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Oº°‘¨ Love and Friendship ¨‘°ºO
It is late in the Summer yet feels like Spring. There is so much talk of love being in the air...I have watched as deer gained and lost mates. I have seen hearts breaking and torn as well come together once again. I only observed from afar, however, for I never came to this place in search of love. I had once had love but it vanished amongst everything else I once knew, but that was sometime ago...I am sure that the fawn I once knew has long grown and forgotten me.
My human knows of it well. She and her human mate have been together for quite sometime. She tells me about 'love', saying it is the most beautiful- and at times painful - thing in the world. She tries to describe to me the deep devotion to each other that she and her mate share, but I do not fully understand. As I gaze at her in confusion, she gentle smiles while giving me a pat on the head saying, "Maybe one day you will."
But why would I? This Forest is full of such elegant and beautiful does who dance in the sunlight. Their fur glistens as the rays all upon them; their eyes sparkle in the light. 'Tis no wonder why I, such a dark, dull doe, remains in the shadows. I am not like them though for it has never bothered me to be forgotten by the stags. I only feel out of place whenever I stand next to a pair...but the loneliness subsided whenever a friend's call said my name.
I am quite a fool though for I had let my view of myself blind my eyes and make my ears deaf to my heart. Love had once chased after me though I found out much too late. The signs where there and I had wondered if it were true, but fear kept me from asking or from pursuing it. After all, there are many better does than I. I made myself believe that his words were to another and once I discovered that they were to me, he was gone. Yet looking back at it, I cannot help but wonder if his feelings were true or if they were just substitutes since I had resembled another.
I do not know what he feels now, nor does he need to say. Friendship is all I truely ask of him, yet, I question if that is what he wants. I try to approach him though all he does it turn and run away from me. Is it something that I have done? Is it because I did not return the feelings? Or is there something else? Perhaps it is the deer who sits beside me? Whatever the reason maybe, it pains me to see that the one thing I ever wanted, friendship, maybe crumbling before me.
Reetno: I do not know what had happened during your absence but I cannot help but feel guilty over it. There is something that makes me believe I may have helped to cause it. You keep running from me...Or is it even me you are running from? I wish I could read your mind and know what to do or say. I do not know if I should continue to chase after you or if I should keep my ground. All I know is that for now, I shall remain here waiting to discover what has happened and what is happening.
Darcy: Even with the troubles that hang within your heart, you continue to stay beside me to comfort me. You know him better than anyone, maybe you can give me insider information as to what the problem is and what I should do. I can sense tension between the two of you and I am sorry if my efforts to reunite you and Reetno made the tension worse. There is so much that I feel I have missed or have been oblivious to...But I thank you greatly for standing beside me.
Atiq: Thank you greatly for your kind words in your recent writings. You are a magnificent stag and I admire your dedication to your friends. I am sorry that our recent meetings have been chaotic and short...
Rowan: Hehe...What has been the deal? We both have returned from our vacations yet we have not yet met up again the Forest.
Fulu: I do not know when the last time I had seen you. I suppose it was right after Wyvern had returned. I wonder how you have been doing and how you are coping with the pain.
Skokey: Much like Fulu...It has been so long since I have seen you. Dear friend, I question how you are doing as well and hope to see you soon.
Jadine: You are yet another deer that I have not played with in such a long time. I have heard of your new mate; much congratulations to you both. Though I have also heard of his troubles in entering the Forest...I hope all turns well soon.
Emiva: It was so nice seeing you earlier today, even though it was only for awhile. I am thrilled to see that you are holding up well after going through such a difficult time. I continue to hope for the best for you.
Vesper: I am still very sorry about the last time our paths crossed. I did not recognize you with a new set and I let too much cloud my mind. I cannot believe I had ignored you. Please forgive me.
