I haven't been on much sorry for that but,I can't seem to catch a break.My dad's back in the hospital as some of you know in his past he had a heart attack and then in May of 2010 he had another one but they had to do a triple bipass surgery.This time around it wasn't a heart attack he has a hernia which is a hole.His stomach enlarged 5 times its orginal size and caused him to have a strangulated hernia.His kidneys were shutting down he couldn't keep anything down.Luckily enough we got him in the hospital because had we let it go it would have just worsened and could have potentially been a life threatening situation.


He had surgery today to fix that.So far he's doing ok they are going to keep him a couple days to watch him,and make sure his kidney functions are ok.But during the surgery they discovered that the linning of his stomach was fused to the linning of his chest.That was something they were shocked and scared to find they separated both linnings. For at least two weaks he's on a full liqued diet.They told him that he could not undo this surgery or it could be life threatening.


I'm worried on many different levels because from previous experiences my dad never listens.
He has had many wake up calls about his health,and he's not tried.And to me when you don't try to do something that would not only lengthen your life and improve it but you do the exact opposite I'd say he does't care.He is the only one that financially supports this family.He raises cane to my mom when she tries to work.


Throughout my life yes my dad has given me a roof over my head and shoes on my feet,but he has never given me emotional support in my life.Every time I look back the one I remember most is my mom.Jealousy plays apart in this to.He's jealous over anyone that my mom pays attention to excpt him,and since my mom wanted a daughter for so long in her life and spends alot of time with me I'm one of the people he fights for her attention over.It may sound sooo vain and judgemental to some of you but until you live with someone who not only sabatoges themselves and the situation and people around them you won't fully be able to understand the world I'm living in.

I actually want my mom to get the divorce more than ever know.Our life's would be so much more positive if we went out without him.I didn't mean to rant or rave but no one in my life besides my mom knows how he is because he does put on a facade for other people to make him look good.

Sorry for the negativity but I had to in some shape or form express the truth and how I feel.To those who read all of this I must say I'm surprised but thank you for letting me express myself in this small corner of the world.