Chapter Five – Sissy and Sinful

WARNING: REALLY BAD HUMOR AWAITS YOU. ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE

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“Okay… options… Gotta go over the options… Sure there may be two big freaking dogs in front of me…” Jergens’s mind was going all around in a blur. He decided to go over all the possible choices that he could make…

A. Scream bloody murder

B. Run like Hell

C. Continue with phase one and act as if the dogs don’t exist.

After carefully eliminating the various options he could take, Jergens decided to go with option ‘C’. It was his least favorite, but it was the only sure-fire way to go on with the plan.

Actually, the ‘plan’ really only had one phase. Jergens just thought that the idea of ‘phases’ sounded cool. No, the actual plan in order to land himself some employment was to seduce Bartleby. That was it, no strings attached. Ludicrous, yes, but it was the Jergens way. The Jergens way didn’t have to be sane. He stood up and walked out of the bushes, brushing stray leaves off of him.

The two dogs snapped their heads at him simultaneously, a vicious growl rumbling within them both. Jergens saw their black gums curl over their fearsome yellow fangs. Using every bit of composure to not piss himself in fear, he smiled rather suavely at Bartleby (or at least in his general direction, his eyes were completely locked onto the dogs).

Bartleby cocked an eyebrow at his new visitor when he came out of the foliage and eyed him suspiciously. A very light blonde lock of hair covered one of his eyes. “You again?” he muttered, almost in disgust before standing up and looking him over. “I’ll admit that it’s an improvement though…” he said, tapping his lip in mild thought as the two dogs sat on both sides of him, glaring at Jergens. Jergens himself, on the other hand, didn’t feel as thoughtful. With a very forced (but natural looking) grin, said, “Hey, what’s going on?” Hmm... a bit nonchalant, yes, but it would do. Bartleby stared at him rather blankly, raised his hand, and struck him across the cheek. Hard.

Jergens recoiled a little at the hit; he had been slapped before, but never by a guy. “Wow… I didn’t think you were THAT prissy…” he laughed nervously, rubbing his sore cheek. The blonde’s brilliant green eyes flashed in anger. “Prissy?! This coming from the stalker that hides in my garden? Do you have anything else to do other than watch me?” he asked. “Ooh… that stung…” Jergens rolled his eyes. The dogs both snarled in unison, sensing threat from this strange man. Bartleby bent down and stroked both of their head. “Shhh… Calm down Debit… You too Credit… Mommy’s taking care of this… Shh…” he cooed softly, soothing them. Jergens burst into laughter, tears falling from his eyes. “Oh my God… you really are gay, aren’t you?” he clutched his sides in laughter, forgetting his fear of the two dogs. “Gay?! Who’s the one that’s been creeping around, trying to catch glimpses at me?!” Bartleby stood up and crossed his arms, quite furious, but not ready to take any sort of physical action. “Well excuse me, princess…” Jergens mumbled.

“Bastard!”

“Sissy!”

“Pervert!”

“Slut!”

“This is getting us nowhere.” Jergens thought to himself, he didn’t care though, he liked this guy. It was fun to make him angry. Eventually they stopped. “So you really want a job that badly? Really?” Bartleby suddenly smiled rather cutely, making Jergens lightly blush. “You really want to work for me?” Jergens nodded and grinned. “Yup, that’s why I came here.” He said. A flash of devilish delight came into Bartleby’s eyes. He stepped closer and lightly touched the redhead’s bony shoulder.

“Well then… you can be my new dog keeper… Debit and Credit really seem to like you… you can sleep in the kennel with the other dogs too…”

He turned around and walked back to the front door, Debit, the white-pawed dog, following him obediently while Credit stayed behind. “Oh, yes… there’s about twenty of them, just so you know… vicious things, they’re hunting dogs, so they can be rather dangerous…” With that the fair-haired young man walked inside and shut the door behind him.

Jergens was silent; a sort of paralyzed numbness had come over him. He came here to get Bartleby to fall for him, but it had acted in a completly opposite mannor. Slowly, he looked over to the dog sitting beside him. It’s long, pink tongue was out… just a long piece of dangling flesh lolled out as it stared at him and-

The deer that Jergens had seen not too long ago stopped abruptly in his tracks, his ears pricking up. He turned to a nearby man that was walking alongside of him. “Sir, did you hear something?” the stag asked him. The man nodded his head, “Aye, sounded like a high-pitched squeal, eh?” the stag nodded. “It stopped rather abruptly, wouldn’t you say?” the man nodded as well, quite casual. “Mm, yes, probably just the wind… no kind of noise like that could come from anything but that.”

“Yes, quite.”

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My 'reward' to you after not updating in two or three days, two chapters in one day! Wow!
...I just need to accept the fact that I'm not the funniest person here xD
This stupid thing is taking WAY too many twists and turns for me...