WARNING!
This story contains mature content.
Meaning references to parts of the body, voyeurism, crude humor, creepy pick up lines, a genderless deer, implied evil deeds, and other such Mature content. If you cannot handle the mature content in a mature manner then leave this story now.
....
Still here?
Then proceed.
You can't say I didn't warn you.
The forest was a strange place wit strange denizens.
had spent the good portion of a month exploring the forest but had yet to meet every inhabitant.
It had for some time been watching one citizen in particular.
Maybe it was the skinny frame.
The strange claws.
Those unblinking eyes.
Or even that inky black face.
It could not explain its attraction to this strange creature that lurked in the shadows.
It had tried to directly approach the being several times and was avoided in turn.
You think a being that spent so much time staring at others might want some company that didn't make such strange noises occasionally.
If it had any chance of meeting the skinny stalker it would have to beat him at his own game.
slowly crept through the reeds in the form of a frog. It's target was hunched down in the long grass at the edge of the pond. His attention was focused on two young does rinsing off and playing in the water. It vaguely recognized them as being named Kaoori. The other was unrecognizable. It was aware that Kaoori was with child and made a mental note to congratulate her later. hopped closer to the long reeds and settled down by his frail prey. Doctor Dumaya was just as stunning up close. That sleek frame, the giddy nervous laugh, sharpened from claws and that voice! It was in awe. It sidled up closer and watched with the Doctor.
"Nyehehehe...Yeah baby you wash up real good. Not too sterile though, Doctor likes his girls dirty."
tilted his head. He was talking to himself? How Queer. The larger deer craned his head and continued to mumble to himself as he stared at the does. A few of his words brought a blush to 's green face. How courageous. No other deer would dare say such things.
slipped behind the mumbling deer and shed the amphibious form for it's favorite appearance. It carefully checked its appearance in the water and hesitantly stretched out a leg to nudge the being before it. "D-Doctor?"
The reaction was immediate. The one known as Doctor Dumaya hissed at it. "Shhh...! You'll give me away you dumbfu-" He froze and examined the deer before him. Sparkling hide. Giant white eyes with long lashes. Big feathers with a long bushy tail. Hot damn! He lowered his voice and glanced over to make sure the bathers were still oblivious to their presence. He gave a nervous chuckle and took a closer look at his new patient. "Good good now what seems to be the problem? Stiff leg? Cracked hoof? Broken heart? Irritation in your sensitive areas? I think a full physical is in order!"
smiled and watched its new friend checking it for illness. How considerate. It propped up a back leg and peered through its front at its new companion. "What are you looking at?"
The doctor gave a nervous laugh in reply and poked his head out to stare at the strange intruding being. "I think more importantly is what I am not looking at! What, you get in a bad fight or something? You're ill equipped!" Boring. What use did he have with a eunuch? He bristled and slunk back down to his earlier hiding spot to continue watching the real women.
"Hey? Dumaya! Hey! Come oh why are you ignoring me? Hey!"
leaned forward and lightly head butted the smaller creature.
Dumaya glared back at the ill equipped creature and hissed at him. "Will you shut up? You're going to give me away!"
peered through the long grass and sat down by the Doctor. "Why don't you just go talk to them?
Dumaya snorted loudly and gave his lacking annoyance a stern look. "Talk? Ehehehe! Who said I wanted to talk to them?"
considered this concept with some trouble. If he did not want to talk to the two females, then why was he over here? What did he want with them? "Wellll...Then why don't you just go do what you want to do to them?"
Th doctor seemed to consider this for a few moments before breaking into an insane giggle fit. Just walk up and do that to them? Sure he might get away with it the first time, but then they'd go around the forest crying about how he violated them. He'd have to sleep with one eye open due to the bloodthirsty stags out for revenge. Not to mention it would be right out here in the open. He didn't mind an audience once in a while, but he was a doctor twingods damn it not a circus seal!
leaned forward and blew in his face. Doc? Are you okay? You've just been sitting there with a weird expression on your um..black.
Dumaya briskly shook his head and gave the tiresome deer a plush towards shore. "Look kid. You're nice and all but if you're not going to be quiet or helpful get lost or I'll start charging rent!" frowned and stared at him with huge pleading eyes. "But.."
"No."
"I just wanted..."
"I don't want you to."
A single tear slid down its cheek and it closed it's long lashed eyes for a pity session. It whimpered and nuzzled the side of the doctor's face."I J-Just wanted to help you meet g-g-irls."
Dumaya could barely contain his laughter. Help? What was he going to do? Lure them over and charge them to stare at the dickless wonder? Before he could react the nuisance was skipping across the pond to confront the females. It hit the water and transformed into a frog as it neared closer. Dumaya watched closely. It's failure would most likely prove hilarious.
neared the two does and hopped square in the center of their conversation. He cleared his throat with a loud Crrrrrk! and stared brightly up at the girls."Hi Ladies! Would you like to meet a friend of mine?"
Their eyes widened. The colour drained from their faces. He hoped closer and affectionately nuzzled the unknown doe's foreleg. Her eyes widened and she only exchanged a brief glance with Kaoori before the two does were sprinting through the shallows.
"IIIIIIEEEEEE! TALKING POSSESSED FROG!"
Dumaya lifted his head hopefully as the does neared and gave what he thought to be his least creepy smile. "Hello Ladies! I am a world renowned freelance gynecologist! Might I offer you a group discount? It's on me!" The two deer froze in their tracks staring at the skinny clawed inky buck before them.
"IIIIEEEEE! CREEPY PERVERT IN THE LONG GRASS!"
The first doe sailed over his head and he only had a fraction of a second to enjoy the view when Kaoori purposefully landed on his back and shoved him under the water before following her bathing companion.
regained his attractive form and sauntered back to where the doctor was in hiding. "Wow wasn't that great? They went right for you Doc!
....
Doc?"
Hm. He must have found a better hiding spot. sat down and lazily rubbed one of his head feathers on his shoulder to relieve an itch. The water was strangely murky over here. Sort of bubbly and uneven too.
Ah well, the doc would be back soon and he could help him meet even more does.
liked Doctor Dumaya.
liked helping it's friends.
odd.but good.
I'm in a library, damn it. I
Oh man. I should boot female Atvana in there. It would have fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun messing with him. > >
Oh WOW oh..
WOW
oh.. wowwwwwww.
(These shenanigans must continue some time.)
You know they'll continue
I don't remember this
I love your writting and its even better when its not pg.
Would it be too needy to ask that before you use Tally in any writtings that envolve dialouge or specific movements [like the eyes] that you could possibly ask me first? I'm not a hardass or anything I just don't want to see her misread. :] And I wouldn't mind getting to know ya. *shot*
Sorry Tally, I just put in
I wrote her out of it.
I apologize.
I've never had someone upset about it before.
I really didn't think it would bother either of you considering it was such an aside minimalist part.
Usually people appreciate their deer getting a small cameo or something.
I will refrain from writing about Tally in the future.
I posted a blog asking who else does not want me writing about their deer in hindsight.
I guess I just assumed since artists can draw anyone they want that I might be able to be nice and give named characters little bit roles. Ah..yeah my fault. That was a really stupid thing to do.
No no it's fine! I'm not
So funny! XD
I read this before, but I
This is hilarious.
I loved it.
<33
ROFLMAO how did I miss
the whacking him into the pond anime-style at the end... epic.
XD