In Which Sitka discovers the cathartic power of meeting a new friend. For the purposes of this story we will call this new friend "Guinness." We find her at Stevie's Basement Bar, enjoying a show and sharing her thoughts on life...

So I said to them, I said Two, because there's two of them, you see. I said Two, I like what you did with me, the Sweet Songbird Of The Forest and all that, yeah. But why is it that when I go into the human world you make me wear something that makes me sound like an asthmatic teamster after a three-day pub crawl? I can't sing with this on. Here, try it.

See, you sound like that movie announcer guy. Why doesn't that WORK for me? I come off like an angry whale, but if humans wear it they sound so elegant and their voices get all clear and pretty and stuff. So anyway, the Two told me that I have to wear this... thing in the human world because if I started singing it would fry their brains or something. And I'm not a bad singer, but they said it would because I'm TOO good, and they're in charge so I gotta listen. Blah.

I want thumbs. I hate not having thumbs and I feel ridiculous drinking this stuff through a straw. Thanks for moving my glass around for me, I'd give you a hug but I can't see you very well. You know why I want thumbs? So I can pick up stuff. I see pretty things everywhere but I have to navigate these darned hooves together to get anything and by the time I get it figured out the pretty thing is gone. But I can pick up big stuff, like earlier I picked up a puppy and he went on my feet. I spent five minutes finding a pair of leaves to wear as shoes and he went on my feet! Little brat...

Ah. What are those little bendy things? Could you slide that little basket over here? Thanks. Do you mind if I just... pick one out... darn. Do you mind? Fanks. Hey, theze argood. What are they called? Prezzels? I fink I wont more but I'm being rude and talking wif my mouf full. I'm sorry. I'll stop. Can't be anything but cute, you know. I kinda get tired of it sometimes, the Two have tasked me with bringing love and light to the world but I just want to sit around and watch cartoons and eat something other than pinecones every now and again. Like pizza. I would love a pizza but I can't have it because I. Don't. Have. Thumbs.

Why can't I feel my feet? Why do you remind me of my grandfather? Why the heck is that girl on the stage picking stuffing out of a perfectly good chair? Why am I having such a smelly day? Oh, I didn't tell you about my day, did I...

*thunk* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....