

Yeah! Maybe we should put up a blog entry or something. Any lost fawns can come to us XDD It'd be nice to help raise a fawn of another player, I've always wondered how that would be. It's not the same with the twins, since they were hardly played before the grew up. I did play Fenko, but unfortunenately I can't run two games at the same time...

So... what do you think? XD



To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul


To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul
Kanaf's picture

i totally agree 8D im up for

i totally agree 8D im up for it (you already know but LOL) <333

I'LL BE THE HERO.
... AND EAT IT.
Verdalas's picture

Adopting fawns? Always fun.

Adopting fawns? Always fun. Just make sure they don't decide to run off like a mad cow. Walter has had plenty experience with naughty fawns. Either they get punted into the pond or eaten. ^_^

Now you make me want to have Walter adopt a fawn! *Sulk*
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Fenqua's picture

Walter is the fawn king 8D I

Walter is the fawn king 8D I believe he has adopted many XD

I think Fenqua should start off with one, I think more will drive her nuts. The twins were a handfull and she's older now, so she needs to take it easy.

But she'll race Clock anytime Raku. I wonder who will win; youth or pure willpower!



To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul


To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul