Pattering upon my face
I feel the pain
I feel the every drop
It feels the same
I scream to it, "ACIDIC,"
Never listens
I try to drown for hours
Solely Christens

I bleed my silver blood
All down this wall
With shadows warped by heart
And kept so small
I wander slowly, loathe
My every step
I scream and cry and plead
With lowered head

But silver 'twas the luna
Kissed me softly
And giggle, did the "good"
Twin Gods often
They do not care of a
Single doe's low head
And cast her immortal
To breathe the lead

---

I want to die. I want it so badly. I taste the salten tears of the beast, forever frozen and locked in time, to bleed his endless energy outwards.

For to rid the forest of the wretched beast, need they but forever let his powers flow and pool, cast and drain, swirl to never.

My Lady won't let me play anymore.

Not after my failed attempt. My IGNORED attempt to drown myself, after smashing my head into trees, into the gravestone, OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

I WANT TO FLOAT DOWN THE RIVER WITH A SMASHED SKULL AND A BREATHLESS SOUL...

Why...why can't you let a ghost free....why..d..do you hate me...male God...?

---

My sister is...is really hurting right now. It breaks my heart to see her like this...not like any of you cared...you all seemed perfectly fine with her desires...

There's nothing I can do to change her mind right now...>_<;;;...

---

Last night, I basically found out Michael's sick of me, and he said the problem is on my end, not the server.

*sighs*...can't he believe there's SOMETHING off about the server? Just something? Maybe little, but combined with whatever problem my computer has, it means I can't play?

I've given up hope...what's the freaking point anymore...>_<;;;...

---

THIS IS WHY I GIVE UP HOPE:

My message to Michael: Is there any way for me to contact the server hosts to see if they might have a better idea of what the problem is?

Michael's Reply: If you mean, the people who host our game server, no. If we can figure out what causes the problem then we can discuss it with them. But for now there is no reason to assume that the problem is with their servers. Since the game runs flawlessly on most machines, it is more likely that the problem is localized on your end.

---

*sighs* Did he see Scape's poll...? Even if the problem is partially my computer, why does almost EVERYONE benefit from using the back-up server? Many people seemed to have a big improvement.