Her wounds stinging, her heart pounding, her white fur painted on with crimson blood, her small body shaking. She couldn't help let a lake of tears fall from her face, mixing in with the blood on the ground. Blood was everywhere, new and old, in the corner of the den, where it was the coldest. Her tiny little claws were no help, she wish she would die, at least that would be better then living in this hell where watching her own blood fall was a daily thing.

No kitten should live this life and think these thoughts. But she did. And she wept and sobbed. When this first started she would beg and plea for the pain to stop, but after suffering something even darker, she said nothing, only cried as her blood splattered across the den wall.

"Look at you, crying your eyeballs out! That just proves how weak you are! You shouldn't of been born. You are useless, a disgrace, nothing but another mouth to feed. The clan needs strong warriors, not runts! If I were the leader of this clan I would make sure that every single runt in the world will pay for their existence!"

She stopped crying immediately, but that didn't stop the pain. Not one of her siblings came to help her, to comfort her. Laughter is all they did, lucky that they weren't in the same condition.

She strained, trying to say something, but it was like the voice was smacked out of her. Her teeth and her tongue were covered in blood, it spilled out of her mouth.

"What is it? Were you saying something?"

Finally, she caught her voice.

"Kill... me. If you hate me so much, why don't you just kill me right now? Why didn't you kill me when I was born?" She said, as a single tear fell.

"Because, dear, I would be exiled if they found out I killed you. I have to achieve my goal and become the leader of Riverclan, and then the leader of the forest, so every single runt is dead, including you. If I were exiled, that wouldn't happen, and you don't want to make your mommy sad, would you?"

No, I hate you. She said in her mind. When she was angry she would curse and say things at her mother in her mind. She would be beaten if she said that in real life but still suffer though, and wish she would just instantly die.

"You disgust me." Was the last thing her mother said, as she walked away and played with the other kits, leaving her in a puddle of her own blood.

And as she lied there, she sent a silent prayer to Starclan.

Dear Starclan,

Please. Kill me. Right now. I don't want to suffer anymore. I don't want to see my own blood fall. I want to live in Starclan and watch mommy be exiled. I want to watch her die and become crowfood.
I thought mommys where supposed to love their kits and be with them, help them, not beat them just because they are smaller than the others.

Who am I? I am a kit? Am I a monster? Am I even a living creature? Who am I? Who should I believe in this dark, violent world?

At least she loves my brothers and sister. She loves Wolfkit the most only because she has blue eyes, like herself. I don't understand why she would love her more because of this, but she does. My brothers both carry daddy's eyes, the color green. I have a blue eye, but mommy still doesn't love me because I also a green eye, too.

She treats Leafkit and Owlkit pretty much the same. Leafkit just goes with the flow, and doesn't say much, but he still is loved so much by mommy. Owlkit and me are best buddies. I love him as a brother, and that is the only reason why I wouldn't want to die, and my daddy. Daddy understands me. He wanted a family and loves us all, but mommy only had kits so we could have more warriors in the clan. She says that she wanted us because she always wanted to have kits. But I heard her talking to daddy one night. She said everything. But I didn't see them, I only listened to them outside the den. Then mommy started to get mad at daddy and then I smelt blood. When mommy walked in I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep, but I could see blood was covered all over her teeth and claws.

Daddy's okay though, but we rarely see him much. When we do my heart beats with joy. He loves us all. In fact, I even asked him which one of us he loved the most, and he said he loved us all. He plays with me, he gives me warmth, and sometimes I even laugh. Mommy doesn't make me laugh, but daddy does.

That's why when I die, I'll be waiting for Owlkit and daddy to come. Then I'll be happy to be dead. We'll run and play, without mommy ruining the fun.

Of course, now that I think of it, I don't think I wanna die just yet. There might be tough times now, but I can make myself happy by thinking about the future. I'll grow up and become a warrior, and I'll tell the leader about mommy and how she wants to kill every runt. They'll exile her and she'll die. And thinking about that will make my day much happier.

Starclan, you're a great friend, and so are Owlkit and daddy. I like to talk with you. At least I'm loved...


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OKAY. THAT. WAS LIKE. THE MOST EMOTIONAL THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN. I ACTUALLY TEARED UP IN SOME PARTS.