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Oº°‘¨ Fearful ¨‘°ºO
A few days have passed since everything fell apart. They have been long, empty days that have left me wondering what lies around the corner and beyond the horizon. The smiles are gone; the sounds of our laughter have faded into hollow echos of the past. Happiness has turned into a pale ghost that haunts our memories.
I have spent my hours in the Forest by his side, trying desperately to give him the strength he needs to continue onward. I have seen time wear on him. His eyes seem duller and darker than usual. His head hangs lower as he walks. It pains me to see him this way...I remember the days where he had as much spunk as I did but now it seems as his life has been drained.
I lay by his side in his darkest hour, hoping that I can bring some comfort but I question just how much I have helped. I can never replace the friendship that he use to have nor would I ever try to replace his best friend, but I can at least try to lift his spirits a bit for I do care for him just as much.
I see him try to hide the pain, but I know his smiles are fake. I know that deep down, it eats away at him. I do what I can to let him know that it is ok to be the way he is; I try to help him remember that no matter how out of place he feels, this is him home and he is among those who care for him. I only wish that I could do more for him...
So here I lay, among the dead, hoping that the spirits from the past may give me guidance for our future.
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Oº°‘¨ Acceptance? ¨‘°ºO
I saw the silent stag, Bells, once again today. It was the first time in quite awhile that I had seen him slowly walking through the Forest. I spotted him from my spot in the Ruins while thinking and spent some time observing from a far. He and I had had some clashes before, I did not want to be a nuisance so I questioned rather or not I should get close.
He had gotten up and began walking towards the pond. At the time, I had no other friends to spend my time with...and curiosity got the better of me once again. I do not know what intrigues me about him, but I decided to follow him. Though I respected his desires and kept my distance.
I walked slowly behind watching as other deer either approached him or moved away. Though we did come face to face for a brief moment on the bridge. I simply stepped back, clearing the path before him. He looked at me for a bit leaving me to wonder if it was out annoyance or of tolerance.
Then the second silent stag, Vessel, appeared. I have heard quite a bit about him before. I had heard of his sorrowful past and his special ability to see other's dreams. I have been wanting to meet him for awhile but I was nervous to approach him as he sat beside Bells for I did not want to intrude. He had gone to greet Atiq which I used as my opportunity to meet him. He and Bells then walked off together. Once again, curiosity pulled me like a magnet behind them. I have never seen any deer like them before; I wanted to know more, to learn more about them both. I did keep far back and quiet, mind you, watching from behind the trees.
Then I took a brave step towards them. I wanted to know if I would be accepted but I was terrified that I may have already rubbed them the wrong way and would be turned away. I tried to ask if it would be alright for me to lay with them. I scratched the ground, laid down, but then stood with my head cocked to the side. Perhaps I was not clear for I only seemed to confuse Vessel with my behavior. I had noticed that Bells had not stood up to walk away nor did Vessel push me way, so I figured that it was their way of approving me. I laid there for some time with them, before Vessel disappeared. Bells stood up and looked at me. His eyes seemed to go through me and I saw no twinkle in them; though I have come to expect that in any deer I meet since so many of my friends have hurt hearts.
He returned to the Ruins with me, once again, behind him. Though I had noticed that some good friends had entered the Forest and that some unknown deer were approaching me. I knew that I wanted to dance and leap with my friends and that I wanted to meet these new deer, but I also knew that our playfulness would only annoy Bells. I figured that I had bothered him enough for the day, so I lead my group away from him. Though I did continue to watch him from the distance as I played. But that is when I caught a familiar scent in the wind. Reetno had awoken.
I ran to him to greet him. He seemed happy for awhile. He hopped around with us, danced with us, ran with us...But I saw that he was only hiding his true feelings behind a mask. It was not long before he turned away from the group; of course, I followed. I laid by his side in the sunlight as Vesper ran between the two of us and a group of playful deer. I spent the day trying to balance my duties: my dedication to helping Reetno and my loyalty to my friends.
