i feel like it. ive been going through crap lately, thisll feel nice.

mkay.

1. Okay, you really should stop putting yourself down all the time. You're a beautiful girl with lots of talent and patience. You've got a big heart to offer. The only reason you think you're so ugly is because no one seems to accept you, but that's not true! You've got so many friends that love you for who you really are! You don't act like you like something just so you can fit in. You're proud to say that you hate Twilight infront of all your fangirl friends, doesn't that say something? You tell the truth, you never lie when it matters. You're so miserable because everyone you start caring for ends up kicking you to the ground. But you know what? Every time that happens, you just pick yourself up and start walking again. You've done that every time. Haven't you realized that yet? You hurt on the inside, yet you grin and bear it. It shows strength, Raku. You have strength.

2. Stop whining about being single. You said yourself after Tom rejected you that you wouldn't care anymore. Why do you still care? Don't be such a hypocrite, start living. I know you're not as sad as you used to be, but you still feel pain inside whenever you see them together. Whenever you hear your friends got a date or kissed someone. You just want someone to be with and talk about with all your other taken friends. You wanna be inside the conversation of what cute things your boyfriend does for you. Take your time. Love will come to you. It has to, because you gave up on looking for it. After so many tries, you gave up. Honestly, it doesn't sound like the best option, but it was. You just got tired of being pushed out of the picture by someone else. You're so much happier now, and you know it. You shouldn't care so much. Be patient. Someone will find you eventually.

3. Get over bloody Nick. He doesn't love you anymore, so get over it. I know your best friend is going out with him now, and it still hurts, if only a little bit. But you shouldn't care. He treated you like crap so many times, why do you still think you two have a chance? I can see that maybe in your senior year you could try it out, but I can't see it going as far as it did the first time. You're getting along so well now, he just told you he would never give you up as a friend. Isn't that worth something? Stop loving him like a lover. Start loving him as a friend. You told him you still loved him enough to want to help, so start acting like it. Help him when he needs it, him and Ella aren't going to last forever. Once they're done, he WILL need help. He WILL need support. You're the best one for the job. He still trusts you. If you love him so much... then stop getting so jealous... and just be happy with what you have.

4. I know it bugs you by the fact that so many people get so much fanart and crap and they've only been here for what, a few months? You're almost at your 1 year anniversary here. Already! You never thought you'd be here this long! It does bug you about the fanart. In all honesty, it bugged you the fact that Narina got more happy birthdays than you did. You aren't really satisfied with how your birthday went, are you? Well too bad, it's over. You got amazing gifts from amazing friends. That's what really counts. You seem underappreciated by others, but why? Why do you think that? Looking at all these rants now, your friends told you upfront how they felt about you, and it took you until JUST THEN to realize that? Dannii, Avani, Sarie, Rai, Pega, Marti, Shi, Her, all of your friends have been there to appreciate you this whole time. Why didn't you feel it? You love and respect them so much, and you didn't feel love and respect in return? That's just crazy. Avani told you you were brilliant, why didn't you believe her? You ARE brilliant, look at all the stories you've come up with! Be happy about the friends you have, don't be so uptight about fanart. That's not what makes a friendship.

5. Your parents really bug you, don't they? They order you around, interrupt you when you've just gotten your peace together, they force you to go places you don't want to go, so what? Do they do that just because they know you hate it? No! Of course not! Your parents love you, they're just trying to help you around with your life. And don't you dare think they don't give you anything in return. Mom always goes shopping with you and spends hundreds of dollars on clothes and stuff that you don't need. She does that because she loves you and wants to make you happy? So why do you feel like you hate them? Are you just tired of being bossed around like a little kid? Are you tired of being dragged around everywhere? Every time your Dad comes in to tell you to do a job, you feel that burn on the inside. It makes you just wanna punch him. But you don't, because you have just enough control and respect to do what he wants you to do anyway. And stop getting all worked up every time he leaves the door open! It's just a door, and he's a forgetful person. You're the ONLY one in the house that wants her door closed all the time. Every time your Mom tells you about your grades, you get so frustrated. But it's true, you could be doing better. You try so hard not to lose it infront of her, but she just keeps pushing you. Just calm down. You're at that age where parents seem like a useless part of your life, but really, they're doing a lot more than you think. They're trying to help you succeed, and all you give them in return is frustrated tears and tantrums. You aren't 5 anymore. At least try to appreciate them a little more, then maybe they won't seem so pesky to you.

6. You've considered it, haven't you? Leaving TEF? Yeah, you've considered it, but you'll never do it. You won't leave until all your friends are gone too. Stop being pushed around by your brother, he doesn't know what he's talking about. This is a great community, so you won't leave just because the rest of your family hates it. Come on. You're stronger than that. And besides, think of all the people you'll hurt because of it. Everyone who's been in touch with you will lose a little of the magic this place has, because you're one of the sources. This has been one of the only communities you've been respected in. There are so little peers here, in fact, you seem to be one of them. Newbies could be very well intimidated by you. You've been around the block here at least once. You know you're way around things. You should use that. Help new players out more, let them feel welcome. Next thing you'll know, you'll become one of the old timers that gets respect simply because they've been here for so long. Don't leave, Raku, there's too much to leave behind here.

i guess thats all i can think of... 6 points? thats actually less than i expected, but theres a lot in there... i guess it feels good to get that out now...