We had moved to a couple locations in the Forest. I once again took was by Reetno's side when he looked over at me. He told me that I did not need to stay, that I was free to join the other deer. Of course I knew this, for was it not my choice- my free will - to be at his side? So would it not also be my choice to leave? I was then torn between what I felt was right (to stay near him) and what I felt he wanted me to do (to step away). Maybe I was not giving him enough space...Maybe he needed time alone to think...So I got up. I respected his wish while still listening to my heart. I did not go far; I kept him in my sight but then he went away...
Before I left for the night, I caught a glimpse of a ghost. Darcy had returned. Our visit was brief but he seemed much like his old self. I only wish he had come sooner. I feel that seeing him would do Reetno a lot of good.
Reetno: If space is what you need...Then I guess it is what I should give you. Just please, do not forget that you have friendship in me and that I shall always be here for you. I shall still stand be your side even if I am physically not there.
Darcy: I can not put into words how good it was to see your return. I wonder if it is a permanent return or just a visit before disappearing into the mist again. I hope that your path soon crosses with Reetno's though. He seems so lost without you...
Vessel: It was quite an honor to finally meet you. Even if our meeting was brief, I have been wanting to meet you for some time. After all, I have already met Skokey and Fulu.
Bells: Have you come to tolerate me...?
Vesper: It was so nice to be able to frolic with you once again. I also appreciate you understanding my situation and sitting with us.
Atiq: I feel bad...I should have done more with you today. I should have played longer than I did.
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Oº°‘¨ A Distant Return ¨‘°ºO
They saw each other today. After being apart for sometime, I can only imagine what may have been running through their minds as they looked each other in the eye. There was much joy. I joined them in jumping around and dancing to celebrate the reunion. For the first time in awhile, I saw him smile. It brought warmth to my recently chilled heart.
Thought things did not seem to be the way they use to. I still saw them hang their heads. Was it in sadness? Or in shame for abandonment? I am not quite sure; there is much between them that I do not know nor do I understand how they read each other.
All I can do is hope the things continue to improve.
aww Kumico you sound like
-peers at curiously-
I wish I had answers for
I wish I had answers for you, Kumiko…Reetno has been acting quite strange today. It seemed even to me that you two were getting along well, and I was happy for you both. Perhaps his human’s machine was acting up? Or…maybe…-sigh- I don’t know. You may have been avoiding me, but I do not think he would have done so and forsaken you as well. Tension? I had not thought there to be…though I suppose my depression causes everyone tension. If you mean as to why I seemed angry at him, well…of course! He was making you sad, and avoiding us both…I think that warrants a little anger! I wont jump to conclusions, however…as I said, he was acting a bit strange earlier as well…
Do not lose hope in one day of confusion, my dear. Reetno cares for you, I am sure of it, and I can’t see him purposefully hurting you -nuzzle-
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Jadine: Yes...I am ok. I'm
Shyla: Ah, you're the new fawn to the Forest, aren't you? I do not believe we have met but feel free to ask questions or observe.
Darcy: Perhaps it wasn't tension I was sensing but something...Just did not seem right. I know that I was angry at him, too. It hurts me to see you two not getting long and it hurts to see a friend walk away from me. Though he was acting strange earlier...? I wonder what is going on.
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Fan art done by Quad.
Biography
†wïlïgh†'§ ÇhïlÐ: Index
Don't worry about it,
Perhaps we shall run into each other again some time soon!
Vesper: Yes, it was nice
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Fan art done by Quad.
Biography
†wïlïgh†'§ ÇhïlÐ: Index
It was nothing you did
(Human had nothing to do with it though, lol... I was just in character)
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Feed it! Feed it NOW!!
I'm relieved that the anger
(Haha. I know. When isn't everyone in character?
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Fan art done by Quad.
Biography
†wïlïgh†'§ ÇhïlÐ: Index
Out of queriosity, my friend
*shakes head* No, I was
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Fan art done by Zabrath.
Biography
†wïlïgh†'§ ÇhïlÐ: Index